You know that idea where "the fae/fair folk" are very rigid about rules and etiquette and agreements/contracts, and will not lie but may be very literal in their interpretations of words, which we see often in fantasy and is usually thought of/referenced as "Irish" based lore? I'd like to use that for a story, but I don't want to make assumptions that could be incorrect about other cultures' lore. Could you help with good sources? Especially on stories where they interact w/ humans in some way?
Hello!
This question really delves into the nitty gritty of folklore and I like it!
First off, you specifically refer to not wanting to make assumptions about other cultures’ lore, but that’s something we’re going to do right off the bat. In fact, that’s partly what makes a good storyteller—the ability to read about something, or take some piece of information, and embellish it or come at it from a different perspective to give a fresh, exciting take.
Fae and Fair folk are epithets given to otherworldly creatures prominently featured in Irish mythology and folklore. There is some overlap with other places in the United Kingdom, most notably Scotland and England, but when you start to venture out of Ireland, you might hear variations on the names like pixies, spriggans, elves and leprechauns. The name with which you’re referring to the fae is important is it relates to certain behaviours ascribed to them. The fairies of the English/Irish/Scottish Seelie Court are literally “happy”, whereas the Unseelie Court fairies are “misfortunate”. The fairies of the first court are likely to bestow gifts upon humans; the fairies of the latter, more likely to assault and abduct without provocation. The Welsh Tylwyth Teg and the Irish Aos Sì, also categorized as the ageless and powerful Fair Folk, are considered to be more neutrally aligned, and inhabit a world parallel to humans that only intersects when they want it to.
Irish and Scottish folktales were deeply shaped by their exposure to Christianity, beginning as early as the 5th century CE. There are multiple theories as to the origins of the Fair Folk, which might be worth examining if you’re looking to delve into the motivation behind these rules and behaviours—some scholars have the fae as an archaic form of ancestor worship; some as fairies being the souls of the dead, disfigured and trapped on earth; one school of thought suggests they are fallen angels who were cast out of Heaven by god and denied entry to Hell by the devil himself (you see the Christian influence coming in here).
You’re on the right track asking for sources that depict the fairy-human relationship. The rules, etiquette, agreements, contracts and equivocating language that fairies use are all things cobbled together from the myriad depictions of humans interacting with fairies. The most notable compilers and collectors of those stories was W.B. Yeats, the Irish poet, in his book Fairy Folk Tales of Ireland. Yeats and Lady Augusta Gregory, a member of the Irish landed gentry who was greatly interested in preserving Irish culture, fostered each others’ interest in folk tales. Lady Gregory published two collected volumes of Irish folk tales. Those two sources would be great places to start. Professor D. L. Ashliman, formerly of University of Pittsburgh, has also transcribed several hundred excerpts from various works of collected fairy stories from different cultures, including Irish, Scottish, and English.
Based on those sources, some patterns of behaviour come to light, which I’ve listed below:
Some common “rules” for interacting with fairies:
1- always be polite and never insulting
2- never make a promise to them you don’t intend to keep
3- do not litter or despoil a fairy dwelling (obvious or suspected)
4- don’t expect something for nothing—all interactions with fairy must be mutually profitable
Etiquette
1- never accept a fairy gift
2- do not eat fairy food or drink fairy wine
3- don’t step into a fairy ring/follow fairy music or a fairy procession/dance with the fairies/get romantic with a fairy
4- don’t reveal your “true” name to a fairy
5- don’t say thank you—it implies you owe them
6- don’t mention any newborn children you or someone else has got lying around
The problem, as I’ve already said, is that there’s nothing to tell us exactly why fairies were thought to behave a certain way, or interact with humans as they did. Stories about the Fair Folk have been recounted orally among people living in the United Kingdom for time immemorial, and they’ve always been regarded with a mixture of respect, delight, and fear. Even their epithets—”the Fair Folk”, “the Good People”—are supposedly deliberate attempts to soften their ire against humans by giving them a beneficent title they don’t necessarily deserve.
A traditional belief was that fairies were to blame for the disappearance or spoiling of common elements crucial to survival in rural Ireland. If a crop of wheat was harvested, but a child in the home died from malnourishment, the fairies had interfered with the essence of the wheat, taking it for themselves and leaving an empty simulacrum for the humans—something that might look healthy and nutritious, but is really devoid of value.
Two versions of the same story—one from Ireland, one from Scotland—tell of a deformed man, a hunchback, who unwittingly stumbles upon a fairy and is invited to take part in a dance. The fairies see his intention is pure and by this alone he warrants the removal of his hunch by the fairies (who do not ask him, but simply do it). A second man then wanders into the fairy gathering and his uncouth behaviour is rewarded with the deformity of the first man. In the Scottish version of the telling, the second man goes out of his way to find the fairies after the first man tells him of the miracle that befell him. It is the avaricious intent in the second man’s heart that ultimately dooms him to be punished by the fairies.
We can infer a couple of things from the morality in just these two stories (there are so many more): the first might be an example of the natural forces at work that Irish farmers may not have completely understood; the second, a fable meant to drive home the point that a pure heart will get more reward in life for being content with his lot and asking for nothing, than someone who goes out seeking to get whatever he can from whoever will give it to him.
My best advice to you, if you’re repurposing these myths to tell your own story, is to really spend some time getting inside them to understand what they’re about, and what it is that gives them their meaning. What makes the myth meaningful to the story you’re writing? And remember, if you meet a fair-haired stranger who asks you what you’re writing, don’t tell them your real name, or follow them down any garden paths, just to be safe.
Bonne chance,
Renee



















