#niaw

[starsrosesglitters]

[0nein8]

Unless you’ve walked this path...

You really don’t know. 

It’s a common (and personal) to ask, “So are you guys trying to have a baby?” or “When are you going to have kids?” or maybe even subtle hints about how you’ve been married “for a while” and it’s time to have kids. 

This conversation can go in two ways. Fertility is such a private matter, that most people won’t say they’re having difficulty conceiving. Or what I’ve done is actually respond and say, “we’ve been trying, we have some fertility issues.” Then it just becomes this awkward conversation because the person asking wasn’t expecting this answer. Then THEY try to backtrack and say something to make THEMSELVES feel better.

Like, “Oh it’ll happen. Just try to relax.” People never mean anything malicious by comments, but it just becomes an awkward dance... especially when they say “you can always adopt!” as a knee-jerk comment. Little do people know that adoption can cost more than an IVF cycle with the application & legal process.

I don’t think people know that asking such a simple question can be so personal. You never know if you’re asking someone who is having fertility issues or worse— going through a miscarriage or just miscarried.

It also has to be acknowledged that you don’t know the fertility status of women. A woman trying to conceive can be as relaxed and free of stress; but if she has underlying issues such as PCOS, endometriosis, diminished ovarian reserve... relaxing isn’t going to get her pregnant.

I am the biggest advocate for family planning and birth control. But it has to be said that being on hormonal birth control can mask a lot of underlying issues women have and don’t know until they start trying to conceive. You just won’t know until you get there.

[thehumanbeing2020]

I was just scrolling through Netflix and saw this

I’m gonna watch this in the morning lol

UPDATE: this movie had me pissed half way through 😭😭😭 but I was partially pleased with the ending

[marriedandttc]

One of the themes for this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week is Infertility Uncovered - an opportunity to speak about the realities of infertility, raise awareness, and shed an overwhelming stigma.

So, here’s Our Story

💕

Stephen and I began trying to expand our beautiful little family in January 2015. I had previously been on Depo-Provera for two years, which has a reputation for taking a while to leave the body. Because of this, we assumed it would take about a year! Six months to wear off and up to six months to conceive, a pretty average time frame.

Except... after a year nothing happened, even though my body regulated quicker post-birth control than we expected.

In January 2016 (22 & 25) we made our first appointment to get help. That discussion with my primary care physician left us literally laughed out of the exam room with messages of, “You’re too young.” “Just relax.” “You are trying too hard.”

I was absolutely gutted but we took comfort in the fact that the doctor was not concerned. They’re the ones that spend years of post-education doing this, not us.

In June 2016 (22 & 25) we had been trying for 18 months (well past the one year required for an infertility diagnosis). I made a second appointment, this time with an OB/GYN! Unfortunately, this experience went similarly.

The doctor insisted that we were too young to be having problems and it would magically happened if I suddenly quit worrying. They shoved an unnecessary Pap Smear on me and sent me away.

In October 2016 (23 & 26) I was prepared to try again, 22 cycles in. I made an appointment with a second OB/GYN at the same office we previously used. At this appointment I came armed with a notebook containing a year of cycle notes, OPK tests, intercourse tracking, and symptom spotting. I was determined for someone to see the problem that was so blatantly obvious to me.

This appointment brought the most infuriating response yet. The doctor barely took note of the information I provided and simply told us, point blank, “You are the last appointment of the day and I’m running late for a family dinner so I’m going to make this brief. You are too young to be worried about this. The birth control you were on can take years to expire (even though the proof it already had was in her hands). I could run some tests and send you to a specialist in Sioux Falls but they’re too expensive for you, and it will take lots of time. You will walk in here pregnant by Christmas.”

There was no time for discussion, consideration, or compassion. We were dismissed with blatant disrespect so she could get to her family dinner.

It was at this point I knew we had been failed by the medical community.

We had nearly doubled the amount of time required to pass before we were entitled to testing and treatment. I had done everything I could from home and it wasn’t working. We needed help and took every necessary step to begin - but we kept getting turned away based on our age and assumed financial status as newlyweds.

My spirit was shattered and I gave up on ever receiving infertility testing, let alone treatment.

In February 2017 (23 & 26) a friend pushed me to try one more time. I was hesitant and dreaded the appointment but figured it was time to try being 26 cycles in.

This time we went to not only a new doctor but a new office entirely - and that’s when everything changed. Dr. E walked into the room and asked us to explain why we were there today. I sucked in a large breath of air determined to spit out over two years of tracking and information to plead our case before he could cut us off. I was red in the face, breathless, and overwhelmed when when he kindly said, “Something here is not right. I’m prepared to help you as soon as you are ready to get started.”

I could hardly wrap my head around the words coming out of his mouth.

Unfortunately, this is when we ran into our second type of stigma.

Being an overweight woman.

Since I had never confirmed I truly ovulated after a positive OPK we began by doing hormone panels. The doctor thought they were fine but perhaps I wasn’t ovulating properly. We put my body through four months of Clomid and one month of Femara with ultrasound monitoring and timed intercourse in an attempt to get pregnant.

During this treatment there was no consideration given to my husband, I was the one being prodded, poked, and pestered at every turn. It was worth it in the search for answers.

In July 2017 (23 & 26) a full 32 cycles into trying to start our family we finally went into a full fertility workup. Both Stephen and I did two pages full of tests to dig deeper into what was happening - and our worlds were turned upside down overnight.

The results of my tests came back within normal ranges as expected, but the same could not be said for my husband. What we saw was a severe case of male factor infertility.

With these results we immediately got transferred to a reproductive endocrinologist 200 miles away.

The following month we would have our intake appointment where Dr. M let us know the only option for treatment is IVF (an advanced reproductive technology). Unfortunately, we were remarkably far away from the parameters for IUI.

One cycle of IVF runs anywhere from $14,000 - $20,000+ out of pocket because our insurance offers zero coverage.

This is the financial restrictions everyone believed we couldn’t overcome.

But in September of 2017 (24 & 27) after 33 cycles of trying to have children we went through our first cycle of IVF. We had 21 eggs, 16 embryos, and on transfer day had one early stage blastocyst and one morula to transfer. While these results were disappointing we held onto hope.

Eight days after our transfer we found out that the results were negative and our first IVF cycle was a failure.

Over the next year we fundraised, entered grants/scholarships, and invested every extra cent we had into paying off our failed loan.

Thankfully we were able to undergo our second round of IVF in February 2019 (25 & 28). This time we collected 14 eggs, had 5 embryos, and on transfer day had two morulas to place.

Again, the results were far from what we wanted but hope prevailed. Eight days after our transfer we found out it was another failure.

Today we are 52 months and over $37,000 into trying to conceive.

Despite the hurdles we have dealt and the inevitable struggles that come with it we are proud of the foundation we are building and the expanded family that will surely follow.

A lot of people think that infertility is a state of mind - we need to stop thinking we are infertile and instead focus on being fertile.

But I disagree.

I believe in acceptance of infertility. It’s not a dirty, bad, or negative word. It’s the reality of what we have been going through. It’s a word that reflects endurance, strength, and durability. Infertile people can be parents - we are capable, and we WILL.

It’s not a matter of if, but when.

And that’s totally okay.

#InfertilityUncovered #NIAW #NationalInfertilityAwarenessWeek RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association

[ashleyjay3]

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week here is your reminder to never ask a couple when they are going to have kids. You never know how hard they are trying. Infertility is shooting up hormones in the parking lot of a @taylorswift concert. Infertility is a positive pregnancy test that only last 2 days. Infertility is your husband having to give you 1.5 inch needle injections in your butt everyday for 4 weeks and then for 10. Infertility is 3 surgeries in 4 months. Infertility is feeling hopeless and wondering if you will ever be able to start a family. Infertility is also being able to see your future son as a 5 day old embryo. How cool is that?!

[komorrebii]

[weretrying]

Fruitful is Live!

Tumblr TTC friends!!! I have some exciting news...as some of you know, my husband and I have been TTC for over almost three years now and are now finally gearing up for our first FET! Phew! 

As I start to prepare for this big day, I’m also excited about a new project I just launched this week called Fruitful Fertility.

Fruitful is a free mentorship matching service that connects those in need of emotional support as they begin their fertility journey with individuals who have been through it firsthand and are now on “the other side.” It is a one-to-one mentorship program and will hopefully provide a lot of comfort, support and understanding to those who are starting to navigate this messy world. 

Anyway, if you’re interested in either becoming a mentor or finding a mentor, please sign up on the website. Right now I’m looking to beef up our registry with kickass mentors and mentees so I can best match people according to their experiences, diagnoses, interests and values. It’s really a great way to turn your heartache into something meaningful.

 Or if you don’t want to sign up, you can follow along on Instagram (@fruitful_fertility) or Twitter (@fruitfulfert). Thanks so much for your support; we’re all in this together!

[stellawitchcraft]

Shame and Silence: Why We Don't Talk About Infertility & Miscarriage

The shame, silence, and stigma surrounding infertility and miscarriage is strong. Why? Here are 6 causes of that silence and how we can break through.

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week. My husband and I have been trying for over four years now. Sometimes it’s okay, but other times like past few months it hits me very deeply and I sink into bad depression about it. If you’re struggling with infertility, I see you <3 The biggest thing in my spiritual life right now is self-love. I have to remind myself daily that I’m not a failure and I’m not broken, and that I have self-worth and value whether or not I am a mother. Even though being a mother is what I want more than anything else.