Indulge in Paradise

I'm Jordan. I'm 25. Sleeved 12/10/18.

[indulge-in-paradise]

Why am i struggling so hard to get in these fluids!? 64 oz used to be a fucking BREEZE, and now it’s sooo hard. The struggle. I’m only 2 weeks out, but gotta get it together. 

[aidashakur]

[autumn-rainy]

[alisonzai]

[neill-deactivated20120517]

[freddy-krueger-archive]

christ marsha was such a raging bitch

[nomnomnomnomzieaturcatz-blog]

how was this show successful 

[lindsaychrist]

this is from the brady bunch movie it was made 1995

[debussylovesdepussy-deactivated]

I’m Carol Brady pouring the entire sugar container into her coffee

[inlesbianswithprincezuko]

“I’ve never heard of a George Glass as our Sküle”

[im-horngry]

[kaylaitsines]

[indulge-in-paradise]

*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

[fatgirlgetsfitatlast]

Doing math and dealing with idiots on the phone before noon should be illegal. 

[teesadutta]

10.14.17

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

BBQ

blease be quiet

[thewitchdoctor]

[uranian97]

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

[a-chicago-sunflower]

3) mostly mined with slave labor

[everkings]

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

[wildhaunt]

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

[ariaste]

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 

Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

[everythingcanadian-archive]

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

[dxisybuchanan]

engagement rings: HACKED

[carelesscommunity-blog]

[stylishblogger]

[best-of-imgur]

[wifeacrossthesea]

this will never not be funny

[loadingartist]

DEAD END.

Also, I’m live streaming the new comic right now on Twitch!

[prettynerdieworks]

a true  L E G E N D