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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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we're not kids anymore.
Product Placement
Show & Tell
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gracie abrams
Noah Kahan
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@inside-the-hotel-oj
welcome to the hotel oj askblog! we are currently (actually) accepting asks! (apologies for the closed askbox at first, i thought i opened it already!)
this is hotel oj, home to the eliminated (and undecided) contestants of inanimate insanity seasons one and two!
Hey OJ!
What do you think of Pepper? Not Salt, not Paper, Pepper. What do you think of her?
She's Salt 2.0, as far as I'm concerned. Frankly, she's somehow worse than Salt, because she barely forms her own opinions. (Why do you guys keep asking me about those three people specifically?)
for Mepad: ya got any feelings on the other mephones/meeple devices that live w/ ya?
btw Mepad, if ya could eat + drink, what would ya choose? (Like bc why not)
Oh! I didn't actually expect to get an ask, OJ recently told me he was doing this and put us all in a group chat, but I didn't think I would get any attention!
I don't distinctly remember any of the other Meeple devices. They all seemed so bland and rigid, all just the same. Except one. That MePhone3GS. He was broken, but not just his screen. If I could get him to work, which I usually couldn't, he would ask where Cobs was, if he was around, anything like that. Then he would just...shut off.
On a more lighthearted note, while I know it contributes to global warming, I think I'd like to try an oatmeal raisin cookie if I could eat, just to settle the debate for myself. (Although, seeing everyone else's reactions, I can't hope for too much there.) MePhone has also recently been drinking a lot of Dr. Fizz, so it would be interesting to see what's so appealing about it!
‘Paintbrush - How did your coming out happen with everyone at the hotel?’
Well, it went- it went better than I expected. There was more ‘not understanding’ than bigotry, which was…really nice. It was funny how it happened though, I wanted it to be a more one-on-one thing so I could explain it better, but that's kinda the…exact opposite of what happened. It was last year- this year? Last year? It was at the New Year's party that OJ does every year. A few people were making bets, basically behind my back, which was…not cool. Like, at all. But- anyways, a few of them were making bets and I heard them and ended up getting really pissed and turning around and they were petrified. Suitcase- Suitcase was the one that spoke up out of the group, and she said something along the lines of, like- like, ‘you guys they might be neither!’ And I didn't say anything up until then, but I just nodded. I literally- I think I could have handled that so much better and I just nodded? I guess it worked out anyways, so…whatever works, I guess.
‘What happened at the Hotel when OJ was gone for season 3 and, OJ, how did you fix it?’
OJ: Unfortunately, I had to put someone else in charge while I was gone. The choice was obnoxiously harder than I thought it would be. I mean- Soap would obviously be wonderful for the job, but I don't really know her. I can't trust her with my hotel! I knew it had to be someone I knew well enough, which led me to the ultimate and…frankly, idiotic choice of putting Paper in charge. While he is very trustworthy and an absolutely wonderful person to be around, I don't think she's really made for running a hotel.
Paper: It was horrible. I don't even- I can't even think about what might happen if I ever had to manage this place again. There was a huge storm while OJ was gone and the electricity went out and it took, like, a week to fix it because I didn't know who to call, and then the whole place was in disarray because I don't really know how to delegate tasks very well and it was just a whole thing.
OJ: No, it was awful. Luckily, I had my taskforce ready to fix everything. Needless to say, I will never be putting Paper in charge of anything ever again.
'What are each of the objects' sexualities?'
Full (as of 16/12/23) list: Balloon (he/they aroace), Baseball (he/they cishetallo ally), Blueberry (he/him cishet ace), Bomb (they/them pan demisexual enby), Bot (they/them biromantic), Candle (she/they transfem hetallo), Cheesy (she/him gay ace), Cherries (she/him questioning), Clover (she/they lesbiromantic), Fan (he/they pan demisexual), Goo (genderfluid transmasc pan), Knife (xe/he pan), Lifering (he/him cishetallo ally), Lightbulb (she/her transfem lesbian), Microphone (she/they/vol bisexual), Nickel (he/him cishet demisexual), OJ (he/him transmasc biromantic), Paintbrush (they/them omni graysexual), Paper (he/she questioning), Pepper (she/they lesbian), Pickle (he/him cisallo bi), Salt (they/she lesbian), Soap (genderfluid aroace), Suitcase (they/she demiaroace), Tea Kettle (she/her transfem hetallo), Test Tube (they/she agender biromantic), Tissues (he/him cishetallo), Trophy (he/him questioning), Yin-Yang (they-plural [Yin: he/him, Yang: they/them] aroace)
I was more than excited! I mean, I know it meant the Bow lookalike I made wasn’t as perfect as I thought it was, which was frustrating to say the least. I wanted Bow to be back so everyone could forget about her dying, but…I guess that just doesn’t go away no matter how many robot clones you can make. But they seemed so much happier when they started being Bot instead of Bow. Like it was who they were meant to be, and I can’t argue with that! I’m still incredibly proud of them to this day for being who they are and knowing that that’s not Bow. They’re a wonderful individual, and I’m so happy to say I had a part in their creation.
paper! What do you think of salt?
What do I think of- hm. I think, wholeheartedly, that she's jealous, shallow, and has no clue what's coming to her if she doesn't chill out in the near future. I mean, have you seen how uncomfortable she makes OJ? The nerve on that one...I'm usually the nice one out of the originals, but I'm not above kicking her out of the Hotel in OJ's place. That is all.
Oj! People keep on spreading rumors about how there might be multiple tacos, or that something messed them up, due to their random shift in personality. What do you think? Do you think they evil all along, or do you think that something else happened?
Like I said to the previous ask, I don't really have an opinion on Taco as a person. I will say, though, either possibility is likely.
What I think happened was this; Taco was always intelligent, she just used a filter for it so people didn't expect much of her as a teammate. She always wanted to win, like any of us did, but she never really went out of her way to win by backstabbing anyone, if that makes sense. It was easy to tell that the stupid Taco was a guise; she got smart quickly to do calculations and formulate ideas and immediately dumbed it back down the second people saw. I guess the million was enough to drive her to turn on everyone, but it still wasn't enough. She deserved it just as much as I did until then, but once she said all that stuff to Pickle...
Of course, anything could have happened. I doubt any of us but Microphone will ever know, and there's less than a chance she'll tell us anything if she knows. So until something new happens, Taco is a mystery.
What do you think of people outside of the hotel, OJ? (Ex: mephone, MePhone5, taco, the tylers, etc.)
Oh, well...it depends. MePhone is pretty fun to be around now that he's not imprisoning people in my hotel! I always invite him to all the holiday stuff, if that says anything.
As for anyone else...MePhone5S is weird. Like, really weird. I don't invite him to anything, but sometimes he just shows up with MePhone. I usually let him in, but I have had to kick him out twice for trying to set up an American Ninja Warriors-style obstacle course in the back.
Taco is sort of a sensitive topic, if that makes sense? I wasn't in season 2, but Mic was, and she came back shook. Wouldn't come out of her room for days. Even Pickle couldn't get through to her. She's okay now, but I don't think she's fully healed yet. A lot of us aren't. As for myself, I'm impartial to her as an individual. Her choices were hers, and that's the only opinion I can morally hold pertaining to her.