this is the first time i ever sign something i’ve done. a fresh start my cat pals.

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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Game of Thrones Daily
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JVL
Stranger Things
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@intergalactic-hitchhiker
this is the first time i ever sign something i’ve done. a fresh start my cat pals.
I should try my best to cut sugars, and limit alcohol. Because they are so high-energy with no benefits, and addictive. I think that It'll improve my mood a lot, and maybe get me back to feeling good about my body.
I should probably also cut crisps and dip... by much. But it's like the love of my life, food wise.
The first goal should probably be to succeed 6 week at first, and then hopefully sticking to it. If I manage to up the amount of cardio I do at the gym, especially after my workouts, I'll hopefully see a big difference.
Honestly I'd just want my face to look like myself again. I've only gained like 6 kg of weight from my normal-ish weight (I always fluctuate) but damn it does a big difference in the face.
Dear Universe,
I love the constellations that you've grown in the sky. I've tried to grown my own in their image down on earth. They look like macaroni art in light of the greatness of yours, and I somehow doubt that you take notice of the workings of us children. But I try to keep my head up.
I've created quite many constellations, some bigger and overlapping with others. Others are in pairs or three's like your Orions Belt. The distance between these separate stars that me and my friends are often feel as vast as the ones you have in between your stars. It makes me feel alone and as if sitting in darkness. Especially as everyone else's constellations look so tightly knitted together, but I guess every star seen in your constellations are too far apart for me to even begin to imagine. Perhaps there's nothing wrong even with a lot of space.
I still feel alone. Perhaps because I haven't mastered planetary systems revolving around a single point of interest or star. I have the one you modelled for me in my family but haven't yet been able to recreate it. It makes me sad as I don't feel at home in this system revolving around family, but I can't find people to revolve around anything else with me.
Even though I can't get the pieces to go together, I hope that you enjoy this poem from me to you that is my life.
I am so annoyed with myself. I have started getting stressed out and impulsively wanting to kill myself again. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I feel so alone. I should at the very least feel fine, if not happy. Instead I am laying in bed hoping I could choke to death.
how do you know if you're in love???
I honestly asked my friend this same question just hours ago as I was clueless myself but thinking about it now I think it’s when for the first time after what seemed like a dreadful year (or life), you look forward to waking every morning knowing he (let’s use he as it’s me talking) will be there for you. I think it’s just plain seeing him and being happy that’s he’s around. It’s being happy just by hearing his voice. No matter how bad your day is, one message from him would make your entire day. It’s when he makes you want to write long letters and huge poems. It’s not all about “lust”- it’s more of the intimate relationship you have together. It’s when the simplest of things count. It’s when you start to mature and start to plan something with him for the future. It’s when he makes you want to start fixing your life. It’s when he’s always in your head 3 pm or 3 am. It’s when you can’t stop talking or thinking about him. It’s when you just really always miss him even if he’s right beside you. It’s the “I used to like green eyes but now blue eyes are my favorite”. It’s when all love and cheesy stuff just apply for him. It’s when you begin to see nothing but him and you value him like you value yourself. It’s not the “heart pounding, hands sweating” feeling but more of the “I feel home” feeling. It’s more of like talking to yourself- being yourself with someone without worries. It’s when you begin to really trust him with everything and that includes your happiness. It’s when he’s your happiness. It’s when subconsciously you change for the better. It’s when you once again start opening up after a long time. It’s when you are denying it at most cause you are afraid of how strong you feel and last I think while you’re reading this- there’s someone in your head right now and you’re just contemplating whether you’re in love with him or not but hey the fact that he or she is the person (out of billions of people) in your mind while you read this must say a lot.
What do you do when you lose this kind of love?
I broke up with the person I was thinking of while writing this because that’s what you do when you lose this kind of love- you let go and you move on.
You don’t cling onto the person because “two and a half years has been a long time and it’s a waste to end it here”. You end it because you’ve had enough thinking twice whether the person is still worth staying with or not. You let go because you find yourself looking back, comparing and missing the old times than cherishing the present. You let go because you have to stop defending that person and start facing the truth that things have changed. You let go because you let go of anything that upsets you whether it be work, hobby or a person.
And you let go because you have to stop being selfish. There is someone out there wanting to love the person you’re holding onto and they deserve to feel this genuine love from someone and not a pity love from you.
When you lose this kind of love, you move on. You do it because it’s the best choice for you. You move on because you’ve been hurt enough and it’s time to be happy. You move on because you don’t deserve to doubt the love that someone gives you. You move on and whenever you crumble, remind yourself on why you left in the first place.
And you move forward because you won’t find the right person for you while you’re holding onto the wrong one.
I think at a certain point you’ve just got to nod and agree with whatever parents say and then go along and do whatever you think is right anyway…they have such a restricted view on things based on their own negative or positive experiences they don’t realise it might be different for you
via weheartit
“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
— William Shakespeare, The Tempest