‘Don’t let it get to you’, I tell myself, as I let it get to me

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@iridescent-feeling
‘Don’t let it get to you’, I tell myself, as I let it get to me
what makes u feel the most like u
being alone
I’m in the mood to lay in bed with a partner and be held very very tightly. I want to hold their arms as we spoon and fall asleep feeling safe and protected. Just the two of us.
u know those deeply sad nights where you just wanna cry and listen to a very emotional song
L o l @ all of the times I’ve heard “I just have a thing for small Asian girls” and trying to justify it by telling me that their top pornhub search is Asian.
Not to mention that I’ve been called a mail ordered bride as a “joke”. Of course I laughed it off.
“You’re really pretty for an Asian”.
Tell me again how I’m “just like all of those other China people” when neither my family or I have even stepped foot in China. Not all Asian people are from China, btw.
Explain how I was ridiculed for the shape of my eyes but fox eye is now a sought after trend where yt people will PAY to have a cosmetic medical procedure done that mimics how they used to pull at the edges of their eyes to make fun of mine.
Speaking of trends, I used to wear a qipao to school on lunar new year to celebrate and people thought it was weird. But hey, you can get a “trendier” version of it on lots of fast fashion websites, so I guess it’s cute now.
The fact that I am embarrassed to let people know my middle name because it’s “too Asian” and “too difficult” to pronounce.
My mom and dad had to make a legal “whiter” name for themselves when they immigrated here for work and ease of pronunciation for everyone around them.
As well, whenever I introduce myself and they ask me “so what’s your real name?”.
When I first got my license: “You actually a good driver, you don’t drive like the rest of your people”. (They were also taking a jab at the fact that I’m a woman)
“That oriental girl”.
One day at work a yt woman with blue eyes and blonde hair complained to me about how there was too much diversity within makeup brands and signage around the store. She felt like she couldn’t see herself represented enough to pick a good eyeshadow colour to match her skin tone and eyes. The irony.
A young client specifically asked for Korean style inspired eye looks. Once I was finished, her mother gave me a disgusted look and asked her daughter, “your eyes are looking really Asian, is that what you really want?”.
Lash extensions were starting to get very popular. An older woman who recently had an allergic reaction says “I got it done from one of those orientals. They must have not used quality glue”.
Nobody is “stealing jobs”. They’re filling the positions that you think you’re too good for.
If you go to a Vietnamese-owned nail salon/spa and get upset that they are speaking their language to each other, go do your own nails then.
Now that being in tune with one’s culture is popularized, I’m allowed to bring traditional foods for lunch without the entire table telling me how “interesting” my food smelled. Now we call it “fragrant”.
“I have yellow fever”. No you don’t.