Inside Outside

Welcome to my little space in the blogosphere.  I love writing, so this is a nice little place for me to express my thoughts and feelings.  I love music, photography, short stories, sports and fashion so some of my posts may be related to those topics.

[chaemiseo]

markjin hughing 👬😍

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<3

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I love this feeling.

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To me, “happiness” is very hard to define.  I always ask myself whether or not I am happy and 90% of the time, the answer is: no.

Why?

Because there are many aspects of my life I wish were better.  Of course I am grateful for the people, opportunities and things I have been given but for some reason, sometimes when I sit down and reflect on my life, I wish that parts had turned out better - especially with my job.  I never thought I would be in a career where money took priority, yet here I am working to earn more and more money.  I don’t mind monotony or the fact that my wage is perhaps less than the average person my age would earn, but without job satisfaction I feel... empty.  

I suppose financial security comes into it as it is becoming harder to live these days than it was 10 years ago.  And of course it is now harder than ever to find a job that is stable, and without money, you can’t really do anything exciting.  Or anything for that matter.  The amount of time that goes into earning to live is physically draining, especially when there is no enjoyment.  With time on your hands, you’re often left thinking... “so, what now?”.  Job change?  Quit, risk unemployment and do something exciting?

In this day and age, there are only two types of people that can make those decisions at a drop of a hat: brave or rich people.  I am neither.

So, will I ever be happy?  I don’t know.  I suppose one day it is a possibility.  When perhaps I will be satisfied with every aspect of my life.  Will that ever happen?  Only time will tell.

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This song is simply beautiful in my opinion.  Even though it isn't their newest single, it still gets me every time I listen to it.  I would highly recommend if you haven’t heard of Super Junior to check out their albums.

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So recently I had my birthday.  Quite a big one too.  I realised that I had actually not done anything worthwhile in my life nor was I happy with where I was.

Maybe this is what everyone keeps talking about - the ‘crisis’.  I have hit a milestone and apart from doing a few 'fun’ things here and there like going to gigs, travelling to other countries, etc., I have not actually lived my life at all.

It’s one thing to say ‘YES, I’ve done this, that and the other, but to have LIVED it and loved it is another.  I can confidently say: ‘no’, I have not been there yet.