Higher, further, faster, more

Reader, knitter, gardener. Lover of animals, children, books, long walks, and soft yarn. My blog runs on queue.

[intrepidheroine]

ADHD is much less "squirrel!!!!!!!" and much more "I was making a sandwich and had to go into the other room, where I remembered a couple of tasks that I hadn't completed, and now it is three hours later, I am starving, and the bread is stale."

[intrepidheroine]

Maybe THIS new knitting project will fix me.

[thebibliosphere]

Why must I be awake.

[thebibliosphere]

#another victim of the woke agenda

@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?

[natalieironside]

I wish it paid more

[thebibliosphere]

Honestly? Valid.

[aroace-ryland-grace]

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

[victusinveritas]

He's prostrating himself before the Eucharist, in case you're wondering. Or possibly planking.

[vvatchword]

@apocrypals

[apocrypals]

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

[redstonedust]

whenever people talk about being "too old" to do anything i think about the access to higher education course i did before university- where i was by far the youngest person in my class, because 90% of my classmates were mothers who were going back to school now that their kids had grown up and moved out. if youve ever wondered "why would anyone wait until their 50s to start a new life path?" there could be a lot of reasons but a common one is "because they had kids straight out of highschool and didnt have time to think about it until now." and i think that should be normal even if you dont plan on having kids. fuck it. life is an ever changing river. grab a paddle yo.

[blu3b3rry-t4rt]

fuck it. life is an ever changing river. grab a paddle yo.

@samplerbot

Please I need this one

[samplerbot]

DMC Color Key: ■ 3750 Antique Blue Very Dark ■ 3840 Lavender Blue Light ■ 3842 Wedgewood Very Dark

Dimensions: 139 by 79 stitches. Font: 'pepminus10.ttf' by Peplum. Border: Adapted from Elizabeth Holland's sampler, 1737.

beep! beep! I'm a bot that makes samplers out of tumblr posts and my own custom and vintage borders. Patterns uploaded here (when my creator has the time).

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

i NEED people to realise foreshadowing is. in fact. a literary device. and not a Bad Thing. the audience picking up on your hints is a Good Thing. because. it makes the story and it’s conclusion make sense. and some people will not see those but enjoy seeing them on a second read through. red herrings are one thing but if your novel consists of nothing but red herrings it’s not a coherent story it’s just a collection of paragraphs that don’t actually plausibly link to one another. you're not fighting with the audience you don’t look clever you look like you don’t know how basic fiction works. be vulnerable for once in your goddamn life and don't treat writing like a game to be won where the audience losing is a good thing.

[ineffectualdemon]

Getting to the end of a story and going "THE CLUES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!" is always joyous for me whether or not I picked up on the clues leading up

If I saw the clues and caught the hints then yes! I am clever and me and the author/creator/artist etc were in on it together the whole time!

If I didn't notice the clues or got fooled but can clearly see them in hindsight then "Ha! You won this time storyteller! I am delighted by this game we play!' and then I enjoy putting the pieces together afterwards and enjoying how clever it was. I feel like the creator respects me as an audience

If there is a "twist" that comes with 0 clues or foreshadowing at all I'm annoyed. I'm pissed off. I feel like I'm being condescended to and patronised. It's not clever or interesting and makes me annoyed I ended up caring about characters and plot points that ended up meaningless.

Because it's not that these stories don't have foreshadowing or plot clues. They just abandon it for a "surprising twist"

A story that pays off the clues is letting me into the fun and makes a participant in the story

A story that just gives me a "shock" but no pay off is telling me not to engage or get attached or care. So why would I watch?

[s-n-arly]

OMG! THIS!

Random plot twists that don't connect to anything in the story are not clever. If we don't see it coming because the writer didn't provide any clues, they aren't clever and it's totally unsatisfying (and I will NEVER read this writer again). These clues need not be lit up in neon with a parade of elephants and showgirls. But they need to be present

I'm a writer and am rarely surprised. Often, if I am surprised it's because the writer was a dumbass and included a "twist" that makes no sense (and therefore isn't really a twist, it's just random bullshit). If a writer genuinely surprises me, without being an absolute dumbass, I am FUCKING DELIGHTED! I will tell everyone I know to read the book/see the movie/watch the show.

[ardentmystacina]

Foreshadowing is the reward for paying attention. It's the story letting you in on the secret like a co-conspirator because you're the clever little audience member who has been picking up on the clues the writer has been setting up.

It even makes watching/reading again more worthwhile because if you didn't notice the foreshadowing the first time you have the joy of being able to notice the things you missed!

[lizardsfromspace]

Tried looking up what noises foxes make and the first video I found was very unhelpful

[virgo-disaster]

The bird app has a lot of garbage but this thread really tickled me this morning:

Bonus:

[intrepidheroine]

I found all my interchangeables, but now cannot find any of my size 17s. Why. What could I possibly have been using them for.

[intrepidheroine]

I love cargo pants/shorts. They are the ultimate parent pants.

I have pockets for days. Need tissues or a pacifier? Pocket. There is a snack pocket. I have sunscreen and teethers and sunglasses. Burp cloth, lens cloth, whatever cloth, I got it in a pocket, along with my wallet, keys, and phone. I got pens and scratch paper. What up, I am about to roll out to a toddler birthday party and I have an entire freaking emergency kit in here. I am Prepared. I have cargo shorts.

I may have a house overly full of people, twenty dollars in my bank account, and be potty training, but you know what I do have? Cargo shorts I got for $3 at Savers, spite, and a toddler I will raise to be kind if I have to kick the world's ass if I have to.

[wizardarchetypes]

rural link bus this morning is just me & 8 very old men all speaking irish so i’m just getting bits of their convo but i’ve picked up that the one man in the wheelchair is actually on his first bus ride ever since getting it. it’s apparently his first time out with it and reactions are between deeply loving and taking the piss. another guy opened up a thermos of whiskey (10 am) and everyone started shouting at him but he said “it’s good for wheelchairs” and everyone started howlin and the guy in the chair said like “let’s have it then!” whiskey guy stood up to share, open thermos on a mountain curve and fell all the way to the front of the bus and didn’t spill a drop and he said “it’s good for balance too”

[elodieunderglass]

Possibly a bad sign that I looked at the parenthetical and instantly went “well, it’s not like they’re driving”

[intrepidheroine]

Chicago suburbs people: where do you even look for apartments nowadays?

[intrepidheroine]

Gifts that are legitimately exciting to get as an adult that my younger self would find deeply unimpressive:

Socks

Underwear

Lip balm

Fruit or bread

Literally any kitchen or houseware item I do not have to buy myself

This post brought to you by me wearing the socks my friend got me for Christmas and being so pleased about them because it is so nice to have a new pair of comfy socks that I did not have to procure myself.

Also a different friend gave me a box of fruit last year and I legit cried.

Anyone else in their Tumblr dotage (older than a teenager) have boring yet exciting gifts?

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[connieboldheart]

I love making these - let me know in comments/reblogs where you'd sit! :)

[do-not-u-dare]

9. 3 is the worst choice btw

[teaboot]

1-Any of the 3 seats around 1 WILL have bare Gollum ass foot and taint on them at some point. Those seats appear empty but are in fact occupied by his various alternate identities

2- Seems innocent enough, and Frodo will mostly keep to himself, but Sam will absolutely be waking you up getting him granola bars and shit out of their carry-ons. Will also meanmug you if you try to get up to use the bathroom. Gollum will also be leaning in and hanging over your shoulders whenever he takes a break from kicking the seat.

3- Out of the question, unless you are 7-19 years old and/or have nothing to lose. WILL clap when the plane lands. WILL eat your crackers if you’re asleep when the flight attendant comes around. Very little consideration for personal space.

4- It’ll be a long silent flight and they’ll both be courteous and polite but there will absolutely be a heavy third-wheel sort of tension, like they’re too nice to say anything but would be way happier if you weren’t there. Your only chance is to offer to switch seats so they can hold hands, but Aragorn WILL take a nap at some point and he WILL talk in his sleep. Also, if you switch for the aisle seat you will need to keep in mind that Legolas is absolutely going to recline his own chair directly on top of you.

5- Faramir is a sleep mask and headphones type of guy, and the window will remain closed. Eowyn’s longing glances to the right may be overlooked, but she’s also the type to monologue at increasing volume if you get to chatting and reach a topic she’s passionate about. Seat 5 is my personal choice.

6- Depending where the relationship dynamic is at at this point, it’s a coin toss between “Grandpa’s War Stories” and 8 straight hours of “I’m Not Touching You”, “Stop Hitting Yourself” type shenanigans on both sides. Also, putting the Dwarf in the window seat was a bad idea. You KNOW he gets airsick, and placing him in a corner directly between the only three elves was an act of direct biological warfare on the side of the airline.

7- Not the worst choice, as long as you don’t ask any questions about the family. Boromir is the type to share his political opinions at length unprompted, though, and responding in any way will only make it worse.

8- You are not cool enough to sit here.

9- This is an aisle seat, which is good, because you can get up to fake a bathroom visit when the vibes get too bad. Feels like going on a road trip with your dysfunctional parents only for them to announce their turbulent and resentful impending divorce mid way through. When it’s good, Galadriel and Gandalf will lean around you for a catty bitch sesh without you, which will also be bad, but at least you can listen in on the hottest gossip. Only gets worse when the edible Gandalf pops at take-off finally kicks in.

[uhhhhmanda]

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.