The fuck you want?

Jersey The Wolf Among Us Semi-selective Indie

[ipreferthebarrens]

u ever fight other cryptids?

“Any’a those guys start toein’ the line of my territory ‘n they’re gettin’ introduced to my fuckin’ claws.”

“So yeah.  Fuckin’ right I do.”

[ipreferthebarrens]

Bold what applies to your muse.

PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty. medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged. class or caste: upper / middle / working / slave / unsure. education: qualified / unqualified / studying. criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no.

FAMILY

married - happily - married - unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated / verse dependent. has a biological child or children / has no biological children / wants children.   close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased. orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s).

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in between. disorganised / organised / in between. close minded / open-minded / in between. calm / anxious / in between. disagreeable / agreeable / in between. cautious / reckless / in between. patient / impatient / in between. outspoken / reserved / in between. leader / follower / in between. empathetic / unempathetic / in between. optimistic / pessimistic / in between. traditional / modern / in between. hard-working / lazy / in between. cultured / un-cultured / in between / unknown. loyal / disloyal / unknown. faithful / unfaithful / unknown.

BELIEFS:

monotheist / polytheist / atheist  / agnostic. belief in ghosts or spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. belief in an afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. belief in reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. belief in aliens: yes  / no / don’t know / don’t care. religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious. philosophical: yes / no.

OPINIONS

pro-suicide / anti-suicide / doesn’t know or on the fence. pro-euthanasia / anti-euthanasia / doesn’t know or on the fence. pro-choice / anti-abortion /  doesn’t know or on the fence. pro-marriage / anti-marriage / doesn’t know or on the fence. pro-death penalty / anti-death penalty  / doesn’t know or on the fence. pro-drug legislation / anti-drug legislation / doesn’t know or on the fence. pro-murder / anti-murder / doesn’t know or on the fence. pro-cannibalism / anti-cannibalism / doesn’t know or on the fence. left wing / right ring / middle / doesn’t know or on the fence.

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

allosexual / asexual / demisexual. alloromantic / aromatic / demiromantic. sex repulsed  / sex neutral / sex favorable. romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable. sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious. potential sexual partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all. potential romantic partners: male / female / agender / other / none-ish / all.

ABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none. literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. medicinal drugs: never / sometimes  / frequently / to excess. indulgent food: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. gambling: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

[ipreferthebarrens]

[aggressively wants violent threads]

[mysticalhexappeal-blog]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Sentence Meme

“Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?”

“Let’s get high in the back office.”

“I eat stickers all the time, dude!”

“I’m relaxing. I’m getting blackout drunk, and you’re leaving me alone.”

“I don’t know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack.”

“I drank three bottles of champagne, and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.”

“Give me money. Money me. Money now. Me a money needing a lot now.”

“S you in your As, don’t wear a C. J all over your Bs.”

“SHUT UP! Shut up! Oh my God, I don’t care!”

“Cats do not abide by the laws of nature.”

“Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn’t. It’s up for debate.”

“You can eat some stuff from the trash. A lot of it is in perfectly good shape.”

“I don’t have time for your shit, you dumbass dick bags!”

“I think, maybe, I was a centaur in my past life.”

“It’s like, hey everybody look at me, I’m one part robot, and three parts asshole.”

“Plus, I hear the guy hangs dong and I’m very interested in seeing that.”

“You abused alcohol, and that’s okay!”

“I ate all the pizza and drank all the beer.”

“You don’t know shit about cats.”

“Lets pretend you’re not who you are, and just try to attract a woman.”

“Don’t call me white trash.”

“I will smash your face into a jelly!”

“I’m eating because I’m very uncomfortable.”

“I can’t even get a bus to hit on me.”

“Take care of yourself, or whatever people say.”

“Come on, I steal lots of things. No need to get huffy.”

“Is anybody online the person that they say that they are?”

[ipreferthebarrens]

What's with the sunglasses? *don't kill me*

“…?”

[ipreferthebarrens]

[gotta stop following until dawn blogs jfc that’s too many]

[ipreferthebarrens]

[updated about page and added a verse page bc those were necessary for a lot of reasons.  Probably not done messing w/ them but they have most info now.  Rules & such will be updated at a later time.

edit: updated rules and headcanons.  still need to make everything fancy and change the blog theme.]

[shannonherrick-deactivated20160]

You dragged me through hell and called me the devil.

(via senpaaaii)

[ipreferthebarrens]

@vexulumloup

“There ain’t nothin’ illegal in here,” the pawnbroker huffed, crossing his arms.  “Don’t fuckin’ deal in anythin’ like that.”

“Not anymore.  Everything’s been checked ‘n double checked.  I swear.”

[ipreferthebarrens]

@nxtsxlittlewxlf​

The shop had been unusually busy for a frigid, rainy weekday, but Jersey wasn’t going to complain.  Much.  You could only read the stacks of magazines on the far counter so many times before you were able to recite them by memory and, due to the recent terrible weather, the pawnbroker was nearing that threshold.  

With the last of the customers gone, or so he thought, Jersey gave a quiet sigh of relief.  Being busy was nice, but a flood of customers tended to move things around and leave the shop in disarray.  Normally the cryptid wouldn’t mind, but items here - especially magical ones - were in certain spots for a reason.  As soon as people left the Lucky Pawn, he always made it a priority to set everything back where it belonged.  

Stepping around the counter, the pawnbroker noticed the girl.  Great.  What the fuck was going on here?  The pawn shop wasn’t a daycare.  People really needed to stop forgetting their kids and stop letting them wander around.

“You lost, pipsqueak?”

[ipreferthebarrens]

[like for a starter- message to plot smth]

[ipreferthebarrens]

“I’ll pass.” She had no interest in changing. Snow was of the opinion she was just fine as she was. Better than fine, thank you.

“When I watch the news, it’s typically in the comfort of my own home.” She didn’t frequent bars, unless someone dragged her out in a misguided attempt to try and get her to ‘loosen up’.

“Oh c’mon.  You ain’t even heard what we’d be doin’ out there,” Jersey said, forcing a pout.  “I’m hurt.”

“Ain’t gonna go out 'n watch news about yourself with a group’a buddies or nothin’?”  News about him was a stretch, really.  News about something he had done suited the reports better. "Gotta be some narcissism in there somewhere…"

[ipreferthebarrens]

“I have no idea…”

[ipreferthebarrens]

“No.” Ugh. She was nearly gagging from the smell. What did that guy eat!?

“I was trying to have a nice conversation with a citizen, then you just barge in and…” Oh, she couldn’t stand to be in this room anymore. “Outside. Now!” Snow pointed at the door with her free hand.

“What, you want me to apologise for some other guy shittin’ himself?  Not a fuckin’ chance.”  He might have caused it, but it was unintentionally prompted.  At least this time.  Though he argued, after a pause the cryptid listened to the other and headed for the door.

“I didn’t shit his pants, ya know.”

[ipreferthebarrens]

“This isn’t funny, for God’s sake!” She was horrified and disgusted. “Don’t ever do that in the Woodland Building again, do you hear me?”

It wasn’t funny?  Jersey begged to differ, but then again he was used to shit like this.

“Didn’t do anythin’ wrong.  Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

[ipreferthebarrens]

“I can’t think of a scenario that could possibly be the ‘right experience’.” 

“Spend a few days out in the Barrens ‘n somethin’ might change your mind.  People change out there all the time.”

“You like sittin’ around in bars ‘n watchin’ the news?”

[ipreferthebarrens]

“I thought the stories were figurative about you being able to scare the crap out of someone!” Flycatcher was going to have to fumigate the business office now, dammit!

“Dunno where you got that idea from.”  To be fair, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d caused anyone to shit themselves.  He’d made someone empty their bladder last month, but that was almost commonplace.

“Ain’t your average city slicker, huh?  Smells like that guy fuckin’ knew it.”