usually about the Chris Evans thing, the problem is not just the fans. Is also those “readers” who keep promoting that behavior. And honestly some of them are fans of Chris. But is crazy to see how readers talk so DOWN on his wife just because they are together. Everyone that talks bad about her are mostly tarot readers and they encourage that behavior. You should see the reader on YouTube and you would understand me.
and also, his fans have a problem with parasocial relationships. And I am going to be completely honest even though if I appear to be a body shamming, Chris would never be with one of those hard fans of his. It doesn’t matter how well they copy the so called future spouse, they would never achieve the joy of Chris looking at them. Most of them are ugly, overweight and with bad skin. And DARE TO CALL HIS CURRENT WIFE UGLY. Where have any of you have seen a guy like Chris with a girl like them? Let that sink in!
Like I said, people use tarot to essentially spiritually stalk their faves and it's weird. You mean to tell me you're going to spend hours in your little mind looking at these little fancy pictures and create stories in your head for no other reason than hoping that someone whom you don't physically know will get with or marry someone that fits your standards if it isn't you knowing damn well that it is both not you and that since it's not you you're going to hate them anyways even if he is the most happiest he's ever been? That doesn't sound sick in the head to you?
I won't condone anything that could be body shaming because anyone can like anyone. Chris Evans could have a thing for unconventional beauty standards and that would be no one else's business but his own. Leonardo DiCaprio's future spouse could be someone that is 300lbs or has a crooked nose or has cystic acne and that not be an issue because love is love and that's what fate has for him if so and it wouldn't matter to anyone else cause it isn't our life it's theirs. If you deeply love someone, those things wouldn't matter even if they can "be fixed". Also everyone is beautiful in their own way. But you are right though,
No matter how much you try to copy the descriptions of someone else's future spouse, you will never be that spouse simply because you had to copy them. No one is going to go for a copy of the original and you cannot be the original if you already aren't the original. You are not going to magically become someones future spouse because all of this is predetermined. Get over yourself and work on yourself to find your own future spouse and be happy and let your fav be happy with who they're meant to be with holy fucking air ball.
I promise you, no one who is happy with their life is going to spend hours on the internet mocking people for how the look solely because they're dating their fav. I don't want to come off mean but it says a lot about someone who does that and it is quite sad to witness someone throw away their life and their own potential because they so desperately want to be someone other than themselves and not do the actual work to achieve that.
and let's not talk about how people are so afraid of non standard relationships and things that they can't even consider the mere idea of a possibility that their fav isn't bone straight with a preference for skinny people. with how many ways that bodies and love are presented in this world, it would be statistically unsound for that to be the case.
Why there are so many people claiming to be BTS' future spouses?
What is the main reason on why so many people think they're their future spouses?
╰┈➤ the hermit, 4 of cups, the tower, 10 of swords, the devil, 8 of swords, 5 of cups, hanged man, the high priestess.
So I already see with the hermit card, that it affects people that are usually lonely, maybe people with not a lot of friends or people who are shy and introverted, the 4 of cups suggests that it affects mainly people who don't have a really good life or don't have that good of a social life, again there's a pattern surrounding loneliness. The tower card however, paired with the 10 of swords, indicates a fall of one's emotions, it happens mostly to those who are hurt emotionally, that has been going through something tragic and traumatic in their life. Those who are lonely and wants to experience love to the fullest, and they end up in a toxic cycle of obsession and limerence, hence the devil card with the 8 of swords, it's a mental trap built by the ego. The high priestess here, doesn't necessarily indicate that the connection is pure and spiritual, but it indicate that the mind is clouded by the ego. convincing oneself that it's all real, when it's not, the soul is screaming for freedom and to let it go, that's why the hanged man came out too, because you're not operating from a soul perspective, you're experiencing a false awakening disguised as a spiritual connection, when it's just limerence. You're being guided by the devil card instead of being guided by the high priestess. The oracle cards I got also explain perfectly everything I said, but in more detail, as I got the wasp card, this is a card about potential threats, it's about agression and also about a wake up call to follow your true path, when this card comes out it usually means that you're in the wrong direction, and that you need to assert yourself ASAP to follow your true path. The second oracle card I got is the parrot, the parrot is a bird well known for talking too much and repeating the same words over and over again, this card suggests that being quiet is better than telling the world how you feel, if you feel a strong connection to someone, you shouldn't tell anyone, as it will bring you pain and destruction into your life (hence the tower card), the third animal card I got is the groundhog, again this is a card about letting go, I see it with another oracle card I pulled that it says letting go on it, so there is a repeating pattern of letting things go, as they're not yours and will never be. The runner card, with the love, engagement, ring, and not today, I also pulled one more tarot card and I got the 7 of cups. So much sense, cause the runner is about a one sided love, it's codependency, it's running from someone's problems and not wanting to deal with them, the not today card talks about not wanting to hear the truth and not wanting to deal with things, the love card with the engagement rings, you might see this idol as your future partner, as someone you'll end up with, but the 7 of cups suggests that it's all an illusion, you're seeing things from a rose colored glass, and the last card I got is discernment, learn to see what's real and what's not.
The cause and effect of believing you're a future spouse of a member.
╰┈➤ 4 of swords, 10 of wands, 5 of pentacles, wheel of fortune, 2 of swords, the hermit, the devil, page of swords.
It causes mental confusion, contemplation and uncertainty, it can cause mental overload. The wheel of fortune followed by the 2 of swords here indicates a disruption and delay of someone's destiny, the 2 of swords is depicted by a person who's blindfolded, holding two swords in a cross position, indicates someone who is unable to see the truth, someone who don't want to accept the truth, you reached a stalemate, and your destined path was put on hold, you can't move forward until you find yourself again, your judgement is clouded, and the devil with the page of swords indicates that you might believe in something that it isn't real. You're being manipulated by outside forces too into convincing you that you are the one, when you're not. The oracles I got are wedding rings, separation and hammer, very telling, as the wedding rings card talks about soul connections, the separation cards talk about yearning and uncertainty, the hammer card is about self sabotage and repetition, it's similar to the previous parrot card as talking about it online will only ruin yourself and your reputation. The last two cards I got are discernment (again) and breaking free. Not everything it's what it seems, ironically I pulled another oracle card and the "let it go" card came out.
Are those people telling the truth?
╰┈➤ 7 of swords, 6 of wands, the moon, the hanged man, 2 of cups, 7 of cups
No, but they might believe that it's the truth. The 7 of swords is a card about lying, while the moon and 7 of cups are about illusions, they could think that they're telling the truth. The moon also talks about the subconcious and dreams, they might have a very idealized version of these idols and they are convinced they can pull them off, when the hanged man says that it's not gonna happen anytime soon, I pulled two clarifiers and I got the 3 of swords with the star, exactly what I said, truth hurts, but they are idealizing and fantasizing about these idols because they have feelings for them, feelings that these idols will never reciprocate. The oracles I got are the snake, mirror and karmic relationship, the snake is about enemies, it's about competition and wanting to be better than everyone else, the mirror is about narcissism, it's about mirroring, so it's possible that these people sees the members in themselves, the karmic relationship, self explanatory, as it's about a toxic relationship, it's also about learning a lesson and letting go, again a pattern surrounding letting it go, as it is not your business or something you should be focusing on, they're basically saying that it's all in your head, and that your soul is screaming to let them go, as they're not meant for you.
What are their true intentions?
╰┈➤ 8 of cups, 8 of swords, the high priestess, the empress, the sun, the star, 3 of swords, 2 of cups, 9 of swords
It seems here that their intuition is not very open as they feel trapped by their own ego and fantasies. The sun with the star suggests that they don't have necessarily bad intentions, but that they want to make themselves known to the public, especially because of the 2 of cups and the twin flame oracle I just pulled, however, the 3 of swords and of 9 swords talks about an imbalance when it comes to this, not everything is the truth, I also pulled the awareness oracle card so they're very self aware of what they're doing. 3 more cards that I pulled are the 6 of cups, 10 of swords and the tower, this game is not going to last longer, as I'm seeing a pattern surrounding the past, it might not be the first time they're doing this, as I pulled the mind card, they're being strategic, but not entirely slick. They are showing me that scene from the first Shrek movie where he and Donkey go to save Fiona and he ends up in the tower surrounded by fire and the dragon, this has a correlation with the tower card, but the scene is about Shrek being the savior, cause he saves Fiona from being locked up in that tower. Maybe they have this savior mentality, where they just want to "heal" and save the community, Fiona was also an ogre disguised as a human, so this makes me think of someone being 2 faced and hiding their true self. I pulled some more cards and I got the 5 of wands, the tower, the moon, the devil and 4 of cups, and I see the 8 of swords peeking out from the deck as well, the 5 of wands with the tower means drama, fights and arguments, it's also about someone being on the defense and being competitive. It's a toxic energy, and they're mostly doing out of boredom.
Are the member's higher selves aware of this?
╰┈➤ wheel of fortune, the hermit, 4 of pentacles, the tower, the devil, the high priestess, the fool, 7 of cups.
It's very interesting how the first card that came out is the wheel of fortune, there is something about destiny here, but the clarifiers I pulled are the 8 of cups and the moon, which means there's is some sort of misdirection from their spirits and higher selves, they know it's not part of your path, and they're trying to let you know that, they're guiding you into a path of introspection, and making you realize that this isn't what you're supposed to be doing. The 4 of pentacles, clarified by the 7 of swords, their higher selves are very much aware, and they are protective af, they lie, cause the 7 of swords indicates lies and deception, since the moon and the 7 of cups showed up again, it indicate that they are showing you the truth, but you refuse to accept it. The tower and the devil, a downfall of the ego mind, followed by the high priestess, I see that the high priestess is being hidden by the devil, like intuition is being hidden by the ego, and in this case, it shows that their higher selves and spirits, are telling you that you are manipulating the energies and interfering with your own destiny (the wheel of fortune) by following the wrong purpose of your life. Don't be fooled by the illusions around you. The oracles I got are lightning, soulmates, not today and sunglasses, with the amount of times I shuffled these decks and yet the discernment card came out again. Use your discernment, see beyond the illusions. The truth is right in front of you, why are you avoiding it? The sunglasses card is about stalking, gaslighting and being out of focus from something. The soulmate card, surrounded by these other cards, they're saying that it's all an illusion.
What about their real future spouse and soulmates?
╰┈➤ 10 of cups, the lovers, the high priestess, 3 of pentacles, 8 of cups, 6 of wands, the moon, the devil, 6 of cups
They showed me a hare for some reason and my head really hurts out of the blue which means that spirits are being very careful about these topics, and they don't let anyone read for them as the devil indicates obsession, the oracles I got are the chaser and the runner, interesting combo cause they go hand in hand, it's like their soulmate's higher selves are being very detached from this whole situation and they don't wanna reveal anything as they gave me the separation card with the 8 of cups, while the readers are the runners, people who wants to know everything about them, since it's also a card about obsession and stalking. There's lots of talks around them but the moon shows illusions, nothing is what it seems. If a person knew they were their soulmate they wouldn't come here telling people about it. The high priestess here indicate spiritual protection, and an energy that cannot be accessed in any way.
the spiritual/tarot community (YouTube, Twitter, ETC) and the K-POP tarot community (#tarotblr) are competing against each other...over me. two groups "fighting" over who is right...about me.
this is actually fucking hilarious... if it wasn't so sad.
y'all need to get energetically blocked FFR. and y'all need to make up your mind. either I am the person or I'm not.
(and yes, I'm one of you. so please, let's not do anything stupid.)
🔮 preview. Wonwoo wears glasses, but he’s not blind. He knows you’re a very gorgeous girl, and you’re sweet and smart to top it all off. He’s used to restricting himself, not allowing visions of you in compromising situations to pass through his mind’s eye, although this image is strictly medical, and he knows it shouldn’t stir something inside of him, but it does anyway, and a wave of shame passes over him as a result.
tw/cw. Protected sex, lots of talk about birth control/IUD’s in specific, awkward warning, fingering, praise, dirty talk, Wonwoo’s a touch pervy, dry humping, grinding, foreplay, multiple reader orgasms, orgasming together, breast/body worship, etc…
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.7k
🍭 aus. Best friends to lovers, nurse!Wonwoo, roommates au, crack/comedy, realism, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. I’m not going to lie, this one is awkward comedy crack realism. I thought it would be funny to touch base on birth control, and some of the weird things that happen with IUDs. while birth control is often mentioned in passing in fic, I’ve never seen an in depth thing about it, or a fic with a plot centered around an IUD gone rogue lol. I love awkward nurse bestie Wonwoo, and I hope you do too!
Prologue:
“You look tense,” Wonwoo, your best friend, notes as you sit down with him in the library. “What was that phone call about?”
“It was my roommate Sumi,” you sigh. “She’s decided to move in with her boyfriend, and now I don’t know how I’m going to afford the apartment.”
The nursing major pushes his glasses back up his nose, studying you in the quizical way he’s been studying everyone since you were children. “So what are you thinking?”
“I don’t know. Give up the lease? Move out of my dream apartment on campus and go live with my parents, deal with the two-hour commute-” Even thinking about it is making your heart race with anxiety, and you let out a huff, putting your head down on the table.
“There are other options,” Wonwoo points out.
“Like what?”
“Find another roommate.”
“Sumi was enough of a mess to live with, and she’s been my friend since I met her at the welcome-to-university day last year. Where am I going to find a nice, quiet roommate, who doesn’t bring her boyfriend over to bang every night or want to throw parties or leave the kitchen a mess-”
Wonwoo chuckles, leaning back in his chair as he watches your meltdown.
“If it’s not weird, I could move in with you,” he offers once your rant ends.
You stare at him.
Wonwoo’s been your best friend since grade school, and although the two of you are super close, you’d never considered a coed living situation with him. You know he’s a clean freak with a hint of ocd, it’s part of the reason he’s doing so well with his nursing classes- but, could you really live with him?
You’ve always found Wonwoo to be attractive, well, the attraction had grown in high school when the thin sweetheart had grown out a bit, his shoulders broadening and his baby fat disappearing with frequent stints at the gym.
“Would you really do that?” you ask. “Move in with me?”
Wonwoo shrugs. “My lease is up on my one-bedroom. Your place is actually on campus, so I wouldn’t have to commute thirty minutes to and from school. We’re comfortable with each other, and we’ve been friends long enough to sort out any roommate growing pains. I think it could work out.”
He’s always so reasonable, so logical, and staring at this man, you realize he’s found the perfect solution to your problem, just as he always does.
“You know what, Wonwoo?” You let out a breath and find yourself smiling. “Let’s be roommates.”
One:
Before you’d moved in with Wonwoo, you two had been extremely close, but after a year and a half of living together, the only way you could be closer is if he was literally inside of you and fucking your brains out every day.
It’s because of this closeness, as well as his major, that you go to him when you begin to have stomach aches that persist for two weeks.
The nurse-to-be is sitting in the living room, reading through a textbook with a notepad to jot on when you approach.
“Hey, I’ve got a question for you,” you say, taking a seat next to him.
“What’s up?” he asks, immediately putting his studies to the side to focus on you.
“I’ve been having these stomach aches,” you sigh.
“Has your diet or water intake changed recently?”
“No.”
“So you’re eating properly and not resorting to a one hundred percent ramen-based diet like you did last final season?”
You laugh, pushing his knee. “No, I’m being good, I promise!”
He studies you carefully. “What kind of stomach pain?”
“Sometimes it’s sharp, and sometimes it’s like a dull ache.”
“Show me the location?”
Releasing a sigh, you bring your hand to your lower abdomen. “It’s kind of around here.”
Wonwoo looks down at the spot you’re indicating, then back up to you. “When was your last period?”
“Like… two weeks ago?”
“So you’re not due for one, which means it’s not period pains.”
“I know period pains,” you assure him, “and this is different.”
“Would you say it’s in a similar location to your usual period pains?”
You know his line of questioning immediately, and you let out a scoff. “I’m not pregnant, Wonwoo. We both know this is a celibate apartment since we’re married to our studies, and besides, I have an IUD.”
Wonwoo nods, and you can see the wheels in his mind turning. “How long have you had the IUD?”
You shrug. “I don’t know, a couple of years? Why is that relevant?”
“Well, I don’t know much about birth control, but I do know that sometimes IUDs or other birth control implants can… shift.”
Shift.
The word sounds so ominous, and you can’t help the mortified expression that crosses your face. “My IUD hasn’t shifted,” you insist. “That can’t be what’s happening.”
Wonwoo shrugs. “If you say so.”
Your mouth feels dry, and the idea that the tiny foreign birth control object inside of you has shifted makes you feel nauseous, so you’re impatient to change the subject.
“I’m sure it’s just anxiety or something,” you tell him, letting out a deep breath.
“Keep an eye on it, and let me know if the stomach pain persists. If you need me to take you to the on-campus hospital, I’m sure they’d figure it out for you. Give an ultrasound if they think it’s IUD-related, or offer alternative possibilities.”
“I appreciate that, but I’m sure it’s nothing,” you insist. For someone who’s best friends with a nurse, you don’t like hospitals very much, and getting the IUD inserted had been a traumatic enough experience to deter you from anything gynecological until the timeline on your implant has ended. You’ve got a couple of years until you’ll need to get the bugger taken out, and nothing is going to inspire you to go check on it, especially not a recurring stomach ache.
Two:
Wonwoo’s walking to a seminar with his classmate Yeji when you pop into his mind. It’s been a couple of days since you told him about your stomach aches, and he wants a female perspective on it.
He’s heard horror stories about IUDs and other forms of birth control, but Wonwoo’s man enough to admit he doesn’t know enough about the subject.
“Hey, Yeji?” Wonwoo asks.
“What’s up?” she responds, not looking up from her phone, where she’s looking over notes to prep for the seminar.
“So my roommate mentioned she’s been having cramps for a while-”
“Is she eating and drinking water okay?”
“Yeah, she’s good.”
“How about alcohol?”
“Neither of us are big drinkers,” Wonwoo admits.
“Okay, what about her period?”
Wonwoo loves how Yeji is asking all the questions he’d asked, it’s a sign he was doing the right line of enquiry. Wonwoo respects his classmate, and to know they have the same thought process is encouraging.
“She’s not due for it yet, not for another week or two.”
“Is she on birth control?”
“An IUD.”
Yeji looks up from her phone, and there’s a knowing twinkle in her eye, making Wonwoo chuckle.
“Yeah,” he sighs. “I think we’re thinking the same thing.”
“It’s probably an IUD-related issue,” Yeji confirms. “Was the pain in her lower abdomen?”
“Uh huh.”
“Kind of like an ache, but sometimes sharp feelings too?”
“Yeah.”
“She has to check for her strings,” Yeji deduces.
There’s an immediate rush of embarrassment and heat to Wonwoo’s ears, and his voice cracks when he repeats, “Check for her strings?”
“You know, reach up in there and see if she can feel them. That’s a good way to see if the IUD is in place without needing an ultrasound or a trip to the hospital.”
Wonwoo swallows thickly. He’s a nurse, and physical things like this shouldn’t affect him so much, but there’s something about the notion of you checking for your own strings-
Wonwoo wears glasses, but he’s not blind. He knows you’re a very gorgeous girl, and you’re sweet and smart to top it all off. He’s used to restricting himself, not allowing visions of you in compromising situations to pass through his mind’s eye, although this image is strictly medical, and he knows it shouldn’t stir something inside of him, but it does anyway, and a wave of shame passes over him as a result.
“I’ll uh,” Wonwoo coughs, “I’ll pass on the message to her.”
“It’s good to check your strings frequently,” Yeji continues, completely oblivious to Wonwoo’s discomfort. “If she has any sexual partners-”
“She’s single,” Wonwoo interjects, unable to help himself.
“Well, IUDs can be knocked out of place even without something poking at them, so you never know,” Yeji shrugs.
God, Wonwoo had known there would be challenges that came with living with a member of the opposite sex, but he’d never imagined having to discuss female anatomy, birth control, and the checking of IUD strings.
Three:
You’re sweating.
One foot is up on the bathtub, the other firmly on the ground, and you’re bent at an odd angle trying to reach inside of yourself to find some stupid IUD strings.
Wonwoo had come home and shyly told you that there’s an at-home way to check for IUD shifting, and you’d been less than enthusiastic about it- but more enthused about the idea of checking yourself than going to a clinic and having someone else do it for you.
This whole thing is awkward, and try as you might, you simply can’t feel any strings inside of you.
With a sigh of annoyance, you pull your fingers away, removing your foot from the tub so you can wash your hands.
Your heart is racing, panic and anxiety setting in- if the strings aren’t there, that means the IUD is misplaced, which means a gyno visit, which might actually be the end of the world for you right now.
You’re not ready to accept that fate, and desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Wonwoo?” you call, finding your best friend in the living room.
He looks as nervous as you feel, which is a foreign emotion on the generally stoic man’s face.
“Did you find them?” he asks.
You shake your head.
“Well, what if we go to an urgent care clinic? Or set up an appointment with your doctor?” he suggests.
“My doctor is a man, and the clinics might have a male doctor, and they’d probably want to check on the spot without sending a referral to the place that put the IUD in, and- Well,” you can feel tears burning in your eyes, “I really don’t have the mental capacity to have a man I don’t know looking up inside me right now-”
“I could call Yeji-”
“I don’t even know Yeji,” you groan. “This whole thing is so fucking awkward.”
“So.. what are you going to do?”
“I hate to ask this…” correction, you can’t believe you’re about to ask this, “but… could you maybe… would you, uh… do you maybe want to help me check for the strings?”
Wonwoo simply stares at you.
“Please?”
He swallows thickly. “I’ll go get some surgical gloves.”
You’re doing this, and you’ve just got to suck it up. As awkward as the idea is of your childhood best friend fingering you to find some fucking IUD strings is, the notion of some random man at a hospital doing it is even worse.
While Wonwoo is getting gloves, you go to your room to change into a dress. That way, you’ll be covered, but there will still be easy access.
Once you’re dressed, you head to the bathroom, where you find Wonwoo waiting. There’s a bottle of lube on the sink, and it’s clear he’s slicked up his gloved fingers in preparation.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a walk-in?” he asks, and you can tell from the pink of his ears that he’s as awkward about this as you are.
“Wonwoo, you’re just going to close your eyes, put your fingers into something, and see if strings poke you,” you tell him, letting out a deep breath. “It will be simple.” You’re trying to convince yourself, but it’s not working.
Now it’s Wonwoo’s turn to sigh. He kneels down on the floor, then actually closes his eyes.
“Can you guide my hand?” he asks.
“Yeah.” You swallow a lump in your throat, reaching to grab his wrist. Slowly, you bring his fingers between your thighs. “It’s uh, right here.”
The first contact of Wonwoo’s gloved digits on your core has you jolting, and your skin immediately heats with embarrassment.
“After this one, remind me to never get another IUD,” you groan.
“There are other methods,” he muses, his fingers gently slipping into you with aid from the lube.
“I don’t want pills or an implant, or a shot, or one of those diva cup ring things,” you insist.
“Condoms are pretty dependable.”
“Yeah, if a man actually wants to wear one. Most guys are such crybabies about a bit of rubber that they’d rather put their girlfriend through humiliation of IUD insertion, or the trauma of pills that fuck up your emotions and body-”
You’re so busy ranting that you almost don’t notice Wonwoo’s fingers pushing deeper, but then he begins searching around, and he accidentally makes contact with your G-spot, which immediately makes you choke on your words.
“Sorry,” Wonwoo says softly. “Uh, tell me more about bad birth control?”
“Yeah, uh…” God, you can feel yourself sweating, and you can’t bring yourself to look down at Wonwoo, so you close your eyes, tilting your head back to focus on your female rage rather than your hot best friend inspecting your pussy for IUD strings. “The fact that men get sedation or whatever for vasectomies but women still have to get this shit inserted with no local anasthesia or anything, it’s barbaric and misogynistic, not to mention anti-woman.”
“That definitely sounds like a double standard,” Wonwoo agrees.
“If men had to endure the pain we do for an IUD male equivalent procedure, they’d for sure get full sedation and pain meds,” you declare.
“You’re probably right about that.”
“Wonwoo?”
“Yeah?”
“Please tell me you can feel the fucking strings.”
“No luck, yet. Sorry.”
You groan. “You uh… feel pretty deep in there.”
“I’ve got long fingers.”
“Yeah, that’s why I wanted you to do this.”
“If I’m being honest, I think we should call it. I can’t find any strings.”
“Just…” You swallow the lump in your throat. “One more minute.”
“If you say so.”
A bead of sweat rolls down your neck, your heart racing in your chest.
Please find the strings. Please for the love of God-
“Wait, I think something just poked me!” Wonwoo tells you, and your eyes flash open.
“Is it the strings!?”
He pushes his fingers just a touch deeper, and after a moment, Wonwoo nods. “I think it’s the strings!”
“Thank God!” you practically scream.
In response, Wonwoo tears his hand away from you, and you immediately cover yourself with your dress again.
Your best friend opens his eyes and looks up at you. “We found the strings, but I still think you should get a referral for a minimally invasive ultrasound just to make sure it’s in place where it should be.”
“Wonwoo, we’re going to celebrate the small wins,” you tell him. “And we are also never going to speak of this ever again to anyone, do you understand?”
He nods solemnly. “I have zero memory of anything that just took place.”
“Good boy.”
Four:
As someone who’s entering the medical field, Wonwoo knows he’s not supposed to feel weird about the human body.
After all, a body is just a body.
But… there’s something about the fact that he was just up and close with your body, and he feels ashamed that the whole situation is affecting him the way it is.
There shouldn’t be anything sexy about stomach aches and possible misplaced IUDs, and yet… Wonwoo feels flushed every time he thinks about it.
You’ve been best friends since you were both children, but it’s a far reach to say that Wonwoo has ever seen you as a sister. The two of you had been inseparable for your younger years, and when you’d both hit puberty, the dynamic had shifted somewhat.
Sure, you’ve both had significant others, and been supportive of each other in everything- but… Wonwoo can’t pretend he’s not attracted to you.
It’s something he’s always been able to push to the side, after all, he’d never jeopardize your connection for the chance of getting his rocks off. He’s not that kind of man, which is why this whole IUD situation has put him in such an uncomfortable position.
It’s been two days since he checked your strings, and things have felt different. The two of you don’t know how to be around each other now, and that’s evident by the way you both stutter and give each other a wide berth in the kitchen at dinner time.
Wonwoo can feel his skin getting warm as he steps back to give you space to move to the fridge, and he swallows the lump in his throat, uncomfortably adjusting his glasses.
“I feel like maybe we both need a drink,” you say with a deep sigh.
The two of you are not big on alcohol, but there’s a mixed spirit drink bottle in the top cupboard for extreme situations, and this definitely feels like the right time for it.
Wonwoo helps you pour the liquid into two large glasses, and with an awkward smile, you clink your cup to his own before taking a sip.
“Let’s watch something,” you suggest next, and the two of you go to the living room.
You’re both interested in Netflix documentaries, and you find one that looks interesting. It’s something to get your mind off of things, but as Wonwoo continues to drink, his thoughts start to wander.
As a non-drinker, Wonwoo’s tolerance is substantially lower than he’d like it to be, and he can feel his skin heating. His mind feels fuzzy now, and his gaze keeps slipping over to you.
The two of you can’t live this way.
You just can’t.
Things can’t be this awkward forever, and if there was ever a time to tell you he’s into you as more than a friend, it would be now.
One episode of the documentary finishes, and as the screen cuts to credits, Wonwoo lets out an extremely deep breath.
“I need to tell you something,” he states.
“God.” You immediately hide your face, nearly knocking over your drink in the process. “What is it?”
“I don’t want things to be awkward between us because I had to help you find your IUD strings,” Wonwoo says first.
“Well, there’s not much we can do about it, can we?”
“I like you.”
“Huh?” You look over at him with confusion.
“This might make it more awkward if you don’t feel the same way,” Wonwoo admits, his mouth getting dry. “But… I like you a lot, and… helping you with that whole thing… well, it doesn’t make me see you any differently. In fact, uh… maybe kind of the opposite.”
Wonwoo can’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth.
Did he just admit that being gloved and two fingers deep in your pussy made him even more into you?
Yes. Yes, he did.
“I think maybe it’s time for bed,” you tell him, and his heart sinks in his chest.
“Okay. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, we can talk about it in the morning.”
The two of you stand up after turning the TV off, and Wonwoo doesn’t even know if he should look at you.
Then, surprisingly, you step forward, cupping his face and pressing your lips to his cheek. “Get some sleep,” you tell him.
He stands there in shock as you head to your room, offering him an awkward smile as you close the door behind you.
Wonwoo continues to just exist blankly, unmoving in the living room for a solid five minutes before he’s able to shake himself out of things.
He doesn’t know what the future might bring, but the future is best brought sober.
Five:
You’re sitting in the kitchen when Wonwoo comes out of his room.
Neither of you have classes today, and you’re kind of happy about that, because Wonwoo looks disheveled in a way you’ve never seen him look before.
His glasses are askew, his hair is a curly mess, his eyes have bags under them like he’s hardly slept-
“You okay?” you ask immediately.
Wonwoo lets out a deep breath. “Sorry about last night. I said some things I shouldn’t have, and I probably hurt our friendship-”
“It’s fine,” you assure him.
“No, it’s not. I stepped over a boundary-”
“Wonwoo,” you say his name firmly, grabbing his attention. “You didn’t mess things up. You told me you like me, and I wanted to say it back, but you were drunk, and I thought it would be best to tell you when you were sober, or at least… hungover or something.”
Wonwoo blinks at you. His lips part, but he’s not able to speak for a few moments. “You like me too?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Like… as more than a friend?”
“I mean, you and I have been inseparable since we were kids. I’ve always had a crush on you, Wonwoo, but I pushed it aside for our friendship.”
“So did I.”
“Who knew all it would take was an IUD and a very awkward situation of trying to find us for us to admit this sort of thing?” You let out a small laugh, and Wonwoo joins in with you, which eases your anxieties.
“So…” He swallows thickly. “What now?”
“We could just watch movies and hang out today, you know, like a lazy Sunday date.”
“But we watch movies and hang out all the time, shouldn’t I… I don’t know, take you out for brunch or something?” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Well, I was thinking, while watching our show, we could cuddle, which isn’t something we’ve ever done.”
“I think I would like that,” Wonwoo admits.
“How about you go find us a new show, and I’ll make you some ramen. It looks like you need some food.”
Wonwoo nods, moving to the living room while you get water boiling for the noodles.
You’re trying to hide it, but you feel jittery. At the same time, the awkward atmosphere has shifted. Things feel a touch back to normal, but amplified in a way. No longer are you just making food for your roommate; you’re making food for a man who likes you the way you like him.
Suddenly, things feel domestic in a way they’ve never felt before, and that sensation brings you joy as you prepare the ramen and join Wonwoo in the living room.
The two of you agree on a show, and in the first fifteen minutes, Wonwoo slowly eats and sips on water.
Once he’s finished, he sets the bowl to the side.
“So… do you want to move closer?” he asks.
Your heart is racing as you snuggle up to his side, and Wonwoo’s arm goes around you like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
You release a deep sigh, already very comfortable, and it’s in this position that you spend most of the day.
The whole documentary miniseries you’re watching comes to a conclusion, and you shift. You sit back up to stretch, and Wonwoo watches you.
When you let out a sigh and allow your arms to rest by your sides again, Wonwoo finally asks, “Can I kiss you?”
Your heart lurches into your throat, and you swallow it back down.
“Yeah.”
He leans forward, and you mirror the motion.
You stare at your best friend, admiring all the little things about his handsome face.
He cups your cheek, thumb stroking your skin.
The moment feels suspended in time. It feels fast, yet slow, all at once, and then, Wonwoo closes the distance.
His mouth meets yours, hesitantly at first, but when you lean forward, grabbing his shoulders, he relaxes a little.
Neither of you are dreaming this up; it’s real.
You’re kissing your best friend, and fuck, it feels so good.
You love how gentle Wonwoo is, how it’s not immediate intensity. He’s soft, and his motions are tentative, as if he’s trying to figure you out.
Meanwhile, a need is growing inside of you, so you’re the one to take things to the next step. You open your mouth, licking Wonwoo’s lip, and he mirrors you.
A soft moan escapes you, and you shift closer, wanting to be pressed to him, wanting to feel his heart as it races alongside your own.
Things are getting heated fast, and soon, you’re crawling on top of him, straddling his hips on your living room couch.
Wonwoo’s hands stay in a respectable place on your hips, but it’s simply not enough for you anymore.
You reach down, guiding his grip to your bum.
Wonwoo groans beneath you, breaking the kiss to look up at you. “Should we take a minute?”
“Why?”
Wonwoo blushes. “Well, uh…”
That’s when you feel something pressing against your core, and you realize your grinding has caused him to get hard. Your pussy flutters, and you swallow thickly. “Do you really want to stop?”
“Well, I mean… you’ve been having stomach pains. Your IUD might be in the wrong place-”
“You felt the strings, that means it’s there.”
“What if it’s not working?”
“I read online that as long as it’s in me still, it’s likely working.”
“Do you want to risk it?”
You swallow thickly. “I want you.”
“What if this messes things up?”
“It won’t,” you tell him.
“How can you be so sure?”
Wonwoo’s looking at you with such pure eyes, and your heart melts for him. “I just know.”
You can see the moment he gives in.
You’re both putting your friendship on the line, but if there’s one man in the world who you know would never hurt you, it’s Wonwoo.
Slowly, you press your lips to his again.
The momentum is like it was the first time, a gentle, gradual build, and you’re doing your best not to start grinding on him again.
Your body wants one thing, but your mind knows you have to take this slow.
Wonwoo’s a thoughtful man. He’s a thinker. And thoughts don’t easily slip from his head. You don’t want to scare him away, so you meet his pace, allowing him to be the one who instigates progression.
His hand begins to grip your bum again, and you release a moan, kissing him deeper.
Your fingers thread through his hair, gently tugging to earn your own sounds of pleasure.
God, Wonwoo’s so sexy. Your entire body is humming with energy as you make out like teenagers on your living room couch.
You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second, and soon, Wonwoo seems to break too.
He pulls away from the kiss, letting out a groan. “Do you want to go to my room?”
“Okay.”
You’re breathing heavily as you stand up, and you let Wonwoo lead you to his room. Once you’re there, it’s as if the unknowing comes to the surface again. You and Wonwoo look at each other, two people in a room you’ve been in a hundred times, but this time, everything is different.
It’s like starting from ground zero again, both of you tentatively connecting, lips meeting. His hands are on your hips, and the two of you slowly move toward the bed.
You grab the bottom of his shirt, and Wonwoo breaks the kiss to allow you to remove it.
God, his body is so perfect. It’s lean but muscled, and even with his heavy nursing workload, he always finds time to go to the gym.
You remove your hoodie next, revealing the lacy bralette beneath.
Wonwoo swallows thickly, his eyes flicking up to meet your own. His ears are turning pink, and you know he’s shy about checking you out, but unfortunately for him, he’s just going to have to get used to it.
You grab his hand, pulling him to the bed, where you sit down first, looking up at him.
“Can I be honest with you?” you ask.
“Of course.”
“This might be a little awkward for both of us, first times always are,” you note, “but, I think we were always meant to be together, and after this, things will be a lot easier.”
Wonwoo is quiet for a moment, but then he nods. “I agree with that.”
“Try to get out of your own head for a minute, okay?”
“Okay.”
You stroke his hand, and then you guide it to your breast, prompting him to squeeze you gently.
A soft groan escapes your lips. “Feels good.”
Wonwoo swallows thickly, bringing both hands to your breasts so he can massage you through your bralette.
He continues this for a minute before you get too horny, and you reach behind your back to remove the last piece of fabric blocking him from direct contact with your chest.
As the material slips off, Wonwoo takes a sharp breath.
“It’s okay,” you assure him, guiding his hands back. “I like this.”
His thumb brushes over your nipple, and you shiver, core pulsing with interest.
“Here,” you offer, “come sit against the headboard.”
Wonwoo does as you tell him, no questions asked, and once he’s situated, you straddle him like you did on the couch.
Your lips meet, and the kiss is filled with passion. His hands are on your hips, but you grab them, guiding him to your breasts again.
It feels so good to be kissing your best friend while he massages your chest, and you begin to grind down against him, eliciting moans from both of you.
You’re overwhelmed in the best possible way, and you break the kiss, which prompts Wonwoo to kiss your throat, then down to your collar bones- soon, he has your nipple in his mouth, and your whole body lights up with the sensation.
You thread your fingers through his hair, keeping his face pressed against your boobs, a silent plea for him to continue.
Your hips are still swiveling, and you can feel Wonwoo getting harder and harder with each passing second.
Soon, you can’t take it anymore, and you stop. “Let’s get naked.”
“Yeah.”
You get off Wonwoo, standing so you can remove the last of your clothes. He does the same, and then he reaches for his bedside table, removing a condom package and a bottle of lube.
“Condom?” you ask.
“We’re not a hundred percent sure about your IUD yet, and I don’t want to risk anything,” Wonwoo muses.
You decide that if you try to have sex without protection, he’s just going to be in his head, so you promise yourself to get a clean bill of health from your doctor (with perhaps the help of an ultrasound machine), and then you can enjoy the raw feeling of your best friend.
Wonwoo joins you on the bed again, but the condom is still on the side table. It’s clear he wants a bit more foreplay, so you wrap your legs around his hips and draw him close, lips crashing against his own.
The two of you continue to make out, your whole body on fire. One of his hands is still massaging your breast, but then it begins to descend. He rubs your clit, and you whimper, shifting below him for better access.
“Been thinking about fingering you,” he admits.
“Got a taste and you couldn’t forget it, huh?” you tease. “Me neither.”
“Yeah?” He slips two digits into your soaked core.
“Your fingers are just so long, and they fit perfectly. You hit the perfect spot-” you whimper when he touches the exact location you were just talking about. “Fuck, someone’s a fast learner.”
“I noticed how you reacted last time. It wasn’t the time or place then, but I promised to utilize it later if I ever got the chance,” Wonwoo breathes, stroking your g-spot expertly.
Your eyes close, and you give in to the pleasure, whimpering and desperately clutching his shoulders.
Wonwoo’s lips move to your throat, and he worships you, making your mind go blank and your legs numb. God, he’s good with his fingers, repeatedly hitting your G-spot while his palm rubs your clit-
“Don’t stop,” you whimper, feeling your release bubbling already. Foreplay and longing have contributed to a fast unraveling, and Wonwoo just knows what you like. Sure, this is a first time for you both, but he knows enough about you to infer things, and your vocal nature edges him on as he works you closer and closer to the edge.
You’re getting louder and louder, and soon, you’re belting out, “I’m gonna cum!”
Wonwoo finger fucks you even faster, and you explode like a firework. Sparks of jittery energy combust through you, taking over your entire body as Wonwoo pleasures you.
You gasp loudly, and Wonwoo helps you ride out the orgasm with unwavering dedication.
His kisses are a constant on your throat, and he works you through it until your core stops pulsing around his fingers.
Then, Wonwoo removes them.
You’re shocked to open your eyes and see your neat freak best friend lick his digits clean, and your core throbs at the sight.
His cock is completely erect, and it looks beautiful. It’s long, but still thick enough to be balanced, if you can describe a penis as balanced, that is.
Wonwoo reaches for the condom package, and you watch, breathless, as he slides the rubber on.
“You still want this?” he asks.
“More than anything,” you confirm, opening your arms to prompt him to come closer again.
“Do you want me to use lube?” he asks.
“I’m wet enough and we both know it.”
“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he assures you, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.
God, you love this man.
You’ve loved him for years, and you can tell in this moment that you’re very much at risk of being in love with him within the week.
You draw his lips to yours as he adjusts his cock to your core, rubbing the tip between your soaked pussy lips.
Wonwoo is slow about pushing into you, giving your body time to adjust.
You haven’t had sex in a while, so it’s definitely a jump from fingers to cock, and you groan into the kiss as he sheathes himself.
Once his hips are flush to your own, your mouths separate so you can both moan at the sensation. Wonwoo swallows thickly. “Should I move?”
“Yeah,” you nod, eagerly awaiting what’s to come. “Feels good already.”
Wonwoo takes a breath as he begins to thrust, it’s shallow and slow at first, but the pleasure is so great that you find yourself grabbing his shoulders.
Your head falls back against the pillows, eyes closing to enjoy everything Wonwoo is giving you.
As his pace accelerates, he draws your lips to his own again, and you kiss him desperately as he fucks you.
One particularly deep thrust has you squeaking, and Wonwoo pauses, breaking the kiss. “I can definitely feel your strings.”
“What?”
“The IUD, I felt them.”
“Like… on your cock?”
Wonwoo laughs. “Yeah.”
“Is that normal?”
Wonwoo shrugs. “I don’t know much about it. But if my fingers could reach them, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised my dick can.”
When you’d gotten an IUD, you hadn’t known any of this stuff. “Did it hurt?”
“Not really, it was just a feeling.” Wonwoo begins to thrust again, but you can tell he’s keeping it shallower.
If he were to go deeper, you get the sense he’s afraid he might mess up your wonky IUD even more, and while part of you wants him to let go and just decimate you, you respect that he’s being careful.
His lips meet yours again, and the kiss distracts you from all things IUD.
Each thrust is like heaven, and your core is so soaked that every movement is easy.
You’re whimpering more and more, and Wonwoo’s returning your sounds with noises of his own.
Sex hadn’t felt this good all those months ago when you had it last, had it?
No, you think the pleasure is because you’re having sex with Wonwoo, and your whole body warms at the notion.
“You feel so good,” Wonwoo groans, his lips moving to your throat. You love the sensation of his hot breath on your skin, and you thread your fingers through his hair to keep him close.
“Sounds…” you swallow thickly, “sounds like you’re close.”
“Yeah, maybe I need to slow down,” Wonwoo admits.
“It’s okay, neither of us has done this in a long time,” you remind him.
“I don’t want to be a three pump chump.”
You never thought you’d hear that phrase coming from Wonwoo of all people, and it makes you giggle. “You’re not a three pump chump,” you assure him.
“You’re not going to be disappointed?” he asks.
“We can always do this again in twenty minutes or something,” you point out.
“I guess that’s true,” Wonwoo laughs. “I just want to make sure you’re… satisfied.”
“I’ve cum once already, which is more than I can say for the last guy I was dating, so… I think you’re off to a good start.”
Wonwoo lets out a sigh. He never liked your ex.
“Okay,” he says finally. Then he kisses you again, beginning to move.
He’s found the perfect amount of depth. It’s deep, but not so deep that he’s hitting your strings or making you uncomfortable.
You give in to the feeling again, forgetting your little interlude as you’re taken over by pleasure once again.
Wonwoo’s fingers thread with yours, and he begins to moan again, getting close to the edge while pleasure builds within you, too.
“I think I can cum soon,” you tell him between kisses.
Wonwoo doesn’t respond, but his free hand moves between your bodies, and he begins to rub your clit, causing jolts of pleasure to erupt through you again.
You moan desperately, muscles tightening with each pass of his fingers, combined with his cock working your insides.
“Don’t stop,” you whimper, gripping the feeling and refusing to let go as it builds-
Wonwoo lets out another groan, and the sound is so sexy it makes your insides twist into knots-
One more rub of his fingers on your clit has you exploding. Your core clamps down on him like a vice, a strangled gasp escaping you as the fireworks return, sparkling through you.
Wonwoo shivers, fucking you even harder, and a moment later, he lets out his own sound of pleasure. His thrusts falter, and although you can’t feel him filling your insides since he’s filling a condom, you can tell from the pulsing of his cock that he’s cumming too.
Your fingers thread through his hair, and you draw him close, both of you panting in the throes of passion.
His movements stop, and you both just stay still for a few moments, trying to regain composure after two explosive orgasms.
Wonwoo swallows thickly, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips.
Then, he pulls out of you. There’s no mess of cum, no need to clean anything up, so once he’s gone to the bathroom to discard his condom, he returns and collapses into bed with you.
You immediately cuddle up next to his side, releasing a sigh of relief as his arms wrap around you.
For the first time, you can tell Wonwoo’s not thinking about anything, that he’s fully in the moment with you. He looks peaceful, and it makes your heart sing.
Who knew all it would take was an extremely awkward interaction over IUD strings to bring the two of you together like this?
He’s your person, he always has been, and he always will be.
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! IUDs can be a shit show but nurse Wonwoo is so hot.
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below!
🔮 preview. There’s no contraption to break or misplace inside of you, and being birth control free with the intention of pregnancy feels a little something like liberation from the shackles that once dictated your sexual relationship.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.3k I teaser wc. 160
🌙 starring. Jeon Wonwoo x afab!Reader
bonus
You and Wonwoo have been together for four years now, married for one, and life is complete bliss.
Sure, things can be difficult; after all, he’s now a full nurse, and hospital hours can be hectic. But outside of general life ups and downs, your relationship is as solid as it ever has been.
About a month ago, you’d gotten your IUD taken out. It was horribly uncomfortable to get the device removed, but it was almost comical to see the tiny little ‘T’ contraption that had kick-started the most important romantic relationship of your life. You were glad to see the little bugger go, and it’s absence now signifies the start of a new chapter for you and Wonwoo.
In the year you have been married, the two of you have slaved over finances and life planning, and now that your birth control has been removed, your doctor has given you the go-ahead to start trying for a baby.
☀️ to read the full fic AND 2.3k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here
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I mean, he's weird and freaky IRL so this isn't out of the ordinary for him. This is definitely something he might actually do.
(and before y'all come @ me, you've never been to the dark side of kpop #tarotblr so you all know I'm right.)
At least, that's what I tell myself these days. just a brief update, I went ahead and joined this free online challenge (more like a free online course) on how to get clients as a remote (Work-From-Home) employee or freelancer. It was very intensive. There were daily assignments and live classes on Zoom at 6PM.
the good news is that I finished the challenge. I now know how to find and reach out to clients online using emails and private messages on social media accounts.
the bad news is that the market/industry is still the same - they still don't have the money to pay me. it's only gotten worse as most small business are in the recovery phase after my country was hit by a damn Super Typhoon and the capital city was flooded for two days. WTF??
so now I have new skills (YAY!!) and I've finally set up a new side hustle but the market/industry is still the same. my potential clients cannot afford my services/skills so I am still on the lookout for a new market/industry that have new income generating opportunities.
I am currently taking a short break to focus on my hobbies. I caught a cold due to the stress of setting up my side hustle (WHO THE FUCK SETS UP A BUSINESS WITHIN 2 WEEKS???) so I am on a self-imposed bed rest.
I forced myself to finally sit down and do some journal writing (hence this post) to take care of my mental and physical health. I wanted to write down all my thoughts and reflect on the past two weeks, which have been intensely stressful.
Here's to hoping that writing this post will help speed up my recovery.
I've temporarily stopped applying for jobs ATM. I am still dealing with discomfort, but I only realized that the source of it was coming from my mother's inability to deal with our current economic circumstances. the lack of a stable income source is something she isn't used to, as she's not able to live a lavish lifestyle that she once did since there's no one who could financially provide for her.
I refused to deal with her emotionally dysregulated state so I lock myself in my room and find ways on how to earn money for myself. I find that doing something, ANYTHING, to help myself out of this situation gives me peace. there's no one bothering me when I am "working" or when I am in front of the computer doing something. for me, it kills two birds with one stone - I actually get to be productive in building different side hustles and I get to avoid my mother's constant anxiety and stress from the fact that we don't have enough cash on hand to pay for next month's rent.
it's actually annoying to listen to her rant and complain. I would rather she get off her ass and actually do something to resolve her problems. except she expects everyone else to solve it for her.
TBH, it is NOT my problem to solve. not every problem is mine to solve or needs to be solved. so I don't. I sit back and do nothing.
I mostly just keep myself busy in my room, typing away on the computer. doing assignments, setting up my side hustle, looking for another side hustle, etc. anything just to escape a toxic situation/environment.
I don't know how long this will last but I find comfort in the fact that this discomfort is only temporary. This won't last at all and that I will eventually find a job or create one for myself.
as the saying goes, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right?
Sometimes I get frustrated by the job application process.
No, not just sometimes. All the time.
ATP I'm only doing it for compliance. I have to do it just to say to family members that I'm actually doing something to change my currently unemployed situation. "Look, it's not like I'm doing nothing. I'm actually making the effort to send out my resume to companies. But I keep getting rejected so what can I do??"
What can I do except just to keep applying?? At this point it's just to get my family off my back. If I don't do anything, they will be on my case again and start nagging and criticizing me for being a failure because I'm still unemployed.
This desperate energy has gotten me scammed already, but still I persist in my efforts just to keep a peaceful environment.
It's more about...pleasing other people instead of pleasing myself. I derive no satisfaction from doing this. I am motivated by the desire to be left alone to do it my way, even if I fail.
I need to detach from this energy. as far as I am concerned, this is just another wasted effort for compliance purposes. I guess the outcome will still be the same - win or lose, I still get to keep my peace.
I have my issues with community development work. I feel frustrated by it.
As much as I want to work permanently in that industry (and I really do), I find the movement extremely slow. the work is fun and emotionally fulfilling. the problem is that there aren't enough jobs or projects for someone like me whose expertise/experience lie in inclusive business, agri-business, entrepreneurship and innovation, R&D, and business management.
there's so much potential and opportunities for it in my country (Philippines). the problem is that less people are willing to invest in inclusive business projects or social enterprise business ventures. the private sector or private companies will only move if it fits their corporate goals or if they see the competitor beating them. but when they move, by golly do they move fast. the pay is better too. and there are more projects to choose from.
meanwhile, the government and NGOs move slow AF. and the pay is low, and the projects are less and short-term, unlike within the private sector, where projects are ongoing, constant, and longer-term.
I guess I am expressing my frustration with the industry itself and it's slow growth or slow development. I keep walking away from it because I desire career progress and financial stability for myself but the industry keeps pulling me back in. even when I've left, I still get a few offers to come in and do something. people reach out asking for my help but never follow through on it.
I guess this is my written declaration that I am giving up any hope in working in the industry. I'd like to manifest for more opportunities for myself in the industry but it feels like my time in the industry has ended. I desire for growth and for the money in my bank account to actually grow. It's such a shame because I have many great ideas, solutions, and skills that are useful in the industry, but it seems life is leading me to go in a different direction.
I'll leave my thoughts on the matter here. It's time to leave all this behind and go in a new direction.
your daily reminder to interact with content creators (writers, gfx/gif creators, artists, etc) beyond liking them here on tumblr! we live for the reblogs and crazy hashtags, we love when you come and flood our inbox with praises on what you like, and best of all it keeps us motivated to want to put out more content <3
I've been manifesting legal employment, financial stability, financial freedom, buying my own house and lot in a small town (or in a place outside the capital city of my country), a better more supportive (artistic, creative, and emotionally supportive) environment. I'm tired of trying to survive and I just want to thrive and get settled and stable after struggling (my dad died last year) for the last two years.
My goals are simple - I would like to pursue my goal of being a storyteller and to fulfill my true purpose here on this earth. That's it.
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
It’s okay to be where I am, I don’t have to wake up tomorrow and be a pro. I used to really be very hard on myself if I thought I wasn’t accomplishing something or reaching a certain level. But be with your failures. They’re just as educational and just as opening to the process as the successes. And eventually, I would hope, the notion of success and failure would begin to dilute as well.
The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.
Leo Buscaglia
(via purplebuddhaproject)
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