Insult Calligraphy by Aitch

"If you can't say anything nice, come and sit by me" - Alice Roosevelt (attrib.)

[insultcalligrapher]

[insultcalligrapher]

Ain't that the truth 🙄

Image description: black modern calligraphy on a white page, which reads, you can lead a man to congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle

[insultcalligrapher]

Yo. 

I write fancy stuff. 

I design things. 

I make your wedding/party/shindig look sophisticated AF. 

Hit me up.

[insultcalligrapher]

Well, she DID.

[image description: black modern calligraphy on a white page that reads: I talked to Persephone and she says you're a little bitch.]

[insultcalligrapher]

Well, she DID.

[image description: black modern calligraphy on a white page that reads: I talked to Persephone and she says you're a little bitch.]

[insultcalligrapher]

[insultcalligrapher]

LAST ONE from the @probablyvampirerpgideas shitpost :D 

This one may be my favorite <3 

[image description: a pink card on a wooden surface. Written on the card in purple modern calligraphy is “I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa - play Despacito.”]

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[foxy-voxy]

Does a person in your life need a reminder to behave this holiday season? Send them a letter from the #Krampus 👹

Slide into my DMs and let’s chitchat about it.

(I do letters from #Santa🎄, too)

#lettering #penandink #cursive #fountainpen #gellyroll #lettersfromsanta #letterfromsanta #letterfromkrampus #Krampus #SantaClaus #Santa #christmas #yule https://www.instagram.com/p/BqJnnPZncVe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1gb4za2dlxuqf

[insultcalligrapher]

#3 of 4 in this @probablyvampirerpgideas series. Why? WHY NOT! 

Want different insults? SEND SOME IN, YO! 

Today’s bag of mixed anachronisms coined by @nuttersincorporated

[image description: a red card on a tan cloth background, with “You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that i can beat your ass in the afterlife, too” written on it in loopy modern cursive in white ink]

Interested in owning one of these ridiculous pieces of questionable art? $3, with US shipping included (ie, I will slap it into an envelope, put a stamp on it, and mail it), $4 for non-us addresses. Just slide into my DMs or hit me up on PayPal, tell me which one you want, and include your address. 

[insultcalligrapher]

Continued nonsense from that epic shitpost of @probablyvampirerpgideas 

This gem from @the-argumentative-viper

Two more in the queue. If there was a version of the post that has more than four of these fantastic anachronistically mixed things, please do point me toward it :D 

[image description: a brown card on a wood background, with “well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.” in a gothic-style script in metallic gold.]

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[insultcalligrapher]

Anachronistic mixed insults make me way too happy. There were more in the thread and they’re so getting used :D 

@probablyvampirerpgideas had the original post here

image description: a green card on a wood background that reads “so like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess.” in black modern calligraphy. 

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[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Oh my god I’m screaming this is amazing!

[insultcalligrapher]

I have three more from the version that got to me in the queue. Feel free to send any other choice suggestions!

[insultcalligrapher]

Anachronistic mixed insults make me way too happy. There were more in the thread and they’re so getting used :D 

@probablyvampirerpgideas had the original post here

image description: a green card on a wood background that reads “so like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess.” in black modern calligraphy. 

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[insultcalligrapher]

Unsure the subject deserves such attention, but this is the ultimate in punching up. The most “powerful” person in the world has a list of insult apellations so long and varied that it was difficult to choose a few. 

[image description: an orange card on a wooden desk with a black marker. the card has black modern calligraphy lettering on it that reads; orange joffrey, herr cheeto, tiny hands, fuckface von clownstick, mango mussolini, orange sauron, don the con] 

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[insultcalligrapher]

Gina Linetti is the human version of the 100 emoji. 

image description: A lavender card with black modern calligraphy that reads: “the only reason I didn’t tell you is I don’t value you as people, so why be honest? - Gina Linetti, B99 Defense Rests

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[insultcalligrapher]

[Image description: a green card with modern calligraphy in silver, which reads: “So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. I thought surely you’d still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.” - Captain Raymond Holt, Brooklyn 99]

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[insultcalligrapher]

I move that all women pull that line of Beatrice’s out when men are talking and nobody gives a shit about their mansplaning. 

[image description: a cream colored card with black modern calligraphy that reads: “beatrice: it is a wonder you are still talking, Signor Benedick - nobody marks you. benedick: my dear lady disdain! are you let living?”]

If you like my lettering, please consider buying me a coffee or some supplies! I’ll write you something as a thank you! 

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[insultcalligrapher]

Image description: A grey card with “Forget it, Donny, you’re out of your element - Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski” Written on it in black modern calligraphy.

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