this is a love song.

this is a love song.

[saltwaters]

#saltwaters. an original character, written by merricat. mutuals only, triggering content will be tagged. please read rules before following. do not interact if you are under the age of twenty-one. / links: rules. bio. prompts. commissions.

[last updated 05/13/26]

my rules and bio pages are not up to date at the moment, so there may be things that i have written there that either no longer apply or should be expanded on. if you're unsure, please feel free to ask! i usually have an answer.

i am simple with formatting and generally do not mind how others do theirs, but i would prefer that partners do not use copy paste fonts and/or large paragraphs in all caps with me in our threads. thank you!

will be inconsistent with activity, both ic and ooc. writing happens when it happens and there will be more of it on some days than others. i still like to be here to interact with my friends as much as i can, but if you prefer a more active and responsive writing partner right now, you are always welcome to softblock, no need for explanation. you're also welcome to return at a later time when i am more active. either way, there will be no hard feelings!

[saltwaters]

gogle!!!!! how 2 wake up. forever. thank you

[saltwaters]

happy pride to everyone except jimmy stupid three names who is not gay but he is english

[saltwaters]

small update in case anyone is expecting to hear from me on discord or anywhere: i'm having a minor health issue right now so i might not be that responsive for a bit. it's all fine, but i accidentally took a larger dose of my medication than i was meant to last night, so i am waiting for that to pass and it might also take an extra day or two to readjust and feel normal again. it's not bad or anything but it has made me extremely lethargic. trying to do whatever work i can on anything i owe when i'm able to stay awake and sit upright. messages will be returned when i have the energy for it!

[saltwaters]

<- guy who thought they were only going to be sick for a day or two until the meds wore off is now sick in a real way. which shouldn't even be a surprise at this point but it catches me off guard every time

[saltwaters]

just because alice has accepted that love and marriage is not meant for her (she hasn't accepted this) and that even if someone asked her to marry them, they will probably change their mind later (this is a trauma response), does not mean i cannot make her a wedding moodboard (i am sick in bed again and this is all i can do right now)

[saltwaters]

i have a vision. too bad she will never let me do this fr

[saltwaters]

not going to be awake soon but. alice harmon m*lf era i figured it out

[saltwaters]

question for everyone. have you ever changed the fc for your character from who you had originally envisioned for them, and if so, what was the reason. i would like to know

[saltwaters]

just recently, i changed the fc for an oc who was nicknamed "nepo boyfriend" by the press and fans after he dated evil girl musician alice harmon. because c.allum got engaged to cool girl musician d.ua l.ipa which was something i never thought i would say at all but it felt like there was an accidental prophecy in this somehow and i didn't want this to get misinterpreted as me being weird about their personal lives. i am very happy for them but sorry he is fired. congratulations to mr and mrs l.ipa i assume he will change his name

[saltwaters]

question for everyone. have you ever changed the fc for your character from who you had originally envisioned for them, and if so, what was the reason. i would like to know

[saltwaters]

she's doing this

[saltwaters]

we have a few new followers so i am here to say hi and welcome. thank you for being here and visiting my house where i am often making silly posts and not doing nearly as much writing except when i do and it will just be a surprise whenever that happens.

my pages are very outdated and it may take awhile for me to put up something more substantial because unfortunately we have years worth of lore that i need to comb through. please feel free to ask if you have any questions. i usually have an answer for most things because quite frankly, i have been forced to think about her every day for far too long and couldn't get rid of her even if i want to.

in the meantime, here is what you need to know about alice in a few text posts:

here is what she looks like when she is smiling but most of you will never actually witness it firsthand unless she is being performative or if you've somehow managed to unlock the level where she is nice to you:

and here is what she looks like as a cartoon:

my inbox is always accepting any meme that i have ever reblogged, even if it's very old. i will probably answer them in roughly a year from now, but i will answer at least some them eventually. thank you for indulging us. bye for now ✨🤸

[wildwests]

#WILDWESTS / cowboy blog ! the blog for a cowboy

[cowl]

i'm just a man, a man who's trying to help. bruce wayne, the batman, of dc comics written by oz. highly private, highly selective, mutuals only. mixed media, headcanon - inspired, multi - verse, duplicate friendly. ©

[saltwaters]

get 2 know merricat

nickname(s): merricat is a nickname, technically. "real" name is dillon (i feel okay saying this because some of you still call me that) and i will also respond to dilly, merri, or mer. if you're laurel, i will respond to dillycat.

zodiac: idk these things. but i am an august leo, if that helps.

last movie i saw: fantastic mr. fox was on earlier but that was mostly to entertain my cat. the last movie i sat down and paid attention to was remarkably bright creatures, which stars a local celebrity from my area! (she's the octopus)

last thing i googled: cassoulet recipes.

favorite musician: you can't ask me these kind of questions. i don't know. beastie boys is my default answer but i don't know!!!!

song stuck in my head: big dog by the last dinner party.

other blogs: i'm supposed to have a multi but i never rebooted it like i was supposed to. there's also my gif blog and commissions blog, neither of which are that up to date either but they exist.

do i get asks: yeah. you guys are the ones sending them. i don't respond to them enough and i'm sorry for that.

following: [lucille bluth voice] i don't understand the question and i won't respond to it.

amount of sleep: we shouldn't talk about this. less than it should be.

lucky number: 9, 13, 812.

what i’m wearing: forest green sweater, dark grey pajama pants, and purple socks. i'm at home.

dream job: i wish i could say anything that isn't screenwriter. i really wish i could. it's terrible for me.

dream trip: i would like to visit my dear best friend in glasgow or my other dear best friend in philadelphia. i don't really have opinions on the cities themselves.

favorite food: salmon or toro sashimi, shepherd's pie (no peas), french onion soup

play any instruments: no 💔

languages: fluent english. some very poor french and mauritian creole (not enough to have a conversation in either but i can sometimes understand others if they talk slow).

favorite songs: seventeen by sharon van etten. sour times by portishead. don't delete the kisses by wolf alice. shake your rump by beastie boys. (one of these is not like the others)

random fact: the reason i don't play instruments, sports, or video games is because i have dyspraxia (developmental coordination disorder) and it is also why i fall down a lot 😭

describe yourself as aesthetic things: watching movies in an empty theater and pretending it's a private screening just for me! mixed media collages! punk visual design paired with classic lit and poetry! my entire body covered in scratches and bite marks from being attacked by cats! that one image of my hair on the bathroom floor that fell in the shape of snoopy's head! wandering down the street of my beautiful (ugly) city at night with music playing! (don't do this, it's actually really dangerous)

no one tagged me. i foraged this.

[saltwaters]

she has to wear the green ribbon sometimes so her head doesn't fall off

[wizzos]

“ it’s pouring out there. just spend the night, it’ll be like a sleepover. ”

@saltwaters , ALICE wild whim surprise starter call

[saltwaters]

"oh. yes, i am familiar with these." alice thinks she is doing her best impression of someone who participates in social activities. sort of. "i don't know if i should do that. i don't usually sleep for very long and i will keep you awake."

[saltwaters]

someone you know is being extremely normal about all of this

[vanpeltgfx]

YOU'RE THE WORST (EPISODE 1x01). writing prompts from the tv series you're the worst. contains references to drugs and suggestive dialogue. feel free to modify pronouns as needed.

and as the beatles said, "all you need is love." and a vera wang dress.

sometimes, well, you just want to witness the beginning of a disaster, so later, when the house is engulfed in flames, you can say, "yup, i was there when they installed the faulty wiring."

you only invited me here so you could passive-aggressively rub my nose in your happiness. at least i would have had the decency to rub your nose in it directly.

it must be so hard being the only one who sees people for what they actually are.

you are ugly and unpleasant and honestly, [name], you're not the original you think you are.

i really want to know, what does the brilliant [name] think about me?

you talk to her again, and me and my boys will mess you up.

enjoy your sham of a marriage.

getting married doesn't remove you from the burden of having to act like a human being.

those two are doomed.

has any couple ever had a more dishonest start to a marriage?

you're pretty.

i'm friends with the sister.

so, uh, what you heard about me?

i don't know what i'm doing here. i'm not even attracted to you.

i'm glad this is a one-night thing, so we can reveal all this awful shit about ourselves.

don't call me "all girls."

you know, right before [name] broke up with me, i started reading her e-mail.

break-ups hurt. i've heard. i don't really do relationships.

i have nervous hands, and they have to stay busy.

i'll sneak out in the morning.

there are no sleepovers.

i'm so glad i'm not gonna remember any of this in the morning.

good morning. so, i've been thinking about ghosts.

i was thinking, he sounds like he had it all worked out, and maybe if i could learn his secrets, then i could fix my problems.

why did you let me sleep so late? i'm famished.

we met in college. well, he was in college, and i sold weed to college kids. then he started giving me books to read, 'cause he saw untapped potential in me.

so, which one of you is giving me a ride to work?

why are you crawling up my ass about this?

did he say anything about me?

you're not gonna see him again, are you?

oh, god, i hope he doesn't think it was, like, an actual thing.

can you be careful where you're putting your makeup, and can you take your feet off the dashboard?

this is a lease.

why'd you have to get married?

i just moved in... over there.

i'm not gay. i'm english.

if there was any doubt that the book industry was dead, it is here in my hand.

you want to hang out sometime?

i'm an adult. do you know what that means? it means that i am beset upon at all times by a tsunami of complex thoughts and struggles, unceasingly aware of my own mortality and able to contemplate the futility of everything and yet still rage against the dying of the light.

don't even know what i'm paying you for.

you need to apologize so he doesn't sue you.

i'll fire your ass, and it won't mean shit to me.

who keeps food in their purse?

why would you stay over, huh? that's amateur hour.

here i was worried you were gonna get the wrong idea about last night.

i don't know what planet that you're from, but on my planet, someone like you does not just get... this! congratulations, you bagged a weakened gazelle.

last time you said you were coming over, you never showed.

i thought you'd grown sick of me.

i've watched you for two years now get girls to come home with you, and they're always gone in the morning.

now, i don't mind you being jerky with me because i know you care.

you're just an animal living in my house.

we both know there's not a person on this planet that's ever had a good outcome trying to force you to do anything.

that means something, whether you want to admit it or not.

why would i even listen to you?

you weren't defending anything except for the business interests of evil men.

that may be the most intelligent thing you've ever said.

someone's stolen my car.

you got to admit, that's kind of a baller move.

what's the worst thing you've ever done?

i set my high school on fire to get out of a math test.

why are you telling me that? that's horrible.

it was a great speech. it was funny and true and mean. my favorite kind.

i'm scared of this shit, you know? i don't like it.

you're amazing. you're 19 types of trouble but... amazing.

i think the moment's gone, isn't it?