Misplaced Lens Cap

pixel skylines
dirt enthusiast
Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
hello vonnie
d e v o n
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
styofa doing anything
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
occasionally subtle

shark vs the universe
Peter Solarz

★

Discoholic 🪩

roma★
🪼
KIROKAZE
trying on a metaphor

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@infiniteinvincibility
Why seriously tell people to kill themselves when ‘deactivate your account’ is 1000x funnier and 1000x less shitty?
unplug your controller dawg
forfeit my buddy
concede dude
Call your ISP and tell them you’ve had enough.
Now that we have these fantastic alternatives I don’t wanna see anyone telling people to kill themselves anymore.
me standing inside a bank screaming: MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE MOTHERLODE
Reenactor throws a spear at a drone
What a time to be alive.
“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.
The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.
Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)
I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it
just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone
Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll
I crack up every time at seeing that runestone.
Instead of endless wastelands of mowed grass lawns, consider:
this only works in places with lots of rain, a temperate summer, and a nice cold winter. like England. or Michigan.
True! Unless you can find an economical way to irrigate, more appropriate lawn alternatives in hotter, more arid places might lean more to prairie meadows using local grasses and wildflowers:
Or, they might mean doing classic landscaping, but with rocks and xeriscape plants:
Or having a cactus garden:
There are lots of exciting possibilities once you throw the classic turf lawn out the window!
kill ceasar
This is why I strongly advocate for an alien invasion movie but set in like 1142. The Anarchy is in full swing.
it’d be so good. Everyone would map theological explanations of the aliens onto them. It’d be so much fun.
Aliens: Take us to your leader. Jocelyn, Peasant: All right. Um, which one? Are you for King Stephen or the Empress Maude? Aliens: Um– Jocelyn: I recommend Empress Maude. King Stephen is a lying usurper. Aliens: All right, Empress Maude. Take us to her. Jocelyn: I always new God was on our side. Aliens: Jocelyn: You’re angels right? Come to bring us portends and tidings of the divine? Aliens: Or to massacre you. Jocelyn: That makes sense. We’re very sinful. We deserve whatever punishment it is God has seen fit to bestow upon us. Aliens: Aliens: Aliens: Wow.
Everyone talks about how Jesus drove the money changers and merchants out of the temple, but everyone glosses over the fact that he took the time to braid a whip. That would have taken a couple hours. I have braided leather before, and it takes a lot of time and effort. It may have even taken more than one day, all scripture says is, “And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple-“ there isn’t a time period given. But I would still say it was at least a few hours. he had to braid multiple cords, bind them together, make a handle, and fix the cords to the handle.
The point of this is that what he did was NOT impulsive. It was cold and calculated. Premeditated even.
I’m sorry I know this is a really great insight but all I can think of is Jesus sitting there making His whip and the apostles shuffling around nervously wondering who’s about to get it
John glaring at Simon like “the fuck did you do this time?”
Simon’s like “me?? I didn’t do anything!”
Meanwhile, Judas is like
Here’s the thing, up to this point, he hadn’t really had violent outbursts before. He’d been weirdly distant and cold sometimes, but overall you could chalk that up to the general weirdness of being an instrument of the divine. But he did have a reputation for just noping the fuck out when he wanted some space. So instead, imagine them looking for him for hours or days, combing the city, wondering if he’d said something too prophet-y at a Roman and got himself arrested. And then he shows up with a handmade cat-o’-nine-tails, says “lads, follow me, I’m about to start some shit,” and he starts marching back into downtown.
Now here’s the thing. There were in fact loads of “messiahs” wandering around Israel at that time. Israel was chafing under Roman rule, and cults and extremists are easy to organize when people are desperate. (This is ultimately why the Pharisees were always so wary of him, because they’d met three other messiahs this week alone, and questioning such claims was literally their job.) There were multiple resistors and militias organized to oppose Roman rule, and there’s evidence to suggest that several of the disciples were members of such groups. It’s been posited by some Biblical scholars that Judas’ betrayal was an attempt to force Jesus into a more aggressive posture, to make Jesus become a leader in the rebellion and a more literal “King of the Jews.” (It’s also suggested that Judas didn’t really exist at all, and his betrayal was symbolically added later as a metaphor for the perceived “betrayal” of Jesus by Judea, aka yet another way for Christianity to demonize the Jewish people. The betrayal story doesn’t appear in several of the earliest copies of the gospel texts.) My point with all that is, Jesus shows up with a whip looking ready to start a riot, and there were bound to be at least some of the disciples eager to get started. Cheering him on, getting improvised weapons themselves, ready to throw the fuck down. And then he starts beating people up in the temple, and they’re just like wtf man, the Romans are over that way.
Because that’s the other thing, the money changers were supposed to be there. The temple was a pilgrimage site for Jews all over the Roman world. The money changers were there in the outer court as a service to the pilgrims, to change foreign currencies into the local currency so people could do things like pay tithes at the temple, or buy sacrificial animals, since you couldn’t bring a fucking sheep with you all the way from Spain or wherever. They were there with the permission of the rabbis specifically because it was an important service to offer pilgrims. And then Jesus decides that money changing in the temple is a problem, and one he should solve with violence.
It’s an absolutely wild story given the historical context, and Jesus is not really the good guy in it.
25 Pictures of Tiny Animals Who Are Filled With Rage
A d o r a b l e
Stunning gardens
They look so content. (via thedocholliday)
…I would read the hell out of a series of a chosen eighty-five-year-old woman who goes on epic journeys throughout a dangerous and magical land, armed only with a cane and her stab-tastic knitting needles, accompanied by her six cats and a skittish-yet-devoted orderly who makes sure she takes her pills on time.
Battle Granny Gertrude with Phillip and co.
I’d read the fuck outs this
this looks like the Lawful Good counterpart to Yzma and Kronk
I’m amazed there’s not a Pratchett novel about this exact thing.
What an adorable start to a murder
i would never work as a gothic heroine which is a shame because i’ve got the looks for it but the firm presence of mind to gtfo from anything unpleasant
The Phantom: I have heard you sing. I have heard you, my child. I am the A—
me as Christine Daaé: [under my breath as I gather my things hurriedly] Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name
rogue master of the manor: [begins making flirtatious veiled threats towards me]
me, a poor governess: [immediately makes plans to get a different job]
ruined aristocrat who has a dark reputation spoken about only in whispers: May we speak alone for a moment?
me, Aware of things: No thank you, we’ve only just met. My aunt is my chaperone and a lovely conversationalist. Please do come and discuss her seventeen dogs
dark brooding guardian: [makes borderline asinine comments about my blossoming beauty]
me, packing my bags: Time for finishing school!
passionate possessive lover: You shall be mine! [yanks on my arm]
me: [immediately lays down heavily like a corpse]
passionate possessive lover: I am very strong, I can still ca—stop it with the noodle arms!!
me: [slunks down further]
he keeps trying to grab my waist but everytime he leans over me my enormous hat knocks him right in the jaw
he keeps struggling to pull me up but he steps on my dress every two seconds
he lifts my arms over my head and tries to jiggle me into sitting up on my knees but i just looked like a squashed horse stuffed into a dress like :p
he tries to take me by my leg but i just flop back down and my petticoats are silk and therefore very slippery
eventually he gets fed up and calls a stableboy over and the stableboy tries to take me up by my head, yanking at me at the neck, and then my passionate possessive lover is like “no you little idiot! here take one of her feet” and dashes over to take me by the arms but as he leans over my enormous hat knocks him in the jaw
they’re trying to slowly drag me over to his carriage but all of the townspeople have stepped out of their houses and shops
people are slowly looking out of their carriages like “what the fuck?”
meanwhile the stableboy has his grip on my leg and the passionate possessive lover is carrying me by my arms like a ragdoll with his head thrown back so he doesn’t get knocked in the jaw again by my enormous hat and my derrière is skidding against the dirt making a lady-shaped line from one end of the street to the next
“Kidnapping. This is literally kidnapping.”
“Well, yes, but… yes.”
“Someone should do something, right?”
“Oh, only if they manage to actually get her in the carriage. I want to see how long it takes for him to give up.”
“Really?”
“Son, she could decapitate him with that hat.”
“How do you know?”
“That’s what happened to the last ass who actually got her in the carriage.”
“This is not very elegant,” my possessive ex-lover pants. With his head tilted back, I can’t see his face, but I can see the bead of sweat rolling its way down his jaw.
“If you sweat on me,” I say. pointing my toe so that my foot runs the risk of slipping out of the shoe the stable boy is clinging to, “I’ll use the hat.”
My possessive ex-lover swears and digs his nails into my arm when my derriere catches on a cobblestone. “Aren’t you already using the hat?”
A boy standing just outside his front door, close enough to have heard my threat, whoops. “She says she’s going to use the hat!”
The ensuing cheer from our onlookers puts the first hint of unease in my ex-lover’s eyes.
Rural Boys Watch The Apocalypse (rough draft) by Keaton St. James