Infertility Stories

A CNN initiative to raise awareness about infertility and push the conversation forward.

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Infertility affects approximately 10% of the population, but it isn't exactly a common topic of conversation. Many people struggle silently, and the problem can go on for years.

This is something that CNN "New Day" anchor Alisyn Camerota knows a lot about. She and her husband tried for almost three years to get pregnant, and she promised herself that if and when she came out on the other side, that she would talk about it as often as possible.

That's why, throughout the month of April, CNN has been collecting stories. During National Infertility Awareness Week, April 19-25, Camerota and CNN chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta spent some time on Facebook chatting about infertility with readers.

Click here to read more.

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Baby-making seems easy. There is a lot of education, even anxiety, around preventing unwanted pregnancy once we become sexually active. But many couples dealing with infertility would dispute the notion that getting pregnant is as simple as shelving birth control. Dr. Jamie Grifo, program director for NYU's Fertility Center, sees struggling couples in his clinic every day.

"Understanding how much infertility can impact your life can help you make better decisions about when you start and how you go about it," said Grifo.

To assist with that goal, click here for answers to five frequently asked questions on infertility: http://cnn.it/1DOQyD7

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I struggled with infertility for about two and a half or three years when I first got married, and I vowed if I ever was on the other side...I would talk about it as often as possible.

CNN’s Alisyn Camerota. More: http://on.fb.me/1bis4Iy

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Adoption, IVF, birth, death, donors...

We asked readers to share their stories during Nationaly Infertility Awareness Week. They opened up about their successes and failures, their tears and smiles.

Here are four personal pathways through infertility: http://cnn.it/1IBPMdX

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I enjoyed my wild, exciting life. CNN sent me all over the world on a moment's notice to cover fascinating things: a month in Antarctica where I got to build an igloo and rappel down glaciers, a tour of Iraq as an embedded journalist on the USS Abraham Lincoln, riding in an F-14 Tomcat during a combat training mission over the Persian Gulf. Things I couldn't do with a diaper bag over my shoulder.

Imagine my surprise, then, when the baby pangs arrived. A little late, and a little unfortunately timed as I was freshly divorced. I suddenly realized that I wanted something more in my life. So I did the most reasonable thing I could think of: I asked my closest gay friend for his sperm.

It hadn't occurred to me that fertility treatments don't always work or that I should have been doing something to prepare for this possibility sooner. Women whose eggs are older make embryos that are more likely to be chromosomally abnormal, and that can mean no pregnancy at all, miscarriage or birth defects.

So, what is a woman to do?

Click here to read more: http://cnn.it/1bkdOje

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This is my faith story. My heartache story. The story of God's grace and being really tested whether or not, no matter what happens, I can still praise God and love Him for who He is. This story began five years ago. I married a great man. We both loved the Lord and were excited about starting a family. We knew we wanted to wait until we had been married a least a year before "trying" because we imagined that we would have a houseful of rambunctious kids in no time. After all, he came from a family of seven kids. I came from a family of eight kids. It seemed like someone was always pregnant in one of our families so much so that we used to joke that different married couples only had to wash their underwear together in a load of laundry and whoops, they were expecting again. So after a year, we eagerly began the fun of "trying". Nothing happened. Months passed. Still nothing. We read books, talked to our family doctor. Still nothing. Finally, in my heart of hearts, I just knew something was amiss. In fact, I had a premonition long before then. And it turned out, I was right. Our doctor confirmed that, due to medical complications, it would be extremely difficult for us to have biological children. At least, unless we wanted to try the various methods of in vitro fertilization or insemination. My world turned gray that day...the greatest longing of my heart was for motherhood. I had been changing diapers and snuggling babies since I was in the third grade. Of all the prayers of my heart, how could God deny me this? The more we researched IVF and other fertility methods, the more we felt we were not meant to go down that path. We did try a couple of medical procedures we knew did not have as great a chance of success but felt like plunking down $12,000 for a maybe and the moral dilemma of leftover embryos was not a direction we were willing to go. 

Click here to read more: http://cnn.it/1Oxk6Il

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I sat in our living room during a power outage and listened to Tara tell her sister Becky the tale of our infertility. I could see Becky’s concerned face on the other side of the sectional couch at the edge of the light thrown out from a small camp lantern on the coffee table, but I found it more comfortable to stare at my feet while Tara explained that my sperm lack the protein necessary to penetrate the egg. Becky was one of the first people we shared our situation with and I was still a little embarrassed about the details which we had only recently gotten closure on after a year of failed attempts at conception and several months of doctor visits and tests. It is impossible, or at least statistically unlikely, for me to naturally father a child. The primordial basis for my existence is nonexistent. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised—I was never one for the ape-like assertions of male dominance or cat calls, and perhaps the inability to get a sperm into an egg is indicative of my complete and utter ineptitude at basketball. Damn you, Darwin. Fortunately, society has advanced from chest thumping and there is a procedure called Invitro Fertilization (IVF) with Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) for men like me, where IVF removes the entire opposing field from the court and ICSI is Michael Jordan whom I pass the ball to and puts it into the hoop in an amazing slam dunk all while wearing comfortable, tag-less underwear. As I proofread that last passage, it occurs to me that the literalist may assume Michael Joran will be fathering our child. No. MJ, in this case, is a sort of syringe capable of grabbing a single sperm from a petri dish and injecting it into a single egg in a new petri dish. As Tara completed our story and Becky gently berated us for not telling her sooner, it occurred to us that she did have a point. And in the weeks that followed, as we shared with more of our family and close friends, we realized that nothing but positive things came from it. On one level, it allowed us to reconnect with those dear to us whom we kept our struggle secret from for so long. But on a much bigger scale, it allowed us to connect with others that were also silently enduring and share laughs, hugs, and tears.

Click here to read more: http://cnn.it/1PXRziE

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Sofia Vergara and her ex-fiancee are fighting over the fate of embryos they froze together: http://cnn.it/1HdQ0ck

Part of what's at issue is that some people believe that life begins with the embryo. We discussed the legalities of it on New Day.

What's your take on this issue? Here's a piece about a couple who had to decide what to do with their leftover embryos: http://cnn.it/OWvrKe

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Our infertility story includes IVF, international adoption, domestic adoption, birth, death, and even a donor. On our journey we experienced joy, heartache, excitement and anticipation and we wouldn’t trade a minute of it, because those experiences made us who we are today and created one beautiful family.

IVF #1 When we decided to start our family, we tried the good ol’ fashioned way. After about a year of trying to conceive naturally, we decided to seek-out the help of a fertility doctor. After some blush-worthy questions and some embarrassing appointments, we decided to undergo a round of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

In September of 2008 it was time to start our long-awaited IVF cycle and get pregnant. I’m not certain we 100% understood what an IVF cycle entailed, but we undoubtedly got a crash course. Multiple daily injections, large fees, and more doctor’s appointments than we had ever been to in probably our entire lives all added up. It was all going to be worth it when we were pregnant, but it was an emotional, physical, and financial strain.

Hearing we weren’t pregnancy is sort of a blur, but we remember being absolutely heartbroken our cycle had not worked. Somewhere in the conversation our fertility doctor said we could try again with another round of IVF, but a possibility for the infertility was “bad eggs.”

Our Adoption Journey The next 2 years of our life involved the expensive and timely process of preparing a dossier for an international adoption. A year and a half while still waiting, our adoption agent notified us of a local young lady who would be placing her baby for adoption. It was the answer to our prayers.

We were regularly engaged with our birth mother and Amy accompanied her to her pre-natal appointments. Unfortunately, the pain we felt in our fertility doctor’s office was soon to be relived. In July of 2010, Amy went in with our birth mother for a regularly scheduled sonogram and there was no baby, she had miscarried. We were heartbroken again.

With the failed IVF cycle, international adoption still in limbo, and failed private domestic adoption, our dream of starting our family and becoming parents started to seem hopeless.

IVF #2 It was time for Amy’s annual check-up with her OB/GYN. She called to make an appointment and was informed her doctor didn’t have any availability soon, but they had a new doctor in the practice who had availability. Little did we know, that appointment with Dr. Marcia Taylor was going to change our lives.

During the appointment, Amy mentioned she wouldn’t need birth control because we were still in the process of the international adoption and based on the last IVF cycle we were told she might have “bad eggs.” Dr. Taylor recommended getting a second opinion.

When Amy got in her car to leave the doctor’s appointment, she got on Facebook and noticed one of her friends had just posted a sonogram picture of her twins. At the top of the sonogram picture it said, “Dallas IVF.” She messaged her friend and asked her about her doctor and her experience.

We discussed setting up an appointment with her friend’s doctor and decided, “what do we have to lose?” During our next few appointments, Dr. Brian Barnett ran some tests, reviewed our history and previous IVF cycle. There were some things he said he’d do different, thought we were good candidates for IVF, and ultimately said he’d love to give us another shot at a biological child.

We couldn’t believe we were about to open ourselves up to this level of vulnerability again, but we were eager for the opportunity and we had complete faith in Dr. Barnett and his team. With financial help from our family, we started another round of IVF.

Click here to read more: http://cnn.it/1ajlsJ6

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Sofia Vergara’s former fiancee has filed a lawsuit in California to prevent the “Modern Family” actress from destroying embryos that they had frozen together, citing legal and religious objections.

This story brings up what has become a contentious debate: if you’ve frozen your embryos, what should you do when you don’t want to use them? Dispose or donate?

Read this interesting piece about how one couple decided what to do with two extra embryos: http://cnn.it/OWvrKe

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5 myths about getting pregnant: http://cnn.it/1DrAxUO

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'I do yoga and exercise. I'm in great shape. Age won't affect my fertility.'

What do you think – true or false? http://cnn.it/1gP410e

This month, CNN is taking a closer look at infertility. Have you or someone you know ever been affected? If so, contribute to our #InfertilityStories iReport assignment: http://cnn.it/1NFeaOV

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“CNN PRODUCER NOTE: IFMama says, ‘Infertility is such an unspoken disease - people feel shame and hide it. I did too at first, until I met the women in my ‘support group’ and they made me realize I wasn't alone. It's such a terrifying and lonely experience - but it doesn't have to be so hush hush anymore.’

- Ashley Strickland, CNN producer”

I'll never forget the day I received a phone call from my OBGYN, telling me as I walked down 6th Avenue, that I may not be able to have kids. I was 18, a freshman in college, and nowhere close to starting a family. But that call stuck with me; I knew getting pregnant would be a challenge down the road. Suffering from Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, I had to be on birth control in order to have regular periods. After getting married, my husband and I decided to start trying. I was hesitant, scared I would never be able to give my husband the one thing he wanted most. That fear overwhelmed me at times. Little did I know the true overwhelming fear and sadness we were about to embark on.

So in January of 2012, I started my first cycle on clomid. Nervous, scared, and having no one to turn to (my family and best friend would listen, but it wasn't the same), I leaned on Dr. Google for support. Dr. Google told me my risks, my chances, and then I stumbled upon anecdotals. I landed on an infertility message board for women local to me. I stayed up all hours, reading their stories, following screen names through time to see their struggles and successes.

After 3 failed cycles with clomid and timed intercourse, I made the leap and called an RE. At that point, I had begun to be acquainted with the infertility abbreviations - RE (reproductive endocrinologist), SA (semen analysis), DPO (days past ovulation), etc. etc. that's when I started posting my story online, as well. The anonymity of the Internet made me feel brave.

Continue reading: http://cnn.it/1EF31eN

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Some people think the amount of coffee they drink won’t affect whether they can get pregnant, but that’s a myth. Caffeine can actually decrease fertility, so if you’re trying to have a baby, you might want to consider cutting back. More details about this and other fertility myths: http://cnn.it/1gP410e

Have you experienced infertility? Share your story with others on the CNN iReport assignment: http://cnn.it/1NFeaOV

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Do you know a woman who has gotten pregnant using in vitro fertilization?

It’s becoming more and more common – about 2,000 more IVF babies were born in 2012 than 2011. http://cnn.it/1fdrQRC

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“CNN PRODUCER NOTE: jbopp30 says "I want people to know that infertility does not just affect older people who delay getting pregnant until later in life for whatever reason. My husband and I were both 26 when we started trying to conceive, diagnosed at 27, and just turned 28 at the end of March." 

Her advice for others: 

1) Don't be ashamed and don't EVER blame yourself/your partner. 

2) Focus on you and your husband. 

3) It's okay to be scared, sad, angry, jealous, bitter, etc. but don't live in those moments for an extended period of time. 

- Ashley Strickland, CNN producer”

But I have time...at least that's what everyone tells you when you are young and dealing with infertility.

Well, I'll tell you what I want to tell everyone else. Infertility sucks. Many people don't understand that it is a life crisis. It's something that can't be "cured" by relaxing, taking a vacation, etc. Instead infertility is: heartbreaking, tiring, emotionally draining, isolating, physically and mentally painful, expensive, all-consuming, unfair, invasive, defeating, life-changing, helpless, and the list goes on.

Believe me, I've tried (you fill in the blank). If a theory exists somewhere on the internet on how to increase your chances of getting pregnant, you can bet I've tried it. I've tried: acupuncture, diets, herbal tea, Chinese herbs, vitamins, putting my feet in the air after sex, taking a "babymoon", menstrual cups, and so many more. Plus, I still take my basal body temperature (BBT) upon waking every morning and use ovulation predictor kits (OPKs). And yet, here I am, still not pregnant.

Continue reading: http://cnn.it/1zcjIIl

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Infertility: Why don't more people talk about it?

Robyn Cohen recently went public with her eight-year struggle with infertility and said putting her story on the Huffington Post was like “standing naked in front of the public.”

Approximately 12 in every 100 women has received infertility services, so why doesn’t anyone talk about it? CNN’s Kelly Wallace talks with Cohen and other women who have broken their silence: http://cnn.it/1DrAxUO #InfertilityStories