’ I’m gonna pop that little zit when I get home. ’
’ You must have been an athlete in your thinner days. ’
’ Hey, hey, lets stick to the topic okay? ’
’ You know, I’d be happy to perscribe something for that. ’
’ Between you and the humpty dance, I’ll have to get a metal plate on my butt. ’
’ Hey, you wanna go to the club with us tonight? ’
’ Well, someone has her/his rude hat on tonight. ’
’ I’m starvin’. When do we eat here? ’
’ I think you’ve been deprived of oxygen at birth. ’
’ You’re the man. I’m just the man behind the man. ’
’ Man, have I told you how thin you’re lookin’ lately? ’
’ How can I forget? He was wearing my purple suit. ’
’ I was going to drop by and check on the, the thing. ’
’ Aren’t you a little overdressed? ’
’ What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess? ’
’ Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer? ’
’ Excuse me, what’s a nine-letter word for “Terrific?” ’
’ I’m sick of being such a big loser. ’
’ When the press hears about this they’re going to have a field day. ’
’ You know, I was looking through your police file, and bingo! ’
’ Oh wake up, knucklehead. ’
’ Well, you know I never had a good imagination. ’
’ I never even had imaginary friends when I was a kid. ’
’ Ain’t no thang but a chicken wing. ’
’ I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice. ’
’ That’s called prudent planning. ’
’ I’m still exhausted from last night. ’
’ All I asked you to do was a little yard work. ’
’ What’s that hideous thing growing out of your neck? ’
’ Could you drop me off at the beach? ’
’ My fault, man! I must have got the wrong crib. ’
’ I’m sorry! I thought you were all asleep! ’
’ Look, now, everybody calm down. False alarms happen all the time. ’
’ Trust is a very fragile thing… ’
’ I’m as big as a house. All I want to do is lie in bed and eat pie. ’
’ I mean, we must all do our parts to protect the environment. ’
’ Why, I never knew it was such a problem. ’
’ Where should I make a donation? ’
’ You know, ain’t like I’m still five years old, you know? ’
’ Sarcasm? Whatever do you mean? ’
’ Whoa, hold on mister, you’re all over the map! ’
’ Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet. ’
’ Those things are stupid. What does mine say? ’
’ My horoscope says that I’m gonna be a famous rapper with a TV show. ’
’ I’m too ashamed to talk about it, it’s better if I show you… ’
’ You did a porno movie? ’
’ If you’re serious, I could make some calls. ’
’ There’s something I need to tell you. ’
’ I was keeping them in case I needed them… ’
’ How could you be so stupid? ’
’ You know you shouldn’t be messing with drugs! ’
’ Somebody gave them to me at school. ’
’ My son/daughter could have died because of you! ’
’ I got the cake you wanted for the family reunion. ’
’ It’s round, it’s rubber and you’ll never use it! ’
’ You say you want things but you’re never willing to work for it! ’
’ You’re a slacker. You never make the sacrifice. ’
’ Do you remember our first date? ’
’ Well, I think you should run along and play. ’
’ You have no integrity, no decency, and you’re really, really short! ’
’ Come on, I gotta get you to the hospital! ’
’ Something terrible has happened, man! ’
’ I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful! ’
’ Look, you gotta promise you’re not gonna overreact… ’
’ Those pills that you took weren’t vitamins. ’
’ What could be worse than finding out I’m still a virgin? ’
’ Oh, my God. I’m a drug addict and a virgin! ’
’ I don’t touch greasy, disgusting things! ’
’ And for your information, dinner comes first! ’
’ Oh, it’s like that, right? You’re just gonna slam garbage at me! ’
’ I’m going to be watching you like a shadow! ’
’ I love bugs and I love death. I love oozing flesh wounds! ’
’ I have been calling you for fifteen minutes. Didn’t you hear me? ’
’ Did you just put super glue in my hair gel? ’
’ I’m also getting tired of the short jokes. I’m average height. ’
’ If you were me, you’d be good looking. ’
’ You’re not in touch with anybody's feminine side. ’
’ You’re gonna embarrass me when I become the new co-host. ’
‘ It’s not a doll, it’s an action figure! ’
’ I’ve been studying self-defense. ’
’ I’m just trying to recall what it felt like to be fifteen. ’
’ It was so long ago, how could you remember? ’
’ I’m just so upset, I’m saying things I don’t even mean. ’
’ You know something? This is all your fault. ’
’ What is that, like the theme of this family? ’
’ Knowing my luck, I might run into a disgruntled postal worker. ’
’ Y'all know ain’t no little bullet gonna stop me. ’
’ What does that have to do with anything? ’
’ Have you ever crushed any one? ’
’ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ’
’ What do you mean I didn’t get the job? ’
’ Well, you tell those little brats I don’t like them either! ’
’ What does it look like I’m doing? I’m gambling. ’
’ You stole my wallet? How much do we have? ’
’ Um… You a little freaky-deeky, ain’t you? ’
’ I think you’ve been smokin’ a little bit too much of that catnip. ’
’ I’m a little uncomfortable with nudity. ’
’ Oh, for God’s sake, would you leave already? ’
’ Oh, we have to have a special going away dinner for you. ’
’ Well, it’s got ceiling-to-floor doors, and wall-to-wall floors. ’
’ You can’t see my apartment, because I don’t have one. ’
’ That just doesn’t sound right coming from me, does it? ’
’ This is a stick with a snake wrapped around it. ’
’ You ain’t ever gonna change! ’
’ I’m getting the last word! ’
’ You’re not age appropriate for this party. ’
’ Haven’t you learned anything from all of this? ’
’ Doesn’t anyone care about how I feel? ’
’ I never say that. It’s make like a banana and split. ’
’ Come on people, I weigh the same I weighed back in high school. ’
’ I hope you like that system, because you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of it in your life. ’
