Daily Streams of Consciousness

[innermonolog]

i made a newsletter

if you’d like to follow the evolution of these streams of consciousness, you can find it here. I post daily

http://innermonolog.substack.com/

[innermonolog]

what is inner monolog? - 11.21.19 stream of consciousness

alright so what is inner monolog? it's a chance to peek into my mind. see less fleshed out thoughts and ideas. i'm starting this newsletter as an evolution of my tumblr and medium posts. those were raw, unfiltered streams of consciousness. what I want to do here is polish that rawness a bit. like getting a medium rare steak. my philosophy is rawness as authenticity. raw, unfiltered thoughts are your most authentic self. rawness is authenticity. so there's that. I also want to get better at thinking. i want to have higher quality thoughts. and really writing and thinking aren't that different. thinking will help you write, and writing will help yo think. i'm trying to create out in the open. and utilize the internet as the bicycle of the mind. when i connect with others and continue synthesizing my ideas, i'm tapping into the greater collective consciousness. and what is the point of humanity? what's our goal here? the goal is to reach a higher consciousness. like the AIs that collaborate in the movie Her. we have the internet at our fingertips. we have each other at our fingertips. we can communicate ideas at high bandwidth and evolve them and get smarter together that way, like a computer would. this is the only way we can attempt to compete with AI. this is what the internet is made for. so if you want to synthesize ideas at a high bandwidth and take advantage of the collective consciousness of the internet and be prolific in your creativity or the way you're thinking, join my discord. and if you just want to see what it looks like in practice, subscribe to my newsletter. 

“we create so much that we're flustered.  we output all that we muster"  - gppls daily 121

https://soundcloud.com/geoppls/gundam-gppls-daily-121

[innermonolog]

searching for my digital home - 11.2.19 stream of cons.

I'm realizing how disconnected to people I am. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just I haven't found my people to be communicating with day to day.

to be fair, I'm in a few channels that are active such as Winternomics twitter discord and Futureland, but neither one of those are particularly intimate. 

Winternomics discord has hundreds of people in it all with their own clicks within it. and Futureland is all about people posting their output, there's no real place for conversation about psychology, tech, learning, neuroscience, etc. when I say there's no place I mean...like I can have great convos in there and i will continue to pose interesting questions there to have those convos, and I can hut up vin any time. it is also more intimate than Winternomics discord. 

i wonder if this can be the place I lurk and shoot the shit. then there's twitter. I go there to interact with people and learn things daily. so i don't necessarily need a group chat. I just want a place where I can shoot the shit and post random things that might not be of value but maybe we can have a subtle convo about. I want a place where I can be on voice with a few people throughout the work day. 

I want a place I can shoot the shit with people who are like-minded. I may have to create that place. should that place be a discord server or just a group text? something in-between?

[innermonolog]

mindful notifications - 10.31.19 stream of cons.

there are 3 kinds of notifications, 2 of which matter for this discussion. 1 being just a message continuing a conversation, 2 is the content abyss notifications. these are the FBs of the world and other apps who are just vying for your attention to waste your time. Screaming hey this content exists and you HAVE to consume it otherwise you wont' be informed!!! This is the reason why people silence their phones, because it's just a distraction. But there's a 3rd notification that is also vying for your attention, but in a way that makes you better: less anxious, more healthy, more mindful. Notifications like the Nike Run club app saying every run has a purpose, go out there and find meaning in every mile. that's powerful! or the oak meditation app reminding you the benefits of spending 10 minutes doing nothing. or a contacts app that says hey x person's birthday is coming up, looks like y'all haven’t talked in a while. maybe it's time to reconnect. strengthening relationships. more and more apps like this will come up and this is how we further push apps and our notification screen to help us become better

[innermonolog]

finding value in worthless content - stream of cons. 10.8.19

I keep trying not to write lyrics when I'm making these gppls daily songs. that leads me to neglecting good material in previous freestyles unless I can remember it. but that's also how rappers like jay z and lil wayne purport to write. only in their heads. they supposedly don't write anything down. I should do more research on this. it's funny because I've cut out a lot of media and articles from my daily consumption, and I have this repellant feeling towards the articles/videos I'm talking about watching. it's pure bullshit. like it has no value. or at least I feel like shows like phillip defranco show are pointless. they don't add to the collective thought and don't help us level up human consciousness. though the people who are racist and sexist and etc, they need to lose those beliefs that what they believe is the only way to live and the sole, correct way to conduct yourself. that's WRONG. other than that, there isn't much use for his content. Outside of that, entertainment that covers what celebs are doing, who they're dating, and some of what they think (because a lot of celebs are fucking idiots) there isn't much value. and I will note, watching interviews from people like childish gambino, kanye west, and john legend can help you become a better person or more informed about the world or better at a specific skill. and that's where we come to my realization that I can find value, how to be a better lyricist without writing anything down, from talking to or watching interviews from certain rappers.

[innermonolog]

on the phone all day at work - stream of cons. 10.3.19

my primary goal is to learn kaz's content as much as possible in the next month while staying up to date with gppls daily. I've gone days where I make 4 songs in a day and at least 2 of them are good. i still haven't figured out what to make a song about certain topics and me wanting to not make a song with no rhythm or no message is what's causing me this paralysis. I've actually spent time looking for beats, and that's another thing. having the right beats to go over. the right beat can move you to make. the right idea can move you to make. this quantum psychology concept is a great message, plus I have a ross burger track to make too. I'm afraid of it being shitty! i'm really afraid. so what I'll do is i'll make the track and if it's shitty i'll upload it but I won't share it in the discord. but the other thing is I haven't sat down and spent the cycles freestyling/writing/making the music. You have to sit down and take that time if you want to create anything. it all starts with a rough draft.

going back to kaz's group, someone complimented me on how immersed I am making myself. hopping on voice with whoever is on there, actively participating. it takes a lot of time, and if you have a full time job you can't really take full advantage of it. but being on that voice call while i was at work yesterday made work so much fun. and that's what I want to do more often. it seems taboo to be on the phone all day, but for people like me who don't really need to interact with others physically or audibly, it's reasonable for me to be on the phone with someone all day while I'm at work, just as friends. what's the difference between being on the phone all day and listening to podcasts while you work?

[innermonolog]

i/o - stream of cons. 9.24.19

was yesterday a w? indeed. I did my base routine, exercised, and made a song i liked. i also read and got work done for AB. what else do i need to do in a single day? not much else.

today has been an even bigger W.

so let's see if I can recount anything form the 4 hour workweek, which i started reading yesterday. there was a quote from Albert Einstein talking about how there comes a point where the consumption of information provides diminishing returns if you don't exercise that knowledge, wisdom, or insight. consumption eventually turns toxic if you don't output. there must be harmony between your input and output. people still aren't on this. people understand not living the deferred life plan, as per Abadesi liking my tweet about "someday" taking your dreams to the grave.

so maybe i should lean into that more. or rather, leaning into that more may cause an uptick in engagement on my twitter. it's like what is my twitter brand: currently it's all about music, and higher quality thought. that's pretty much it. it's still about tech x innovation and music x tech, but i've quieted that stuff down since i want to shift that consumption focus on output, and if I'm making a gppls daily app, consuming articles on tech or music, or listening to podcasts (even the most valuable/innovative info) wouldn't help me get there.

Based on my convo with the CTO of prism.fm, I already have amassed a wealth of knowledge in the tech industry, and in the music tech scene as well. but there are only a couple things you can do with that: you can

1) consume more info and become more knowledgeable, but we already invalidated that,

2) uh..i can create my own content to inform others of the insights Ive learned (which is something i want to do but am still caught up with gppls daily), or

3) i can use that to inform other forms of output, i.e. apps.

and this 3rd point is where I want to hone my focus for the next year. I can livesteam on twitch and build apps to fulfill my 2nd order maker passion.

[innermonolog]

stream of conscious 8.31.19

I read Steve Jobs's biography on the plane ride to Austin. after a year I'm only 100 pages out from being done! but i shouldn't feel the need to read a book cover to cover anyway. that's not how books are read. most books you don't need to read from cover to cover to glean what you needed to take away. and it may even be that you needed to interpret the learnings in a different context, and create your own analogies for it to solidify it in your mind instead of reading the analogies and the context the information was presented it.

That's why I talking about what I'm learning with other people. when you communicate what you're learning in that new context, with someone who is not familiar with the material, you're forced to explain the concepts in your own words and in a way that it could be taught. this allows you to take advantage of teaching as the best method of learning. and when you put things into your own words, you're indexing it in your brain for easier retrieval later. so that's why I'd do that. it's interesting, talking to a friend who works in silicon valley, it's like he doesn't have any personal goals. I'm like dude who even are you? he's like yeah i like working i make time for friends. is that really all he does? or do I just suck at communicating/asking the right questions?

[innermonolog]

one door closes - 8.28.19 stream of cons.

Improving the quality of your thought results in an improved conception of reality. you have everything in you. when you're alone, you're alone with the universal consciousness, the never ending fountain of possibility. every though is a vector with a velocity in the direction of it's manifestation. that's why R last night felt the need to balance herself out after we talked about how she used to have that complex. she was transported back into her old mental environment and probably more and more thoughts started coming from that which was pressuring her to act on it.

alright was yesterday a w? Yes. I did my base routine, and exercised by jogging a few miles, and i made a song too! and the song was a meaningful one even though it was kind of hurried freestyle partially. one more reason it was a W was because I got to catch up with not 1 but 2 of my old friends from my pinternship!

We came up with the word Airbnbaddies. the next best thing for airbnb. anyway...

it's amazing I can say yesterday was a W because something devastating happened. I set up a meeting with K and i literally saw hear beforehand!! but she chose not to meet up. so it's like I told AJ, i had to face those consequences. and I don't want to date anybody anymore. I've begun focusing on myself, and it has done wonders for my quality of life and happiness. and I'm literally going places because of it. but when I focus on relationships, I end up over indexing and then fucking it up. and I've burned bridges for multiple people I would have wished to be close friends with. so, we won't make that mistake again.

[innermonolog]

on finding friends on bumble vs in person - stream of cons. 8.25.19

alright was yesterday a w? yes! i did my base routine and didn't make a song but I did do some walking and I'ms till sore. yesterday was a super lazy day. We literally smoked a 3.2 gram blunt and just sat outside and talked waiting for more weed to be delivered. then we went to dinner! I had to wait extra for rangoon ruby since dude was asleep around 11 and o girl had some stuff some greens and whatnot she got after she got back from her friend date.

that's one of the things we talked about was going on friend dates. vs going to meetups and meeting people through friends.

damn i didn't put that song on repeat. now I'm just typing in silence, which isn't the worst thing, but it definitely does take away some of the mood.

ok so we talked about 2 ways of making friends, but didn't include the third way. so you can use tinder to make friends/romantic interests and you have access to like thousands or tens of thousands of people in your area. but most of them are not compatible with you. so it would take you, most likely, a while to find the right person and you might give up beforehand.

secondly, you could go to meetups. and this is something i only started doing this year. the physical people you meet at meetups will have similar interests to you. so the likelihood of compatibility just went way up. i told her how i...

ok i told her how my boss met his current wife at a party organized by a fiend of his. other physical events like parties are another great place to meet people. places where people who don't know each other actually talk. this can be mixed up with a place like a concert or a club where people are most likely just going to see the artist and sticking with their friend group. something could be done to change this, one easily being size of the event. if it's only 30 people, people are likely to turn to their neighbor and say "wow that was great!"

but the "organized by a friend" piece adds another category.

going out with friends and their friends is a 3rd way to meet people. this way also has a higher compatibility likelihood vs bumble, but a lower one than meetups. because now you're using your friends personality/interests as a proxy.

the way she was going about making friends is very different from the way I have been. using twitter and discord to find people with similar interests, but who are not close in proximity, but I could have high touch points with them. This is magnified when you bridge the digital to the physical and back by attending things like conferences and meetups in different cities.

[innermonolog]

musical memes - stream of cons. 8/12/19

everyone should work for themselves. that's the first though i had that really cut through the noise. my mind also was clouded by repeating a song i made recently. i suppose this is a good thing, since that means the song is good because it's catchy. honestly, the only thing that identifies a good song is how good it is at spreading. how memetic it is. how much it is able to diffuse and infect hosts to thinking about it on repeat, when it isn't even playing. that's powerful.

but the other way you infect hosts with music is for the song to have a lasting impression on them. how do songs have a lasting impression on people? it could have been so catchy it was played on your road trip or in the club. you had a good experience tied to it. or something was said in the song that resonates deeply within you. wavelengths, frequencies, resonance. defining words in your own words. all necessary.

i think those are the main ways music is spread. but memetics is making me think about music simply as a viral mechanism, infecting people to recite its lyrics or convulse their bodies to a beat. or chant in large numbers. music is powerful. but harnessing that power takes social engineering.

[innermonolog]

the 4 stages of money - stream of cons. 7.31.19

today was a W. I did my base routine, and was productive. not my best day but definitely on the + side. i also was able to finalize my housing situation for the next year. this has brought me a surprising amount of peace of mind.

I've been teetering back and forth between buying a house, and moving to houston. should i buy a house in houston? should i  just go live with my mom to save a few thousand dollars?

i realized saving a few thousand dollars isn't a good reason to move back home if the city you're moving back to doesn't have an equal or greater potential to take you to the next level. it just so happens that Austin is a much superior city to Houston for people with careers in the tech industry.

I also happen to not be in any debt, a blessing. This means i'm outside of the tier where moving back home to save a few thousand dollars would be a really good financial decision.

so there are tiers, i'm not sure how many tiers there are, but let's say there are at least 4: in debt,  flat or zero net worth, making enough money such that making more money wouldn't make you happy, and being financially free.

[innermonolog]

7.30.19 stream of consciousness - more like musk

alright was yesterday a w? i think it was. i did my base routine, i exercised, i made 2 songs, and i didn't go to o girls place. we texted though. i've been meditating on the idea that attachment is the root of all suffering. i've been trying to not be attached.

i've also drastically shifted how i'm thinking about things. let's see how i'd explain this...i've been trying entirely too hard. trying to level up my income, i almost forsook many of the freedoms i have now. i saw a tweet about alternative forms of being wealthy and it stuck with me. having time to exercise, having peace of mind. being self aware. these kinds of things are all luxuries of life. not having to dress up for work. these things improve the quality of your life.

and the biggest thing this is related to is turning your every day life into one you love instead of striving for some fleeting goal. i've been trying to grow outwardly. gain followers. i literally thought yesterday, "i wonder how many followers elon musk has." that's not the thought process of a deep worker. that's the thought process of someone who values cosmetic metrics that don't mean anything. there's a reason why he has the followers he has. i should try to be more like elon musk rather than trying to get to as many followers as he has.

[geoppls]

stream of consciousness 4.11.19

so was yesterday a w? idk. with the emotions ive been feeling due to my own decisions, i’m not sure if it was. i did do my entire routine though, including reading and exercising. the problem is i have interviews i need to prep for, and i didn’t bring myself to do any of that. so that’s why it might not have been a w. while watching game of thrones yesterday i heard “how can you be brave if you’re scared? the only way to be brave is if your scared.” and that really stuck with me. and i felt like a coward for having blocked her. so i unblocked her and sent her a link to the guava island live stream thing that made me think about her. sad i’ll have to search for someone else to enjoy that with, and that i won’t find anyone by tomorrow. i wish i could share this journal with her, and enjoy the idea of us swapping journal entries back and forth. but for some reason still it breaks my heart to know that her journal entries will include or be filled with things I really don’t want to learn. i’m so done with this journal entry already and it hurts right now. but i put myself in this position. i want to say f her and i’m sorry at the same time. i have devolved into being so emotionally caught up in this. i’m been past the point of no return for a while now. i don’t know what to do. i feel like r kelly. i mind is telling me no, but my heart, my heart is telling me yes. and i want to run away from the pain. i don’t feel strong. and i want to just have sex with her and watch game of thrones and have time freeze

[geoppls]

1.24.19 stream of cons. - distractions & the road to 1,000 loyal fans

it took me so long to get to it. like i didn’t know what to say next. and the problem was that i just kind of sat there. i didn’t have a plan for what to do when the words weren’t just flowing out of my mouth like vomit. so, i tried streaming on twitch and looking into DJ controllers to make a live experience more engaging. because I won’t be streaming myself gaming right now. i’d need another device on my tv probably…like a capture card so I could stream the n64 game…and that would also necessitate a more advanced setup. once i got back to my song i had to think okay what’s related to highways, what other message am I trying to portray? and i dont even know how it happened but i..oh yeah..what happened was i was in the shower and said I’d just go with that one bar and then i though of stop lights and simon says so i added that in. and i kind of just went off of theat and let my thoughts roam to get to that i uploaded.

now multiple people hit me up yesterday telling me to keep going and don’t stop. 2 people. and man is that..that feels so validating and comforting. that i know at least 3 people that fw my music and gppls daily in general that are keeping up with my stuff. because that’s all i care about man. i don’t need 50,000 people commenting on my music. I just want 1,000 loyal fans

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[geoppls]

1.21.19 stream of cons. - how to write a banger

i did actually time me making yesterday’s gppls daily track which was ok since i am going to b doing something…oh yeah it was good that i actually set specific amount of time allocated to it but it took me 2 hours, 30 minutes more than i would have wanted. and since I didn’t have a topic like that character from that anime to go off of, i feel like it wasn’t as creative as it could have been, and i was grasping at something that wasn’t there kind of. it was hard for me to find material because I didn’t stick to a certain topic.

i still think the way to really figure out what to talk about is when i pick a subject to make a mind map of it. for example if i want to make a song about pizza. i could talk about different toppings, the cheese, marinara sauce, the crust and the ways, different pizza suppliers, how its frozen and cooked in an oven, brick is better, the holder they use, etc.

and if i was talking about southpark, i could use cartman’s catch phrase “screw you guys, i’m going home” and talk in his voice and say stuff like “kenny” in his tone. there’s SOOO much material related to southpark. i could make a song just about manbearpig.

so, at this point, it’s all about me finding a beat that works with the topic i want to talk about (and also like of course), finding those branches from the subject, and then seeing what i want to rhyme.

[geoppls]

wildnout - stream of consciousness 11.8.18

wow i almost forgot about what you were actually saying last night. you were saying that you were upset and taking it out on me partially because you’re mad at the world because voting shit and how in certain places there were voting machines just hiding in a closet or something and I’m like dafuq are you really about to justify you wilding out at me for freaking because people are corrupt in the world? Are you really that upset about it but you aint doing shit but scrolling on twitter? And you want to fucking talk to someone about it but you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to? You better start speaking up on social media, making videos about it, or something. If you want to have a voice you have to fucking use your voice. People that don’t say shit might as well be mute. It makes no difference. And you want to throw your purse and throw your phone at my table? You want to justify fucking storming out for that reason? This aint it chief. So I can’t back that behavior.