Crash'n'Burn @inevitableneuroticcrash - Tumblr Blog

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I am going to ramble and chat absolute horseshit until I get either get self conscious enough to either delete this account or to ignore it entirely like every other piece of social media I've had the degrading experience of being apart of. I hope all of you scrolling past my dogshit rambles of a perfectly well-adjusted human male, are completely and contemptuously prepared for that occurance.

#i dont fucking know #what to tag #this as #but im doing it anyways #because #i'm drunk #and don't give a shit #fight me

The demons in my wardrobe hoard my clothes. They seem to have given up on those three t-shirts and that one hoodie. I think I'll stick to wearing them. I don't want to wrangle anything more out of them. They seem to have a lot on. I want to be respectful of their space. It was my space at one point, sure, but it was entirely utilitarian and they seem to have taken it as a living space and in the great top trumps of life living outweighs utility or at least in my opinion. One of them is called Go'og. I don't know what it means but I respect the culture I'm presented with and wish to resolve their place in my world with earnest acceptance no matter how often they eat or burn my jackets.

#demons #my nonsense #rambles #wardrobe #damn fuckers keep sucking on my shirts

You ever think about where your place in the world is and the only image you can invision is yourself sat looking fancy and over-comfortable with a leg over the arm of a chesterfield in a sweet suit reading an old book and smoking a pipe. But you're also at the bottom of the ocean. And it's not a reef or somewhere full of life, it's the true open ocean. Just black tinged with blue enveloping the landscape for an unfathomable distance. King of the crustaceans. Except there's no crustaceans around because they're avoiding you. And the fish are also avoiding you. Gilled pricks. Oh, sure, you can't hack the depth. Grow a pair and swim deeper. What are you afraid of? Death? You can't even comprehend the concept you wet flannels. Tearductless crybabies. I never wanted your finny company in my sick ass domain anyway. I'm sound here, thanks! I've got the sand and the weird creeping brine layer. God it's salty and dense. I don't know why I have this book it's too dark to see and my lamps keep shorting. It's basically a block of damp pulp now, but, yknow how it is. It's mine and I've become attached. Pretty sure I inhaled the ink but that also could've been from that squid. But I see no squids here. There's no life here. Am I even alive? I assume so. So I think I consumed the words, theres a message in there somewhere, Im sure. This pipe is just a novelty bubbler too. I definately didn't bring it to use it as a method of enticement. I never wanted you to enquire into the source of the bubbles. Nah-ah. That's dumb. This suit is also really heavy, I had so many options for diving suits but the classics keep coming back and now I'm stuck with lead bricks on my feet and an 8 degree field of vision. Who throws a nice armchair like this into the ocean? What kind of moron? Like you scaley fuckers are going to properly utilise an object of such beauty and craftmanship like this. You're not interested unless it's an anchor or a ship or some shit. There's not even treasure or wrecks down here. I miss that crab. I miss its stern words. I haven't been spoken down to like that for so long and now I can't become aroused. I'm cold and I need to go so horrifically badly but I refuse to drown in my own piss again...

#ocean #my place #i miss the crab #it's lonely down here #deep #rambles #my nonsense

I was day-dreaming while making some tea and I thought about dolphins.

Not just dolphins, but, dolphins having existential problems. The thought lasted for what was probably much too long. I just thought about them becoming really, dangerously, self aware. The cosmos tearing through their minds. Abyssal and ineffable thoughts like sandpaper against their sanity. The affects started with them slowing down and swimming closer to the surface. Then they stopped clicking and whistling to eachother. Then they stopped swimming altogether and began to float, aimless. They would just float on their sides at the surface and stare up to the sky and blink very rarely. Eventually beaches started looking like fish markets with all these bodies strewn about. They, all of them, started washing themselves up and just laying there. They weren't dead or dying they were just there, immobile, on their sides with one eye in the sand the other to the sky. Thousands of them. It was like some apocalyptic event. People would come and watch as they inflated their sleek bodies and let it all out through their blowholes, day after day. They made metal gear like exclamation marks from channels where their sighs displaced the sand. Eventually they shrivelled from malnutrition. Slowly the sun started taking its toll. They all dried up. Time passed and people started to question why this happened. How could this happen? Those that used to watch them sigh came to lay with the sun bleached, wave scarred bones in some morbid attempt at understanding. Others then came to see the layers. Others joined the layers. They blistered from the salt and sun...

I had to re-boil the kettle.

#daydreams #dolphins #rambles #my nonsense

I find gifting notes in my old books absolutely fascinating. Who were these people? I can't imagine they had ever thought that anyone other than the reciever would ever see these, especially not a century (or at least a good few decades) later.

#old books #notes

My previous (and accomplished, might i add) five year plan went as follows:

Don't die.

My current five year plan (which is progressing well) is along the lines of:

Don't die.

On a similar note - my ten year plan is:

Don't die.

I'm a success and you are too. I'm proud of us. Let's press on.

#so proud #5 year plan #positivity #successful

Damn ghosts keep tryna eat my flesh at night. Stop it ya damn bad egg transparent shits. I'm just tryna sleep I'm not asking for much, I think it's a perfectly reasonable request. Boo off spookster. Go eat a fat ghost dick and leave me alone to my slumbyss fuckers. Your hands are too cold and It makes me uncomfortable. Nighttime is showtime and I'm the dreamy lead. Surround me with them sweet subconscious npcs and leave my soft bits alone you icecube toothed tits. I'm tired of you smelly chucklesters keeping me up with your moaning antics and that. You're unpleasant and I'm uncomfortable and I'm in bed. The comfiest of comfies. Stop ruining this.