PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
noise dept.
shark vs the universe
roma★
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
🪼
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
wallacepolsom
No title available
$LAYYYTER
No title available
cherry valley forever
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@inemptyhouses
we all at minimum deserve a unique exit from this world.
#inemptyhouses- a indie multi-muse blog featuring various OCs and canon (and canon divergent) characters. penned by mandy/mason (21+ and they/them). still slowly piecing back to together how writing on this site goes!
links asks | muses | faq
FOR EVERY 🗣 I RECEIVE FOR MY MUSE WILL TELL YOU A RANDOM FACT ABOUT THEMSELVES
WCA #4 📺
I will get up again. And again. And again.
𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒
change gendered language to your needs. ♡
“ crying is very punk, trust me, i do it all the time & i am a punk. ” “ do i like him or is he just tall? ” “ not to be dramatic but if i don’t get my life together i will die. ” “ am i dramatic? yes. is it justified? also yes. ” “ everything that you feel is just a chemical reaction inside your head. wow. ” “ there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me. it’s called the throne. ” “ let’s get high!! … grades. ” “ i think my gps secretly gets mad at me when i deliberately disobey its directions. ” “ it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s … me, trying to outrun my feelings. there i go. ” “ i am here to say that i am a bisexual who loves mangoes. ” “ why has no one fallen in love with me yet? i’m so bored. ” “ honestly, i don’t even play an active role in my life. shit just happens & i’m like ‘ oh, is this what we’re doing now? okay. ’ ” “ life hack : you don’t have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon. ” “ what the fuck do mirrors do when nobody is around? ” “ it may look like i’m having deep thoughts, but really, i’m just thinking about what to eat next. ” “ do i deserve back pain at this age? ” “ i’m a simple person; anything happens, i cry. ” “ i’ve mastered the skill of feeling guilty for asking for anything. ” “ yes, the rumors are true. i’m a lovey-dovey dumbass. ” “ i try not to sound like an asshole, but it’s really hard because i am an asshole. ” “ someone has to date me eventually, right? ” “ what circle of dante’s inferno did you crawl out of? ” “ your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this friendship apart. ” “ there’s no way that EVERYBODY was kung-fu fighting. ” “ saying my name is so intimate, why would you do that to me? ” “ don’t ask me about my sexuality. you’re not gonna get a straight answer. ” “ i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining. ” “ the first step to any murder is to have fun & be yourself. ” “ i think i am subconsciously trying to ruin my own life. ” “ i may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep down inside, i am actually angrier. ” “ i push everyone away, but in a way, i am doing them a favor. ” “ what do you mean a thesaurus isn’t a dinosaur? ” “ i’m not even a hot mess. i’m more like a lukewarm mess. ” “ i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual. ” “ can someone please explain to me how i’m supposed to sleep for eight hours straight when i’m not even straight? ” “ you’re not allowed to be busy, you’re my only friend. ” “ becoming older than ten years old was the biggest mistake of my life. ” “ is it cold in here, or is that just my heart? ” “ if i sigh loudly enough, will all my problems go away? ” “ hey, sorry i’m late. i didn’t want to come. ”
“i’ve had exactly nine bad ideas today.”
say hi to clint everyone
hello friends i am back to cause issues and maybe add a few new characters to write for
love these guys. the cycle nauts
hello what if i wasn’t dead and just got really caught up in my new job
IT (1990) dir. Tommy Lee Wallace / IT: CHAPTER ONE (2017) dir. Andy Muschietti
have i been relistening to podc.ast while at work? yes do i have dou.g eiff.el brainrot? also yes
so catch me on my pod.cast multi too!!
It’s spooky season bois.
my brother, my brother, and me / starter sentences. (pt. II)
feel free to change pronouns as needed! / pt. i
‘ scholars can’t prove that jesus was not from boston. ‘
‘ but no – he was actually in a feminist punk band. ‘
‘ you know what? that’s a new, good, adult rule: don’t go to parties unless they have fucking guest towels. ‘
‘ my age is actually defined by the fact that if i did that, i would die. ‘
‘ i actually would say, in this circumstance, poop in your hand plus me not being you equals very, very funny. ‘
‘ sexy garfield is compromised. i repeat, sexy garfield is compromised. ‘
‘ it’s like alec baldwin said in that movie: a - always, b - be, d - dipping. dip, i’m out. ‘
‘ now, i did learn a lot while i was in that bear pussy… ‘
‘ chunk pump makes me think of like, the old-timey way that pioneers used to get cream corn up out of the ground. ‘
‘ drop to one knee, kiss her hand. make sure you’re wearing a fedora and make sure you’re within eyesight of me so i can come kick the shit out of you. ‘
‘ people used to say that man couldn’t fly, and that earth was flat. and look what columbus did? he flew. ‘
‘ there’s a wild variance in quality of garlic bread. you really don’t know what you’re gonna get. ‘
‘ fast-food restaurants are, by definition, a gun that shoots burgers at you. ‘
‘ i’ve got in my cubicle a harry houdini bobble-head, a superman bust, and… a donkey figurine, from shrek, that talks. ‘
’ can you cook and eat the beans from a beanbag chair? ’
’ we’re gonna share this together, baby. you, me, and the lice. ’
’ nothing that you do on the internet matters, especially not on facebook. ’
’ have you ever tried to carry a dead kid? ’
’ here’s some other shit that has no significance. ’
’ here’s a quick lesson in urban legend. urban legend - kid was sticking his head out a window, a car was passing with, like, a dog sticking their head out of the window, the kid knocked the dog’s head off. that’s an urban legend. ’
’ it’s about to get stranger and stranger, just buckle up. ’
’ ghosts have to hang out where they die. like, forever. ’
’ that is the worst urban legend i have ever heard. ’
’ i do believe that everybody who asks a yahoo answer question is beyond help, um, from anybody. ’
’ i know that when i’m trying to stop impressing women, the first thing i do is talk about dungeons and dragons. ’
’ have you guys ever tried to drink warm milk? it’s foul. ’
’ my body knows that when i’m asleep, i’m basically dead for like 8 hours. and that’s not only terrifying but wasteful. there’s a lot of things i could be doing with my dead time. ’
’ abba? not so good about returning our phone calls. ’
’ can you find my scorpion’s genitals for me? ’
’ i just wanna be a dune buggy. they’re awesome. ’
’ i’d be a hearse that used to be a hearse but then somebody turned it into a pizza wagon. ’
’ we just broke through the crust into the creepy, creepy mantle of this question. ’
’ like, when i’m in the shower hangin’ brain, i can barely observe my own thing without getting a little sick. ’
’ there’s a lot of christmas-themed names for your testicles, now that i think about it. ’
’ you gotta flip it on him. make him think that you’re gonna step on his balls, and then maybe like, step on his butthole. ’
’ if i was a homosexual i would totally want a granddad boyfriend. ’
’ you know how human beings only use 20% of their dicks? ’
’ bradley cooper uses 100% of his 5 dicks. ’
’ here’s a fun idea, do some drinking. ’
’ i’m not so sure you know what gay means. ’
’ as angry as i was about this guy, there is a much more unpleasant gentleman whose fetish is a little boy stuck in a chocolate tube. ’
’ to ride a horse is to borrow the entire billy joel discography. ’
’ my butt’s a vagina? ’
me before giving a bj
*tapping* is this thing on?
I FORGOT TO POST THIS HERE
but!! i’m currently in the process of test driving using a new name!! mandy is still 100% a-ok and wonderful but i’ll be using mason too to see if i like it or not!! so if you see me flip back and forth between those names that’s why lmao
the it movies are my peak “i never said it was good, i just said that i liked it.”
