forever untitled

i want to get paid to write books for kids of all ages. these are my not-so-daily musings. questions? click to ask me!

[ipromisetowrite]

I recently heard about a child in my community who came out to a close friend as gay. But they told their friend not to tell a soul. Why the friend asked? Because, they explained, my mother says it is a sin to be gay. This news, when it reached me via the confidant’s mother, broke my spirit. Because the homophobic mother in question? I thought she was one of the harmless ones. I thought she was one of the ones who loved her God with all her heart enough to love everyone around her for who they are. In no way did I imagine she was one of the ones who was teaching her children that it is a sin to be gay. It put up a wall between me and that woman that I will never be able to tear down, unless she opens her mind. I am so heartbroken for this kid. I am glad they are growing up in a time when they can see that their mother’s truth is not the consensus but it doesn’t make it any easier on them in their personal journey if it means they can never come out to their mom. My biggest hope is that this mother’s heart changes when she finds out her child is gay. My biggest fear lives somewhere between this child never feeling confident enough to come out and this child coming out and being rejected by their family. My only comfort is that I am an outlier in this child’s life. Not a close friend, but not a stranger. Maybe, someday, I can help. I’ll keep them on my radar.

[ipromisetowrite]

Life is a series of build ups and let downs and victories. We live through turning point after turning point. The turning points and the growing; that’s the stuff that books are made of. When I was a kid I could feel these turning points and I would write myself these manifestos or letters of declaration of who I would become, what I would leave behind, how I would get through. I would promise myself in my developing handwriting inside of ugly diaries or on yellow legal pad pages and then I would sign my name at the bottom, to make it official. Scattered through drawers and boxes, notebooks and diaries between New Jersey and Indiana you can uncover these declarations of past versions of myself I was determined to leave behind. I’m sure many of them have disintegrated or been recycling or stained or laughed at before being crumpled up and thrown in a trash pile. I can’t remember what any one of them said but they were all important. Right now I am at the point of my story where I don’t know. I don’t know what the struggle is or when it will all hit my shoulders or what will break me this time. I don’t know what I’m growing through. Right now I feel like I’m in the stuck phase. The stuck phase might be worse than the bottom. One thing I do remember is a scrapbook diary page. It was a little picture of me, the sun highlighting the curve of my chubby cheeked profile as I looked off frame and then a current, then high school, photo of the same sort of thing. Cut crookedly from old seventeen magazines in words and phrases it read, “Let me be/And I will be/The woman I’ve always been.” Like, fuck, you guys, that is deep. That is significant. That is as important for me to remember now as it was then. Sure, I’ve changed, I’ve left parts behind and I’ve declared myself better, but - that little girl? She was the purest version of the person I am. Her heartbreaks are still mine today; lost friendships and too many feelings. Her joys are still mine as well; fits of laughter, chocolate frosting, watching sports and being outside. She is the most me of all the mes. Sure her momma made her wear itchy dresses that she hated but she also didn’t correct her from sitting with her legs spread.

[nprbooks]

Image courtesy of Penguin Press

Beloved poet Mary Oliver has died at 83. Lynn Neary’s lovely remembrance is here.

And here’s her poem “When Death Comes”

When Death Comes

When death comes like the hungry bear in autumn; when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut; when death comes like the measle-pox;

when death comes like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, and I look upon time as no more than an idea, and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth, tending, as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

She will be sorely missed

– Petra

[acecroft]

infinite list of favorite characters

Penny Robinson (Lost in Space) ↳ All my life, I feel like I’ve been missing out on harpooning things.

[acecroft]

infinite list of favorite characters

Don West (Lost in Space) ↳ And I want a medal. No. A parade. No. I want a holiday. Don West Appreciation Day. Colony Salvation Day for Don West. I want my face on a postage stamp.

[moiraxrose]

[profeminist]

“Why broadcast your bisexuality/queerness, even if you’re in a monogamous relationship? It’s not because you want to be seen as available, but because you want to be SEEN. And you want others, who may feel invisible, to see themselves in you.”

- Lizzy B.‏

[bidoctor]

[dailysantaclaritadiet]

[acecroft]

Santa Clarita Diet | 2x02 Coyote in Yoga Pants

[wenchyfloozymoo]

[femmewitch-deactivated20190613]

Actress Megan Fox on Gender Neutral Children: Let Them Be Who They Are

wow … she said/did that

[slangtasy]

me as a parent

[marriedtotheseacomics]

Ancient hoarders. From Married To The Sea.

[diwhitney]

The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began

prints available here!

[kingjaffejoffer]

[breathinginbiology]

Please reblog.

[jynxlovesluck]

C'mon it’s not only pride month it’s indigenous peoples month!!! My people!!!! Could the president honestly fuck off?

[sua-sponte-deactivated20200331]

I’m watching that documentary “Before Stonewall” about gay history pre-1969, and uncovered something which I think is interesting.

The documentary includes a brief clip of a 1954 televised newscast about the rise of homosexuality. The host of the program interviewed psychologists, a police officer, and one “known homosexual”. The “known homosexual” is 22 years old. He identifies himself as Curtis White, which is a pseudonym; his name is actually Dale Olson.

So I tracked down the newscast. According to what I can find, Dale Olson may have been the first gay man to appear openly on television and defend his sexual orientation. He explains that there’s nothing wrong with him mentally and he’s never been arrested. When asked whether he’d take a cure if it existed, he says no. When asked whether his family knows he’s gay, he says that they didn’t up until tonight, but he guesses they’re going to find out, and he’ll probably be fired from his job as well. So of course the host is like …why are you doing this interview then? and Dale Olson, cool as cucumber pie, says “I think that this way I can be a little useful to someone besides myself.”

1954. 22 years old. Balls of pure titanium.

Despite the pseudonym, Dale’s boss did indeed recognize him from the TV program, and he was promptly fired the next day. He wrote into ONE magazine six months later to reassure readers that he had gotten a new job at a higher salary.

Curious about what became of him, I looked into his life a little further. It turns out that he ultimately became a very successful publicity agent. He promoted the Rocky movies and Superman. Not only that, but get this: Dale represented Rock Hudson, and he was the person who convinced him to disclose that he had AIDS! He wrote the statement Rock read. And as we know, Rock Hudson’s disclosure had a very significant effect on the national conversation about AIDS in the U.S.

It appears that no one has made the connection between Dale Olson the publicity agent instrumental in the AIDS debate and Dale Olson the 22-year-old first openly gay man on TV. So I thought I’d make it. For Pride month, an unsung gay hero.

[argumate]

dude had guts, someone needs to update his Wikipedia page

[soundssimpleright]

that is honestly really awesome

[feministism]