Something

[inspirationdelight]

I relapsed

[inspirationdelight]

Actually feel sick to my stomach from this sadness.

[inspirationdelight]

You told me to trust you just for you to abandon me.

And like a fucking idiot, I did trust you.

And I would do it again because I love you.

I want to experience long lasting love and security so badly.

My bones are rotting and aching by the second as the ability to trust no longer exists in me.

I can’t do this anymore.

I don’t wanna be here.

Every single person that has ever held my heart has left me feeling empty and insignificant.

[inspirationdelight]

I dont know if I’m gonna make it out alive this time.

Existing feels so hard.

[styrke-deactivated20240722]

you are allowed to be proud of the victories that no one else can see. like showering without completely hating your body, not breaking into tears at the thought of the future, talking yourself out of a dark mindset, calming yourself down in public, or like waking up every single day and choosing life. be proud of the progress no matter if it is visible for others or not. you’re doing great, keep up the good work!

[inspirationdelight]

No, because like honestly, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you. And I mean that with every fiber of my being.

I loved you for over 1,825 days and you couldn’t even honestly love me for one. I’ve spent so much time trying to heal all to come to some sort of acceptance that I’m just honestly really fucked and incapable of healing.

so now we’re here.

I hate you.

[recaption]

[deadbyinsidee]

[wishing-for-deathx]

I am not capable of healing. Every single thing that has hurt me and caused me pain or broken me in some profound way has distorted into this wound that bleeds at the slightest touch

[metamorphesque]

The world is entire, and I am outside of it, crying …  —

katrien de blauwer  /  edith sitwell  /  e. m. forster  /  anaïs nin  /  virginia woolf  /  h. g. wells

[langleavpoetry]

[arcaneimages]

[naran-ja-deactivated20161104]

Y'all I’m telling you, love someone. Love them unconditionally, love them no strings attached. Love them not because you want to date them but love them because if there wasn’t a romantic relationship involved you’d still want them around. Love them the way you dream of being loved. Love is a really great thing.

[inspirationdelight]

Something feels different about this time around... and I hope I’m right because I don’t know if I could handle losing you again.

I’ve spent my entire life being unforgiving, cold, and relentless when it came to men that broke my heart. Letting go and never looking back. But you... you constantly have me aching for the connection we shared. You touched and continue to touch my soul in a way I can’t even explain.

You free my imprisoned spirit. A spirit that often feels like a dimming flame when surrounded by the people I have no choice but to live with. A spirit that is so engulfed in trauma and toxicity. How do you do it?

God, I love you and that, that is an understatement. So much so that it feels like a disgrace to say out loud because it doesn’t do my heart justice. May I continue to grow into the warm, bright, and hopeless romantic I once was. May you continue to free pieces of me that the world has yet to experience of me. may you be the person that stands next to me and will choose me over and over again.

I want to believe in love again.

I really hope this is end game.

[bakwaaas]

Art by Clare Elsaesser

[alookinsidefromwhereistand]

Honestly,

I’m at a place where I can accept myself.

I’m greatful that this process is happening & also greatful for everything that tried to take me off this path.

I think I’m blessed to not only find a lesson in everything I’ve experienced but to be able to see myself from another perspective & take responsibility for the parts I’ve played.

[alookinsidefromwhereistand]

Update: nevermind.

[meanthoughtscheapshots]

How sad is it that someone can fuck you up so badly that you can’t believe that anyone would want to be with you.