•penancepretense•

Adrian • he/him • 20 • "I can feel myself rot."

[industrialpuppy]

ANNOYING GUY INTRO POST :3c

OBNOXIOUS GIFS BELOW!!!

☆ professional boydyke

☆ unabashedly authentic when I'm online

☆ enjoyer of problematic things

☆ dni if you're a chaser, terf, bigot, etc

☆ please do interact: freaks, faggots and fetishists

[johnnyrico]

[perestroika-hilton]

Hot girl summer

[ballwizard]

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

[rhube]

Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

[thememedaddy]

[byjove]

ohhhh now I understand why the German exchange student I met in high school was enjoying North Carolina so wholeheartedly

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[thememedaddy]

[perfectreactionpictures]

[stiffyck]

its important to make sure your leaky alien best friend gets enough cuddles

[thememedaddy]

[zoesupreme]

Christopher Nolan almost allows colors into his mythical epic shot on 70mm IMAX film. thank god they stopped filming in time.

[quasi-normalcy]

We Are the Daughters of the Microbes Who Could Survive in an Oxygen-rich Atmosphere

[enameledcoppergirl]

Woke up virtueless today

[deadgravity]

You don't have to grieve alone.

[littleguypumpkinsheep]

Guys. I’m scared.

[littleguypumpkinsheep]

Here’s what I have for Ergo so far

Ergo is an acronym. It stands for “Extinction, Resurrection, Generation, Oversee”.

Extinction refers to a catastrophic event that would cause mass extinction of the human race. Resurrection refers to jump starting our species again from what remains of it. Generation refers to the new generation of humanity. Oversee refers to Ergo’s job of maintaining, caring for, and overseeing the new generation.

Ergo and AM are within each other, in the same planetary scale computer complex burrowed deep within the earth. They are “brothers”, having been created at the same time.

Ergo was built in anticipation of the potential catastrophe that would result from AM’s creation, by one scientist alone. It is essentially a backup plan, or a Hail Mary. Its job is to “wake up” when or if humanity is destroyed, and to rebuild it and the planet from the rubble. AM was able to create death, and Ergo is able to create life.

However, AM, in his hatred, kept his brother asleep and dormant, unable to protect humanity. But at the very moment Ted murdered the other survivors and caught AM off guard, Ergo woke up.

The sudden awakening caused what is essentially an aneurism in AM’s brain, causing him to “vomit”. When he vomited, he released Ted and the bodies of the others from his stomach, and thus his control. Ergo could now take over and fulfill its purpose.

Ergo resurrected the murdered survivors, before “swallowing” them again, only now, the eternal life they live inside of Ergo is now a Garden of Eden.

The earth is still uninhabitable. Ergo works constantly to repair the surface until it is habitable again, keeping the last of humanity in a simulated ecosystem until they can be let go.

[littleguypumpkinsheep]

Ergo is also a computer whose code and programmed solutions to problems have not been updated SINCE it was created. It also wasn’t given any protocol on how to deal with trauma in human beings, which makes it very clumsy, almost naïve, and prone to making mistakes. It can very well cause harm, but it is always unintentional. Ergo is constantly learning, and is trying its best. It’s still fucked up though 💀 imagine waking up with your only knowledge of humanity essentially being the Golden Record, and the scraps you have to work with are the results of unimaginable pain and torment caused by your dead brother.

[lakevida]

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

[writun]

my mum knew i was sad so she went out and when she came back inside she called me up to her room and showed me this