Wandering Tangents

Oddball. Jokester. Dreamer. Chaos magnet. Human disaster. Shitposter. INTP, Airbender. Antifascist. Liberal/Progressive. Anti-Trump. Anti-war. Anti-Nazi. Anti-Christofascist. Pro-BLM. Pro-Feminism. I have a soul full of fire and punk rock.

[notahorseindisguise]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[mysticorset]

Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids

[notahorseindisguise]

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

[hiveswap]

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

[midnight-revolucion]

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

[notahorseindisguise]

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

[marlinspirkhall]

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

[canopiandogthing]

I also choose this user's dead wife.

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[ralfmaximus]

Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.

And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.

A website of tiny ceramic frogs.

Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.

I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.

“This is your website?” I asked finally.

“Yep!”

“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.

“Yep!”

“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”

“I made those too,” he says, beaming. 

And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.

“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”

It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team. 

And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.

[schmergo]

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

[caesarsaladinn]

Lincoln Lincoln

[thefreakmeister]

me: isn’t it funny how captain kirk was supposed to be the sex appeal of star trek but it ended up being spock

my dad: i thought it was bones

me:

my dad: i thought bones was supposed to be the sex appeal

[thefreakmeister]

prev you’re the only person here that gets it

[thefreakmeister]

how the fuck did you figure him out this fast

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Who made the biggest sword ever?

"Biggest" can mean a few things:

The heaviest sword of all time is the 468lb "Le Glaive Chungeuse" of King Louis LXIX, so heavy nobody could wield it.

The longest sword ever made was the Gobai-nodachi, or "quintuple length longsword" forged by Masayoshi Johnson for a ceremony said to have resulted in the deaths of everyone present.

The thickest sword, three feet thick but only six inches long, was the Hungarian Chodesaber, which was used mostly for flattening dough.

The widest sword is currently the Grand Coronation Stub of King Charles, ruler of England as of March 2024. Shaped like a shallow isosceles triangle, its tip is almost 165 degrees.

The most expensive sword ever forged was the Diamond Sprinklesword of Muffy von Fitzwiggle-Plumnugget, which a rich Californian gave to his chihuahua for its third birthday. It could have paid to feed 30 billion people for five lifetimes.

The "biggest" sword in terms of fame and notoriety is the Sword of Damocles, which metaphorically hangs over the head of those with power as a reminder to be responsible lest they grow greedy or despotic. It has not been seen since around November of 2016.

Though not "big" per se, the sharpest sword of all time is currently being constructed at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, and will be exactly one hydrogen ion thick at its point. It will be used exclusively to get the gunk out from the fingernails of the intern who is forging it. And God knows Harold needs it, just look at them on his facebook they're fucking disgusting.

[razielim]

Salem Brought a Guillotine To Oppose New Data Center. Company Reps Left, Feeling “Unsafe”.

Salem's city council voted unanimously to pursue a data center moratorium after residents - and a guillotine - pushed back on a $5.1 billion

Innovation happens every goddamn beautiful day in this country.

[isuggesteatingtherich]

i have a suggestion

[socialistexan]

Harry Potter fans (derogatory)

[porterdavis]

[nicostiel]

Gotta Catch 'em All: A Knives Out Mystery

[nerdy-as-heck]

I saw this and felt like it should be shared here too

[rubaedo]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimes

[absurdcrow-deactivated20251107]

CURRENTLY SOBBING. OK SOO, RIPLEY IS GAY?!!

and lambert is actually trans?? 😭😭

[not-in-absentia-deactivated2023]

I had to check, it does also appear on screen

[necromanticalscience]

There's a better shot of it in Aliens, right at the start when they're listing the Nostromo crew memebrs!

Also I read that there are deleted scenes of Ripley and Lambert arguing and being more overtly in a relationship. Ever since I learned that it's been my favorite ship.

[gamebird]

Oh neat, I didn't know this!

(I'd heard the bit about the role being originally written for a man and they cast a woman, which explained many things.)

[depsidase]

[segamascott]

he still did 9/11 no one can take that from him ❤️

[depsidase]

[castielrisingabove]

When it’s announced that a Bay Area middle school teacher is one of three heroes sent to save the world, San Francisco clamors to rename things to “Ryland Grace.” Grover Cleveland Middle is quick to the draw, becoming Ryland Grace Middle the very next school year. Grace also gets a street, of course, a science wing at Stanford, a state park along the coast — by the time the Beetles return, you could probably throw a rock in San Francisco and hit a Ryland Grace reference.

Eva Stratt, meanwhile, is a stain. Graffiti tucked away in alleys and under bridges, forever painted over by the powers that be. A name meant to be forgotten. Stratt has always known this was part of the deal: after all, humanity needs a villain just as much as it needs its heroes. The best she can hope for is to be erased entirely on Earth.

And yet, light-years away, there is a beloved body of water, its surface dancing with artificial waves, that Ryland Grace wistfully refers to as The Sea of Stratt.

[depsidase]