there's something I've been thinking about recently, and tonight seems like a good enough occasion to talk about it
back when I was in therapy, every session my therapist would ask the same question
"What is something you're looking forward to this week"
The first time she asked that, I just figured it was a part of getting to know me as a new patient. Building rapport and trust and such.
But when she repeated it every time I spoke to her, it made me wonder why she'd ask that specific question every time
Well, after thinking it over for a while, I think the reason she asked that is because it's really important to have something to look forward to regularly in life. Even if it's something small, as long as it's something you can find a little joy in
See, nearly every time she asked me that, my answer would be that I was looking forward to my weekly DND game. It wasn't something too grand, just me and a few others messing around for 2 hours on roll20. But I felt happy when DMing for them, it wasn't much, but it still something that brought a little bit of fun every week
I feel like that's a critical part about staying alive on the day to day. Your life doesn't have to be filled with every day excitement like you're living a wealthy influencer lifestyle in order for you to carve out a bit of happiness for yourself
Like I said, it can be something small. Maybe it's DND games, maybe it's seeing the new episode of a show you like air, maybe once a week you let yourself order a pizza or eat out, maybe you and some friends get together to a watch a movie. Could even be that you just set aside a few hours where you can do something you like, literally anything as long as it brings you some enjoyment. Just a bit of time when you don't have to be productive and working and worrying about everything
I know the idea of doing something just for yourself can feel selfish, like you're wasting precious time. Especially with everything that's going on in the world, it can make you feel guilty for letting yourself find joy when some many others are suffering and in danger
Take it from someone who spent the latter half of their schooling dealing with dysthymia, self harm, and constant panic and anxiety attacks. Feeling nothing but misery 24/7/365 will help nothing. Depriving yourself of any positive emotion day in and out will fix nothing. All it will do is land you in either the grave or a mental hospital, and you certainly won't be able to help anyone from either of those places
If you want to help others, you'll have to be able to support yourself first. And that means not letting the stress of being alive build up to the point of crushing you under its weight. Take an hour or two every few days to let yourself truly breathe and relax. Think of it as fortifying your self for what's to come. You'll need some way to maintain your strength through the storm if you ever want to see the other side of it
I'm not saying to ignore the bad parts of life, just don't ignore the good parts either. Even if you have to make those good parts with your own hands
Eventually, the world will get better. But that will take time, so you will need to work to ensure you are around long enough to see it
This week, I'm looking forward to the new Dandadan episode, and going to get my new dog his name tag
This month, I'm looking forward to making Thanksgiving dinner and getting to have some turkey and pumpkin pie
Next year, I'm looking forward to starting a project that I've been thinking about for months
What is something you are looking forward to?
you don't gotta tell me it if you don't want to, just make sure you have one
