Sit Back and Relapse

Marc, 19. Musician. INFJ-T.

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

i keep referring to anyone under 18 as the minecraft generation

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

i still get generation minecrafters sending me angry messages about this 

[solitarelee]

Do you ever wonder what long term psychological damage is caused by crushing our small children with overwhelming pressure and time constraints every single day of their developmental life from age 5-18 and then suddenly setting them free into the world with no guidance or assistance other than “get a job” 

[merrybitchmas91-deactivated2019]

honey i don’t have to wonder 

[zarb]

It took me less than 5 minutes to sign up here! Nielsen is completely legit. They already pay people to watch TV, now they’re gonna pay me to watch vine compilations.. I’m truly living in 3018 y’all

[lazyproblems]

This is it… I’ve finally found it.. MY DREAM JOB

SIGN ME UP LIKE YESTERDAY

[collegehackable]

Signal boost to all my followers who want some easy passive income! Nielsen is amazing and I completely vouch for them. To maximize your earnings, you should definitely sign up on your computer and your phone since you’ll get paid for each device that you connect. Plus Nielsen gives away $10,000 each month! Each week you keep the app on your computer, you’ll be entered into the cash sweepstakes. The top prize earners both take home $1,000 each, and 400 people win cash prizes.

[just-shower-thoughts]

The most violent countries tend to be near the equator, and the most peaceful ones are farthest away. Maybe international conflict is mostly due to the fact that being hot and sweaty all the time makes people jerks.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[catscenter]

[lymphonodge2]

just gobling

[quillusquillus]

low budget creature effects

[gobblechopstv]

[strawbnie-deactivated20251201]

i swear to god i’m the biggest michael buble xmas album stan but there is nothing more insulting than “santa buddy,,,, i’ll wait up for you DUDE” and even more ridiculously so— he changed the line “a 64′ convertible too, light blue” to “a 65′ convertible too, steel blue” like…………………….we get it…………………….ur straight……………….ur a MAN…………………………. we g

[strawbnie-deactivated20251201]

#say you want to fuck santa you COWARD

[yarter-deactivated20170523]

[laharl-sama]

[honeyycurl]

This is very important if you’re ever in a situation similar this pretend that you’re dead don’t scream and @#!*%

[twevara]

my dad told us this if someone shoots up our school

SUPER IMPORTANT

BEST TIP

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS

[shrinking-ulzzang-deactivated20]

not even a joke we learned this in Police Explorers and put it on your clothing as well but go quickly because you don’t know where the person is.

[bootleg-firework-deactivated201]

This is what school children in America are taught. That is so wrong on so many fucking levels and there are still people who believe gun control in any form is a bad thing.

let me reiterate SCHOOL CHILDREN IN A SUPPOSEDLY FIRST WORLD COUNTRY ARE TAUGHT THE SAME THINGS AS PEOPLE IN ACTIVE WAR ZONES BECAUSE THE THREAT OF BEING KILLED IN A SHOOTING IS SO HIGH.

[starcrossedcherik-deactivated20]

the bit in caps here is making me rethink my stance on gun control 

shit

[appropriately-inappropriate]

I’m reblogging this because as my follower count goes up, the odds of this saving a life do too.

[bronzewitchhazel]

My elementary school had drills telling us what to do in such an emergency. This is exactly what they told us. AND NOW FOR A FACT: IN CALIFORNIA YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REGISTER A SHOTGUN!

[the-sky-traveler]

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

[anonymous-bosch]

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

[askragtatter]

So, a while back, I was using clicker-training to teach my cat Taz tricks. She learned very quickly and it was a good experience all around, but we had to hide the clicker.

Taz had learned that the clicker meant she got treats. So she would find it, carry it up to people, step on it to make it click, and then SCREAM AT THEM to give her the treats she was clearly owed because the clicker had made a sound.

[jinxtimesinfinity-deactivated20]

Cats

[wandering-tangents]

Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Looking for a relationship when you’re lonely is like grocery shopping when you’re hungry. It’s easy to be tempted to bring home unfulfilling, unhealthy junk.

[lesbianshepard]

what did these penguins do to the scientists to deserve this

[lesbianshepard]

researcher: okay so we’re calling these “african penguins” because it lives in africa

penguin: bites researcher

researcher: hey fucker guess what new idea

[just-shower-thoughts]

People with anxiety don’t have a train of thought. We have seven trains on 4 tracks that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming.

[just-shower-thoughts]

On April 1st, you trick. Then exactly six months later, on October 31st, you treat

[memesandlaughs]

[nick-avallone]

imagine if millipedes had toes

[nick-avallone]

their pedicures would be so expensive

[g-r-a-p-e]

So on average, a pedicure is around $20. $20/10 is $2, so we can say a pedicure costs an average of $2 per toe. 

Millipedes can have up to 400 legs. 400x5 toes per leg is 2,000 toes. $2x2,000 is $4,000.

It’s customary to tip around 15%, but we’ve just made this person paint the tiny, tiny, nails of a creepy af bug, so we need to tip big. Of course, this is discretional, but let’s go crazy and do 30%.

$5200 for a pedicure. 

[nick-avallone]