intergalactic soul

writings and ramblings about my hopeless search for meaning on this pale blue dot.

[intergalactics0ul]

/ by Dan. D. on Flickr.

[intergalactics0ul]

untitled by asoltani on Flickr.

[intergalactics0ul]

Despicable-Me minions 1600 x 900 by Big J.W. on Flickr.

[intergalactics0ul]

untitled by lenavorona on Flickr.

[intergalactics0ul]

Eternal stones?

The stones seemed eternal

And the sky was vast as it shadowed the stars

Accompanied by the pastel sapphire lantern hanging in the firmament

Sneaking a glance of my essence I treaded the rickety pathway.

Skinny, long black fingers ran parallel to me

That creaked and shuddered as I ran my hands over each one

I was carefully breathing the crisp air

feeling each bitter atom twirl through my lungs

and encompassed the air with a smoke of warmth

When I exhaled all the dread in my body.

I heard tender whispers ephemeral through the trees

Which fell silent when I passed them.

[five-words]

[intergalactics0ul]

Everyone leaves in the end.

I get that it's the way life goes. That friends come and go and they should leave imprints in your heart, and not shadows of regret in your mind. But it just seems too soon for that to happen. But honestly, I've been hurt so many times, and people have left me for the most idiotic reasons. It's almost like everyone is inevitably bound to gradually become sick of me, and then rid of me altogether. Maybe that wouldn't happen if everyone would be up front with me, and stop trying to act like I can majestically read everyone's mind. Well, this time I can tell exactly what's wrong. But that's not what's bothering me. I thought senior year was supposed to be fun but instead it's like it went from being cool, to being an internal drama-fest. It's like no one wants to admit they're mad at each other, and all of our negativity is just sinking the ship even more. I'm trying to be apathetic and all, but it's hard to put up a front and pretend like it's not affecting me. It is. I know I didn't do anything wrong, not blatantly. No one is perfect, and I know I'm not. But quite frankly, I am neither a hypocrite nor in denial. I also do not abandon my friends over stupid misunderstandings, or become this eternal suck-fest when something doesn't go my way. Yes I make mistakes, but have less than equal amount of regrets. Not everything I do is to make you happy, unfortunately. I hate the way people think that I have to please them 100% of the time in order to be their friends. And I hate when people change. Honestly, I really used to believe that people didn't change. And maybe they don't. Maybe they just hide their true qualities, but when it really matters, they throw down the veil and decide to revile everything at once. Or maybe I was the one in denial the whole time, and just finally realizing it. Either way, it's a crappy excuse for trying to ruin my senior year. Wee.

[intergalactics0ul]

My struggles with this world are no match for the struggles I have with my mind.