ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sade Olutola

Kiana Khansmith
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

shark vs the universe
Keni
cherry valley forever
taylor price
KIROKAZE

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@valkyri38
ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal
i am very pro âlove is the most important thing to put into your cookingâ but also. please season your shit
Love is stored in the garlic powder.
how often are you getting a headache
daily
weekly
monthly
couple times a year
yearly or less
how often are you getting a tummy ache
daily
weekly
monthly
every couple months
yearly or less
Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too
having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i canât be saved
âWhat if poor people abuse the system?â
The system intrinsically abuses poor people.
Hope this helps.
"What if poor people abuse the system?"
Rich people abuse the system far more and out of pure greed, not necessity or desperation so idrc about that
vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can meet people their own age
#vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can hit on senior citizens that are way too young for them
Where I come from, we donât worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? Iâm from Scranton. What iâm smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, Iâm gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but Iâm taking your stash of mids, theyâre gonna say Câmon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* thatâs right. thatâs right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.
this post is scripture to me like this is a seminal text. to me
heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE
#kneadless comment
Lawyer: How would you like to handle the custody agreement?
Parent: I want my wife to take one of my infant daughters to the UK and Iâll take the other one and we will never see each other again.
Lawyer: You want to fucking what?
Homemade Electrolyte Mix
Guess what, folks! It's summer! And it's gonna be a hot one, because they all are, recently :(
Did you know you can lose about a liter of water, a gram of sodium, and 300mg potassium in an hour of profuse sweating? If you're working outside in the heat, or even just existing in a very hot and humid environment, you're gonna want to replace the electrolytes you're losing, and you're gonna have to be purposeful about it.
But electrolyte drink mixes, while convenient, are surprisingly expensive for what they are. So I'm going to give you a top secret recipe that you can whip up for literal pennies that will replace what you're losing in sweat.
1 liter of water
1/2 tsp table salt (about 1g of sodium)
1/8 tsp potassium chloride salt substitute (about 350mg potassium. NuSalt is a popular brand, it's sold near the salt at the grocery store. If you don't have this, replace 6oz (180ml) of the water with orange juice or eat something high in potassium, like a banana, each hour you're sweating)
6-8 tsp of granulated sugar (you do actually need this and not a no calorie alternative- sugar helps speed up the absorption of electrolytes in the gut. You can omit if using orange juice for your potassium source, though!)
Lemon or lime juice for flavor, optional
Mix together and drink 1 liter for each hour you're profusely sweating. Adjust your intake so that your pee is light yellow.
If you want to make this mix ahead of time, put 1x the recipe of salt, sugar, and potassium, along with unsweetened Kool Aid powder or crystalized lemon or lime juice, in a small baggie. I do not recommend putting multiple servings worth in a baggie, as the ingredients settle differently and you might not get the right ratio.
NOTE: like any electrolyte drink, it works better if you sip it instead of chugging. If you chug it, you end up pooping out a lot of your electrolytes, even with the sugar.
Source: Where There Is No Doctor by David Werner
I had mistakenly absorbed so much bullshit about sports drinks being "unhealthy" that I learned the hard way that when you work outdoors chugging plain water will NOT rehydrate you properly. great resource thx
hey guys unpopular opinion but youâre not a bad person if you donât care about every bad thing happening in the world all the time, or if you do care but youâre not constantly reblogging posts spreading awareness and information
itâs okay if youâre just on tumblr to have fun and reblog things you like or that make you happy.
humans arenât made to process trauma and suffering on a worldwide scale without any breaks whatsoever & the internet has created an unprecedented access to bad news so please never feel guilty for scrolling past it because you canât process it! and youâre not doing anything wrong & thereâs no need to feel guilty
HOW IS MY SISTER STRAIGHT UP CARRYING A GUZHENG?????
SIS IS FUCKING BUFF
this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s
Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders Iâve drunk one every day this week
Drinking spiders??!
You put ice cream in a glass and pour soft drink over it. It creates a thick layer of delicious foam on top of a sweet, creamy drink with ice cream in it.
And yes I did attempt to get a picture by googling âAustralia spiderâ like a fucking moron.
I think thatâs called a float in the states. Although we usually plop the icecream into the glass after the soda. Similar effect though.
We wouldnât be able to call it that because the word is way too easy to confuse with a floater, which is a meat pie floating in a bowl of pea soup. It is every bit as delicious as a spider though. I should get some pies and pea soup.
I would like to announce that this is not a standard Australian food, itâs exclusively a South Australian one and the rest of Australia is just as appalled as the rest of the world.
Itâs not our fault that the rest of Australia is incorrect about food.
#WE HAVE SPIDERS IN AOTEAROA and they serve CUNT#im gonna steal ice cream from work this weekend and make spiders with it. i will steal the fizzy from work also#i fucking hate my bossÂ
Living your best life I see
âaverage person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in South Australia and BADLY misinterpreted our survey question,,
We have spiders in Melbourne too (though i dont know many people that drink them)
The most common float in the US is a root beer float, root beer with vanilla ice cream but a root beer float with chocolate ice cream is called a brown cow for some reason.
I thought a brown cow was vanilla ice cream with coke instead of root beer. Learning new things!
I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby
English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son
I explained the âx before gta6â meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named GicÄ Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: âThis happened and GicÄ Petrescu hasnât even died yet?!?â
So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid
OP are you telling me we got the death of GicÄ Petrescu before we got gta6
i usually possess great love and concern for the world and the people in it. usually my worldview is that I want people to be healthy and happy and treated with great tenderness. usually i think there is nothing more important than making the world a better place for the humans and creatures in it. none of this applies when my stomach hurts tho. atm i have a tummy ache and im fantasizing about pushing u into traffic