I am involuntary orange

fandom citrus with a lot of wasted potential. AO3: involuntaryorange

[tinytimism]

imagine it’s 1985 and you’re in love with someone but haven’t told them yet and it’s killing you inside and you’re so horny you’re practically in heat. and then bruce springsteen drops i’m on fire

[involuntaryorange]

I'm still desperately waiting for The National to cover "I'm On Fire" and create the Mood Singularity that will destroy the world (positive)

[sailorsruin92]

Massaged to death by a mermaid with a hi-tech twist 💁

Prompts: Beach and Technology

[involuntaryorange]

Ed's back tattoo:

TRUST

₦ṍ ȬℕɆ

[involuntaryorange]

Coming back to tumblr after like 5 years away is like going to your 20-year high school reunion. Like, "I wonder what fandoms everyone is in now. Huh, 9-1-1? Did not realize that was a thing"

[involuntaryorange]

Okay, hear me out: Ed as Cher in the "If I Could Turn Back Time" video. Stede is the captain of the ship, and is very concerned about Ed's safety, especially when he starts straddling the cannons.

[involuntaryorange]

As they set up for the performance, Ed is laying it on THICK, flirting with Stede as obviously as he possibly can, and Stede remains clueless. Ed spins around like "do you like my outfit?" and Stede compliments him on the "very artistic tattoos on your derriere."

During the performance, Ed struts over to Stede and steals his cap to wear. Stede assumes it's because Ed's head is cold.

[involuntaryorange]

Okay, hear me out: Ed as Cher in the "If I Could Turn Back Time" video. Stede is the captain of the ship, and is very concerned about Ed's safety, especially when he starts straddling the cannons.

[involuntaryorange]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, 69 (Sex Position), except not really, Fluff and Smut, Fluffersmutter, Humor, comedic misunderstandings Summary:

Stede discovers sixty-nining. Or so he thinks.

I’m still alive! I wrote a new fic!

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

The Fuckery of Art

by involuntaryorange

Edward Teach is sick of being Blackbeard, the “bad boy of performance art.” He decides to take a painting class with famous(ly bland) landscape painter Stede Bonnet.

If you guessed that they’re going to fall in love, you’re right.

Words: 4217, Chapters: 3/12, Language: English

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Artist Stede Bonnet, Fluff, Slow Burn, Is it still a slow burn if it’s incredibly awkward, Or is that more of a slow falling-down-the-stairs, Falling In Love

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/41788335

[involuntaryorange]

Hi everyone! I’m still alive! And (still?) writing fic! I’ve got the OFMD brainrot like everyone else.

[eucalyptus-sage]

im still not over the one fic i read where the character tries to sleep with students of all the ivy league schools and at the end the author goes "I've only ever done 1, and that's from the one i went to. Oh well, good to have life goals."

like the big dick energy in that is astounding

like first you're taken aback by the fact that they've fucked someone from an Ivy League, then you're hit with the info that they went to an ivy league, and then you're hit with the sex bucket list nonchalance and it all ties up in one absolutely badass package. it's fantastic. best author's note I've ever read.

[involuntaryorange]

This is an extremely delayed response, but I just have to say I have never before been described as having BDE and seeing this honestly made my week. Possibly my month.

[involuntaryorange]

[justgot1]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I’m only halfway through this fic and am just going to go ahead and rec it because it’s stunning. Outsider POV of Crowley seeking therapy for the trauma of his — well, everything, written by someone who is either a therapist themselves or has researched the hell out of it. NO SPOILERS if you’ve finished it already, I’m really enjoying watching it unfold.

[ghostrepeater]

@involuntaryorange recced this to me and i wholeheartedly agree: it is gorgeous

[involuntaryorange]

It's truly exceptional!

[fuckyeahprodigalson]

Michael Sheen is a savage… :D

So that’s why he has those handcuffs always ready:

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Michael must have quite enjoyed shooting the French Revolution scene :D

[involuntaryorange]

Michael Sheen can’t stop won’t stop being chained up

[mostweakhamlets]

An odd fetish I heard about was flattened people. Like... cartoons flattened by hammers or Flat Stanley things. Fairly odd imo

lmao WHAT 

again no judgment but like what’s with the fatal fetishes??

[involuntaryorange]

I have this theory that a good 50% of fetishes that adults have these days can be attributed to watching “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” at a young age.

[kedgeree11]

Inktober Day 3: “Bait”

[squidpus]

Crowley’s not allowed to make presentations anymore.

Also Hell had to have upgraded to PowerPoint eventually.

[squidpus]

pls consider: Crowley has a human tattoo of himself when he’s in his snake form.

(it’s drawn on - psa don’t actually draw on ur reptiles)

[involuntaryorange]

The first time Crowley sees Aziraphale naked, a few weeks after the Apocalapse, he rears back in shock.

“Is something wrong?” Aziraphale asks.

Crowley’s mouth works silently for a few moments. “What is that,” he finally manages, although he can’t muster up a question mark.

“What is what?” Aziraphale looks down at his own body, following Crowley’s eyeline. “My penis? Oh no, did I do it wrong?” He pokes at it anxiously. “Is it too small?”

A sound rips from Crowley’s throat. It could be a hysterical laugh or it could be a scream. “Too small? Too small? How big do you think they normally are?”

Because Aziraphale is, to put it politely, well-endowed. To put it less politely, he has an absolute monster of a knob. A titanic cock. Porn stars would weep and recoil in fear. A stallion would be jealous. It would be comical if it weren’t so intimidating.

In lieu of answering, Aziraphale's hands flutter about as though looking for pockets to hide in. Not like there’d be much room for hands in his trousers, Crowley thinks, wildly.

“How long have you been walking around with that— that thing?”

“Hm. I manifested it sometime during the Renaissance. Codpieces were all the rage, you know; needed something to fill it out.”

“Those must have been some bloody enormous codpieces.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale looks at his own genitals consideringly. “Is my penis large?”

“Is it large. Is it large. I’m half expecting Moses to come down from it with the Ten Commandments.”

“Well, I have no frame of reference! I— er— I haven’t had much exposure to them in the flesh, as it were.”

“Then how, pray tell, did you decide on the size?”

Aziraphale shifts uncomfortably. “Erm, I looked at some medieval manuscripts...”

“Angel.” Crowley rubs his eyes. “You’re telling me that you based your genital configuration on the pornographic doodles some horny monks drew in the margins of manuscripts?”

“I didn’t realize they were so unrealistic!”

“How do you even find trousers that fit?”

Aziraphale, red with embarrassment, grumbles. “Fine. You’ve made your point. I’ll shrink it down to a more reasonable size.”

“Now wait just a second,” Crowley says. “Let’s not be hasty.”

Aziraphale arches an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh, really.”

[involuntaryorange]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Crack, Idiots in Love, Aziraphale thinks he can cook, Aziraphale is almost entirely wrong Summary: If there’s one thing the fandom agrees on other than Aziraphale’s sheer perfection, it’s this: don’t, under any circumstances, attempt his recipes.

Inspired by @mostweakhamlets, written on a whim, unbeta-ed, 100% crack.