The tears from my eyes, I have cried for 6 hours now. My eyes started to turn red and it was hurt. I think of you all the time, I could not sleep, I could not think of anything. I do not know about you. The thoughts of love without any answer, the love that I only feel by myself is killing me. I do not want to feel like that anymore. It is hurt, I have hurt my drive, I closed all the doors and built the right pieces to the left, the only pieces left. When you came, it seemed impossible, but my heart knew you could be the one, but I didn't believe it especially the conditions about you. I have warned you, I am not like you expected, not kind and wise like you saw me. I am vulnerable and weird, my soul is dark, the other side of the coin I never show to anyone except you. I warned you that I am difficult, I am scared to be left, I am broken to pieces inside, it is hard to trust someone, if I love you I will give you everything, I pour my soul to your cup until it full. I am broken, thinking too much, hurt, difficult, too emotional, sensitive, vulnerable, weird, and crazy. You name it I know it. I know every single flaw I have, I think about it all the time, you don't have to point me to my flaws, I know it. You don't have to give me a way to do it, you don't have to fight to fight my demon. It is a battle that I have to face by myself, I just need you to hold my hand while I face the demon to give me strength. That is why I want to do, nothing else, just keep my hand and me, while I fight the demon inside me. I just want to cry and scream out loud every single emotion until it explodes and gone. I want to scream out loud that is it. I just want to feel your arms, I just want to feel your warmth, I just need that, I don't want you to give me advice or anything else, just with your arms and that is enough for me to make me brave and strong to face the demon and monster. I used to be like that, you used to support me with your love, but now you are different, you judge me and me at me. I know every single thing I need to do, but you know my mind inside, it is hard to think clearly, just need to express my emotion and empty it before thinking clear. I only want to do the hug and kiss, like the way we used to. I do not know why you easily mad and anger nowadays. I don't want someone to feel or face the way I feel now, because it will be horrible, I do not Everyone wants to live life like hell in the earth, every day for me to fight and kill everyone around me. the voices inside my head who told me to cut and hurt because I deserve it, I am dirty and guilty and bad.
