Wow my final major project and final film at Middlesex University! How crazy to be here at a point where I feel as though I’ve learnt so much in terms of technique and understanding of practice, but simultaneously, I’m existing in my own blissful ignorance surrounding the animated world. This project has really been something. I don’t know why I expected this to be a breeze XD but I’d say it was more like a GAIL FORCE WIND with possible hurricane warnings. Last year I suppose I was in a better situation making my 2nd year film I was excited because I didn’t know what stop motion was really about and I was intrigued. This year I knew what to do, but I felt a lot of the time I was withdrawing from doing it with fears of it not being that outstanding final piece of work I’m supposed to create or even not as experimental as I could be with the resources I have around me. To some extent it felt very safe designing my sets and characters because I knew exactly what I was doing. Maybe that took some of the fun out of it? I think the hardest part of the production phase of my FMP was staying motivated to complete the project. Many cold, hard days in that dark messy room and the funny thing about making an animated film alone is that you have no one else to tell you to work or to keep going. All that time and effort in the dark and emptiness alone is all your willpower and self-motivation to make something because you want to… or because you need to. Why? Because of all the people around you that helped you make this vision in your head reality. See when I no longer wanted to get out of bed and go to this dark room and spend my whole day from 9am to midnight focusing on this project I’d think to myself ‘But what about everyone who’s helped me get to this point?’ That includes my tutors who gave me guidance and support, the talented voice actors like David Holt who’s voice I am gratefully using or even my mum who makes sure at midnight, when I do eventually get home, I’m warm and fed. So, I haven’t given up yet! I’m making the animation and honestly, I’m proud af of where I am right now. Because I’m also tired af. My favourite part of the process has been the set building and puppet-making. Seeing them in my mind and then physically constructing them and putting every little detail onto them has made this experience so rewarding. Setting up my equipment was difficult because there was so much stuff in the space and spatially my organisation was appalling (something I will absolutely mitigate in the future) but I got it done and my experience of the different equipment from working at the kithub made this so much easier. Filming the actual animation was the hardest part because I was constantly distracted by the amazing people around me and events going on and social media, but I really got on with it and tried to manage this by having my schedule and shot list up on the wall which helped me to stay focused and track my progress as I went along. I think if I were able to redo this experience of production, I would re-arrange my schedule as honestly animation always takes so much longer than we think and by being so rigid with my timings I often felt guilty when I hadn’t met deadlines or goals at a certain point, but this is actually normal and it okay to not be on track all the time. The most important thing is that I’m producing quality pieces of work that I’m proud of and that I’m enjoying what I do. After all, what’s the point of any of this if I don’t enjoy myself. I would also prioritise my mental health and taking breaks more. I think at some points sitting alone working in my room exacerbated the already emotionally crushing events I had experienced earlier in the year and potentially I would’ve been able to get out of my own head more and work more efficiently if I’d taken the correct steps to manage all of the stuff zooming around my mind first lol. But even with these considerations I did have a really good time honestly and I would absolutely do it all over again. Bringing ideas to life is the most satisfying creative pursuit.
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