I've been places and I believe in second breakfast

23, He/Him, General Nerd, Retired Quidditch Player (for real), Tabletop RPG Enthusiast, aspiring zoologist. Icon by @cosmopoliturtle

[mossdftba]

Transcript:

Hey, Big Al, why do all the people in my life with ADHD have such a weird sense of humor?

Oh, that’s ‘cause we’re all super understimulated.

What does that even mean?

Imagine that the inside of your brain had an itch that you really couldn’t scratch, but that itch was actually boredom, but that boredom was actually pain.

Oh, I see, yeah, that- that helps me none, zero at all. It also sounds pretty terrifying.

No, it- it’s really not a big deal, you just kinda have to learn to restructure your life around it, including comedy.

Okay, so how does it affect the way that you interpret comedy?

So a side effect of understimulation is that your brain is constantly and more often than others’ active. You’re always thinking, you’re always analyzing, you’re always trying to problem solve. Because of exactly that, normal comedy and normal humor is a bit predictive, and doesn’t really land with people with ADHD.

So what does land with people with ADHD?

Stark, abrupt chaos. Because it cannot be predicted, nor calculated.

Okay, so what would that even look like?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Okay, why?

The Fitnessgram Pacer Test is-

[wizardoftrash]

That landed for me

[catastrophiccharlie-deactivated]

Me and my husband (both of us have ADHD) are cackling and keep watching it over and over again

[brightlotusmoon]

^same

[internationalhobbit]

I watched this, laughed and immediately yelled ‘fuck you’, cause it got me so easy and I hate being read

[radishnt]

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

[mothman-misato]

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

[boimgfrog]

Radish. Answer the question radish.

[radishnt]

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

[boimgfrog]

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[catsnraincoats]

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

[boimgfrog]

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

[catsnraincoats]

Its takes less than a minute

[boimgfrog]

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

[catsnraincoats]

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

[boimgfrog]

Like seven minutes

[catsnraincoats]

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

[boimgfrog]

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

[pidoop]

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

[silverjirachi]

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

[wizardlyghost]

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

[elodieunderglass]

[mannimarcos]

first batch of mini pokemon commissions :) thanks everyone!

[wearemercs]

Witcher Schools by Sarty96

1. Cat

2. Viper

3. Bear

4. Wolf

5. Griffin

6. Manticore

7. Crane

[leaving-this]

i made a 2-part uquiz called Which Shakespeare character are you? and it has 50 possible results.  The first quiz puts you into one of 5 groups and links you to the group quiz that has 10 different characters each. Tag your results. :)

[leaving-this]

the funniest part of this is seeing people in the tags who want to get hamlet and get something from a play they’ve never read and they’re like UMM IM EMO??? i HAVE to be HAMLET idk who Edmund even is and I’m like… sweetie…. you’re Edmund….

[internationalhobbit]

[inthetags]

reblog and put in the tags what accent you have.

[strangehorse]

there are so many things about british culture that upset americans, but one day they’re going to learn about what the british serve at barbecues, and they’re going to lose their fucking minds

[internationalhobbit]

Oh they’re gonna fucking murder us

[funnypeopletwitter]

That cut was completely horrifying

[wordsnstuff]

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[fictional-semantics]

*SLAMS REBLOG BUTTON*

[heywriters]

My collection of clothing references for writing. 

[humanityinahandbag]

@samanthafrank

[glumshoe]

Dreamt that the actress from The Queen’s Gambit was in a movie in which she portrayed a 15 year old who scams her way into this elite island “couple’s retreat” by posing as both herself and her fiancé. She eats all the food and has a great time UNTIL the other guests at the retreat all start transforming into eldritch horrors and she has to fight Evil Robert Pattinson with a sword as he morphs into this enormous tree monster. Fry from Futurama was there in the background as her cheerleader.

[internationalhobbit]

Was Fry animated à la Space Jam 1, Realistic looking but maintaining his horrific cartoon proportions or the closest Fry equivalent human being. Or Billy West in cosplay?

[glumshoe]

space jam style

[glumshoe]

Dreamt that the actress from The Queen’s Gambit was in a movie in which she portrayed a 15 year old who scams her way into this elite island “couple’s retreat” by posing as both herself and her fiancé. She eats all the food and has a great time UNTIL the other guests at the retreat all start transforming into eldritch horrors and she has to fight Evil Robert Pattinson with a sword as he morphs into this enormous tree monster. Fry from Futurama was there in the background as her cheerleader.

[internationalhobbit]

Was Fry animated à la Space Jam 1, Realistic looking but maintaining his horrific cartoon proportions or the closest Fry equivalent human being. Or Billy West in cosplay?

[zibaldoni-elzapoppin]

[betchawanna]

The Hague, Netherlands: Spanish street musician Borja Catanesi and the 68 year old dancer from The Hague mr Roland Parijs

[thatll-do]

imagine just playing your guitar and you come across the FUNKIEST grandpa

[clockworkcrow]

jeremy brett says be gay do crimes

[thecreaturecodex]

Gargon

Lobster clipart accessed at The Graphics Fairy here

[Teenagers from Outer Space is a terrible film, but a remarkably ambitious one given its title and budget. Most late 50s B-movies would be content with just a trigger-happy alien as a villain, but Teenagers from Outer Space features that, a fleet of flying saucers, and the deadly Gargon, the alien livestock that will happily eat humans! So what if the Gargon is a dead lobster being used as a puppet, matted into shots so poorly that it appears as either a jet black outline or transparent?]

Gargon CR 8 N Magical Beast This creature resembles a lobster larger than an elephant. Its carapace is a dark grey, and seems to absorb the light around it.

A gargon is an immense crustacean horror, resembling more than anything a shadowy, translucent lobster. They are raised by natives of the Plane of Shadow as livestock, but they are peevish, temperamental and ravenously omnivorous. Gargon husbandry is thus a risky operation, and requires careful limitation of their movements to avoid the creatures turning on their owners. Some gargon ranchers turn their herds loose on the Material Plane if they can—not only do the monsters have ample food supplies, but they grow remarkably quickly on the Material, reaching their full size in a matter of days.

Gargons require damp conditions in which to lay their membranous eggs, and are sensitive to light. Thus, on the Material Plane they typically remain in caves by day, emerging at night or in inclement weather to feed. They are of minimal intelligence and use minimal strategy—grab a choice morsel with pincers, squeeze until it stops moving, repeat. Gargons are sensitive to electricity; gargon ranchers typically use electrical weapons to kill the creatures for consumption. Gargon flesh is delicious.

Keep reading

[goluxexmachina]

Oh no, an lobster

[thecreaturecodex]

Oh, how the star of crustaceans has fallen in tabletop RPGs! It used to be that giant lobsters got depicted on the covers of modules:

or player handouts:

And yet, now they are scorned!

I suspect that the commonality of giant crustaceans in the early days of D&D had to do with the availability of little rubber crabs, lobsters and crayfish made as kid’s toys or bait repurposed to act as miniatures. And while Pathfinder RPG has a surfeit of monstrous crabs, it has neglected the other giant crustaceans.

[internationalhobbit]

I appreciate the giant lobster. It would do well in the Graidmire Swamp of Sinaria for my players to encounter.

[glumshoe]

one time I was eating a lox bagel at the airport terminal and a guy near me started freaking out and yelling into the phone that “this kid is eating FISH on a BAGEL can you BELIEVE IT?!” sir this is the traditional way to eat a bagel in America; get with the program

[good-enemy]

More proof that america is an elaborate hoax

[glumshoe]

#i. actually do not believe you

wait which part? that bagels with lox is traditional (it’s Yiddish) or that some Americans have never heard of it and think it’s a really bizarre new way to eat a bagel?

[lyrslair]

I… had to look this up and am now mad I had never heard of this before what the FUCK you can get SALMON on BAGELS and nobody fucking told me?

[superspiceybois]

now i love fish but on a bagel? heresy

[glumshoe]

But a bagel is just… bread! There are lots of different kinds of fish sandwiches with other types of bread. Even McDonalds sells Fillet’o’Fish. Lox on bagels with cream cheese (and onions and capers) has been probably the #1 most popular bagel dish in America since long before bagels became mainstream outside Jewish-American culture. Anywhere that sells bagels with toppings typically offers them with lox. And it’s good! It’s sort of a “once a year treat” for me for sustainability reasons, but it really is like… the definitive bagel dish. 

[internationalhobbit]

My greatest food regret is not trying some proper bagels in New York because I thought that they were like the false bagels we have in the UK. Ever since seeing what true bagels are like on Babbish, I have craved them and I don’t have the skill to make them at home.

[thebibliosphere]

I was at our local bakery recently and came across a loaf of bread quaintly branded as a “Peasant Loaf”. It was selling for over $6—the irony of this was not lost on me. 

In retaliation I have decided to post what I actually think of as a peasant loaf, but with the luxury of finely ground modern flour which is less likely to break your teeth because actual peasant loaf bread is like chewing rocks unless you’re soaking it in soup or stew. 

This is a very simple loaf, it requires no special tools and is a fairly forgiving dough for beginners to work with. Also it has the added bonus of looking like an expensive artisan loaf, but costs literal pennies to make once you invest in the basic ingredients.

So what do you need?

Ingredients:

Plain flour (or wholewheat if you prefer)

One sachet of active dry yeast.

Salt.

Water.

Tools:

Bowl

Mug

Prep and bake time total: 2 hours 45 minutes.

Yep, that’s it. You’ll notice that there’s no quantities listed up there, and that’s because you’ll be using the mug to measure everything. This helps to make sure your quantities are consistent, and means that so long as you have a mug and your ingredients, you can make bread. Heck you don’t even need a bowl, it just makes clean up easier.

Again I had Elusive Tumblr Dad help me take the photos so be warned this is going to be fairly image heavy under the cut :D

Step One: Gather your stuff.

[Patreon]

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