to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

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@intothebluexx
to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.
But when you lose someone, you don’t lose them all at once, and their dying doesn’t stop with their death. You lose them a thousand times in a thousand ways. You say a thousand goodbyes. You hold a thousand funerals.
-Sara Seager, The Smallest Lights in the Universe: A Memoir
bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.
Soothing weather
By me (2017)
what could be worse than this?
like stepping on legos
or an unexpected paper cut
like shivering cold showers
or a punch to the gut
like a prolonged toothache
or stubbing one’s toe
like sopping wet socks
or someone you used to know
like a scorching sun burn
or with a heavy heart
like a moon without the sun
tis cruel to force them apart.
a wound worse than all this pain,
the aches, the burns, the hurt
lays quietly awake in the twilight,
loving you from beneath the dirt.
Fortesa Latifi, from The Truth About Grief.
.
it feels like you're still at work, coming home any time now and i'll get to hear the lock jiggle and i'll know its you and i'll smile when you appear in the doorway, tired, your jeans baggy, your shirt only half tucked. it feels like i'm always waiting for you to come home. and i'm mad. i'm mad that the God that made you also took you back, even though He has every right to, that you belong to Him and not me. but i wasn't ready. i wasn't ready to let go. not yet. maybe not ever but certainly not yet. i need you to help me buy another car in 7 years and teach me more about islam and tell me your favorite dessert and ask me to help you with your taxes. i still need all these things from you so how could you leave, now how could you leave me. i can hear you calling my name. i want to tell you that i love you one more time. that you are everything to me. that i am nothing without you. that i dont want to exist without you by my side. i want you back.
how could you be gone
Who do I talk to now that the only person I could always talk to is gone forever...?
Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.
Richard Siken, War of the Foxes; "The Worm King's Lullaby"
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal, and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."
- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross