intoxicated-velociraptor welcomes you

My user name is awesome because I am awesome and you are too! Anyway, hi guys. I'm Adam and welcome to my blog. My goal is to make people laugh and you'll get to see stuff I find in all kinds of places and my thoughts at 1 am. Make yourself at home :)

[jibril-deactivated20190420]

me

[pussylipgloss]

$2.48

[friendhub]

me: *accidentally isolates myself from my friends and disconnects from online communities*

me: whered all my besties go

[intoxicated-velociraptor]

This post right here, this is the one that violated me

[dragon-in-a-fez]

where do TV shows get this idea that high school is constant drama, nothing even fucking happened to me in high school

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I’m now remembering that my school got a slurpee machine and then had to get rid of it two weeks later after someone poured toxic chemicals into it that they stole from the science lab in an attempt to poison the entire cheerleading squad so like, maybe I was just boring

[deadblogdontlook]

Not every day you find out youre a background character

[thebootydiaries]

Doctor: you have 6 months to live

me: Oh No!!!! 😜👌🏽😂👌🏽😉👌🏽💯💯🔥🔥🔥😂😂😂

Doctor: how the hell did you do that

[adobekillustrator-deactivated20]

[painbitteranguishdeathmurderblah]

normal ads: i figured out how to make money from home! click here for more info. mobile packages! play this videogame! :-)

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[champagnepadre]

[bedbish]

[thebootydiaries]

me: are there any spirits listening

ouija: yes are you alone

me: yes

ouija: haha nice whats up :P

me: trying to contact my dead grandmother

ouija: cool cool so what would u be doing if i was alive right now lol

[gennyescsecsemo]

[animatedtext]

[sidology]

“haha what would u do if i was in that coffin with u? ;)” - white boy paying respects at a girl’s funeral, probably

[egberts]

[beautifulsdot]

A gem

[g0ds-favorite]

[afk]

mosquitos

first of all how dare you

[queenforthepeehole]

[just-shower-thoughts]

home is where you can remember where the light switches are without looking

[intoxicated-velociraptor]

They’re not wrong