‧˚♪ 𝄞₊ " Though I’m not too good with love, I will try to make sense of this crazy life "
☘︎ Ram / Pearl, He/him or she/her
☘︎ posting/drawing whatever i enjoy atm, but im all over the map. this is my main blog for actually posting my art/drawings. currently into ; OBWAT, my ocs, Jack O'Connell (spec. James Cook, Roy Goode, Remmick + currently watching more of his stuff...) , cowboys + westerns , and anything old-fashioned.
☘︎ warning that i heavily post about my ocs on here. I'm also prone to long winded posts about them.
☘︎ tag help ; #my art, #my ocs, #rams rambles, #weekly song, #my writing.
Now that we have more stuff for Dáire! Do you have an ending in mind where he does live? Like maybe when he survived the car blowing up (like how Ace did in Casino)? Or is he always bound to an early death? :-0
In all honesty I don't have any alternate ending where he lives, unless its in aus. which even then it feels odd to let him live. he's a man who double-crossed and fucked people over and worked for horrible people just to get to the top-- I can't see a life where he doesnt die. plus given how he's a low-life anyways, there wouldnt be any revenge ffor him either. and rlly the only aus i can see him surviving in is one ship au between me and an oomf, and maybe one au i have where he adopts a street kid and his yearning for love (realizing i should put love for him means even platonic familial/friendship love in this case. he is yearning so bad just to be loved in any form lmfao) makes him get some semblance of a right mind and he's able to get out. but even then it seems a bit ooc, but who cares he can survive in two aus lmfao i'll let him off the hook.
Your Dáire/Irish posting in general is making me think of one of my favorite movies…consider checking out The Banshees of Inisherin, it’s set on an island off the coast of Ireland during the Irish civil war, there’s some really interesting folklore stuff and some weird old man Yaoi tension, beautiful Irish scenery, and this sad sad man…I love you Pádraig…
def put this on my watchlist.... i looked it up and it seems down my alley!! i also love Colin Farrell. him and his beautiful caterpillar brows...
Is anyone elses tumblr on desktop just. Desaturing photos ? Or making them almost unable to see from how white they are or is this just another thing with my fucked up laptop
I GOTTA know more Abt Dárie...like for example what era does his story take place? I'm guessing 1930s perhaps but idk..he seems so awesome ram..
ok finally getting to this since i feel pretty sturdy on his lore now. putting a read more cuz this may be a bit...
going to copy and paste from his actual mini lore doc;
Dáire Ó Madaidhín was born in Ireland, in 1897 to an Irish family on the coastline. He was a very, very angry child, from his hatred of his parents– his father a tramp, and his mother a drunk from her hatred of her husband and their poor living situation. They lived on the edge of a seaside town, bankrupt and poor, living in a hobble of a home. Dáire spent most of his childhood days haggling and stealing from passer-bys, stealing from mens boats, fishing with worms, and trying to befriend the seals as he had no friends his age. Being so angry and scrappy, nobody wished him to be their companion, despite the numerous times he tried to make himself the center of attention and larger-than-life because of his lack of attention from his family. He also filled many of his days where he didn’t want to be caught outside disrupting people by his parents stowed away in the towns library. He became very, very knowledgeable on poetry and literature, from Homer to modern classics.
At 10 years old, his parents shipped him off to a boarding school from his horrid behaviour. Despite the predicament, he very much enjoyed his time there academically! He spent his days, once again, stowed away in the libraries the school had to offer, even weaseling himself in music classes. But from his dopey-ish face, and scrawny demeanor, he became a laughing stock for a lot of the boys. This kicked off his anger again, and this didn’t help with the fact he was rapidly going through puberty early and dealing with horrible growing pains-- and his growing self-hatred. He channeled that pain into hounding the boys who bugged him. He ended up going through many, many punishments from the school– i.e spankings (bare-handed, metre sticks, paddles, and even books), fasting, cleaning the communal bathrooms, cleaning the mess halls and bunks, having his bed moved to a storage closet away from the other boys (spec. From he way the nuns figured he was “too close” with certain boys), and often had to wear ‘dunce’ caps. Shortly after his 17th birthday, Dáire was expelled from the boarding school and promptly enlisted himself in the army. This was mainly to regain some semblance of self-control after being ruled over with an iron fist in the Catholic boarding school.
Dáire learnt very quickly that his fascination with other boys wasn’t just that. He had been punished by the nuns in his school for it, and the boys had teased him of it (before he promptly tried to beat them). Being around so many men his age and older overwhelmed him. He masked that overwhelm with acting above it, becoming his battalion’s hot-shot and resident “pretty boy”. He was annoying, and very pompous, but he was incredibly smart, and was an amazing driver. he was often driving the men out to their posts, and was one of the men having to peddle medical supplies from battalion to battalion. he grew good skills with automobiles from this, but during the height of the war when his battalion became more tense, he had to go back to being on the frontlines. with all that stress, he went to pleasure as a coping mechanism, seeking out other men on his battalion in secret. It was on a particular night where he was tucked away in a hangar with a boy he fancied more than anyone else. They were walked in on– foolish on Dáire’s part because he should've picked somewhere more hidden, but he liked the thrill of it. Later that week that same boy– white-hot with shame and anger, cornered Dáire and sliced him with a knife. The scar began at the base of Dáire’s skull, wrapping across his face and tucking under his chin.
With Dáire believing his good looks are one of his only redeeming features, this was a blow to him. That boy was discharged, and Dáire was too, as he was deemed ‘unfit’ to serve in the military– the captain had learnt of his homosexuality. Dáire took this to heart. While he knew he had to hide his homosexuality, now, he despised it. It made him seethe. He became almost oversaturated with how much he clung to women, trying to prove how he didn’t like men like that– but doing that made him even more angry. He became more of a show-off— more loud, boisterous, and rebellious. Often he fell to his follies and would get cozy with men in secret. As he often drank, he also would catch himself flirting in public, too, but as he constantly jokes and tries to get a rise out of many, it’s usually brushed off.
With the need to be overtly “masculine” and also having the need to be larger-than-life, Dáire went to New York to try and make a name for himself. This quickly backfired, as he got fired from many of his jobs for his loud mouth, and ended up working for Irish gangsters and mobsters, doing their dirty work that nobody else wanted to do. at first it was little things like driving some men around, collecting little debts from local stores, before alot of the criminals realized how easy he was to push to do things. In Dáire's mind, this is all just one step up the ladder he has to take to get to the top, but he's just getting used over and over again before his willingness is abused. he cannot say no when his bosses push him to do more severe jobs, i.e killing. after the war, he had no wish to get money that way, but now that he's been practically groomed into working for the criminals, he cannot bring himself to disobey. he's another cog in the crime syndicate, and he doesnt realize, too lost in his fantasy to be his own big boss. he is constantly doing these jobs for his bosses, being paid peasant wage, not even having the money to have his own home. In his mind even if hes not being paid, that's okay, because he'll be in his bosses favours soon!
Despite his out-going attitude, he’s not a natural extrovert. Really, he’s an introvert. He hates crowds and loud parties and people in general– but its all he knows. he puts on that facade to gain attention and in hopes to be more popular in the public eye. everyone but him acknowledges he is just a sad, pathetic man, unless Dáire is alone, which he wallows in himself. he is just barely scraping by. with this phony personality he has on, he has more and more stress added onto his already crippling depression and horrible self image.
his work for the criminals continues until he has strung himself too tight in the loops and twists of the criminal underground, finally overstepping on somebody else. just at the end of his story, he scrounges up enough money to buy himself a shitty little flat on the outskirts of Northside Williamsburg. he was so excited for it, with it having its own piano and being near the water. shortly after, he is killed by a rival gang leader planting a car bomb in his packard hearse.
athough this is ALL still a work in progress, as Dáire is just an old oc revamped, and I'm also working on it with two friends. we agreed to have three seperate stories, and have them intertwine partially (i.e my friends oc, whos in the Italian crime family, had brief relations with Dáire and in his own anger, sent some of his men to break Dáire's knees as a 'warning'). my other friends oc also served in Dáire's battalion with him, and comes to New York sometime after Dáire was discharged. this is all a work in progress, but Dáire has quicly become one of my alltime favourites.
♬⋆. " I ain't too concerned with my name
'Cause I know it won't be on my grave
But I ain't gonna hang my head down and cry
'Cause I know where I'm going when I die "
Ok sorry i’ve been meaning to post this since last month but i’ve been desperately trying to reread some of my poetry collection books i’ve had since i was fucking 13 and havent opened since. So heres some that remind me of in order Ernesto and Dusty :
The first just makes me ill. Definitely something regarding Ernesto after Dusty’s death.
Go the route, old scout, and be merry, for tomorrow you may die…… literally something dusty has said to Ernesto. Especially given Dusty’s life, you really dont ever know when you’ll die…. Lots of thoughts. I have more in-depth stuff abt this but my head is so jumbled i cant put it to paper (or phone ?)
FUCK man again you leave me wordless good lord. the D.H lawrence and Stevie Smith one specifically.... oh my lord i wish i had more words to say. 'i am glad, that my friends dont know what i think' like hello. hello. that is literally Dusty and Ernesto. all of these r so good what in the hell man
