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WALLPAPERs da AURORA!!!

Surge of Energy

Insert feelings here.

I feel peaceful and optimistic as of late. Late meaning the past few days. LOL it’s amazing what a positive thought will do, it multiplies if you want it to. You gotta put the effort in if you want your plants to grow. I’m about to meet some Irish wolfhounds for the first time - I’m pretty excited about that. They’re the tallest breed in the world :O

Yesterday was great, I went to my mom’s house for a Tuesday Meem day. She brought Sami and Joj over and we went out to lunch and to a farmer’s market. The kids giggled and played all day long. I love being around them, their energy is so wonderful, light, and innocent. Something we all wish we could preserve into our age. My mom bought me a cutie pie dog that was crafted out of a dried gourd. Love it, I saw it last year and regretted not buying him so I’m glad to be able to call him my little cutie pie gourd boy.

I went to the store with Jim yesterday and as I was picking toilet paper off the shelf and nice woman just walked by me and said oh my goodness you have such beautiful hair. Of course I thanked her and told her I appreciated her kindness. Really though, I see the law of attraction already taking effect. I am trying to change my mindset again to more positivity and already the world seems brighter, people seem nicer and I feel happier.

With such a huge life change around the corner I am grateful to be feeling such peace right now. Determined to make it last. :)

1hex3-deactivated20170405

desertislandcomics

No need to be afraid

#the beatles #real love

Why do I get so nervous?

Why do I get so nervous when a chapter of my life is about to end? Why is that my body’s natural instinct to get frazzled, worried, and emotional?

This feeling has been a frequent one for me and I have to say it’s made me numb to a lot of the joys in life. When the stress of life is looming it kinda just shadows over everything else. I so desperately want to manage this feeling and make it go away. I realize with time and experience it will get easier and it will never truly go away. I have learned that I am capable of conquering a lot of my fears but it’s just staring into that pool of stress and emotion to get to comfort again that hinders me from embracing change. I don’t like feeling this way and I hope to someday learn to just embrace all “negative” emotions. After all these are the times that help us grow.

I just get so sentimental. I throw so much of myself in what I do and how I love. I am deeply rooted in the things I choose to involve myself in. Its just really hard for me to come to terms with goodbyes and endings. Is it because I’m afraid of what comes next?

“Don’t hold too tight to the reel, cause its a big one boy and its gonna pull you down now”

Side note - I had a nostalgic fit last night listening to the Beatles. Going through every one of their albums that I would pop into my stereo and play over and over again in sequential order. All these memories I forgot a had of my younger chapters of life instantly came back as the songs played one after the other. Theres something so tender and innocent I feel when I hear the Beatles I could just weep thinking about it.

I remember my mom was driving my sister and I to the end of our long country driveway in the early dark hours of the cold morning to catch the school bus. Lady Madonna came on the stereo, I listened, and asked my mom if I could borrow the album. Ever since that moment in time, the Beatles became the foundation of my love for music. I could go on and on about my memories but anyway.. Sunday mornings when Breakfast with the Beatles plays on my way to work I feel happy go lucky - less burdened by my everyday struggles and challenges - like that looming stress cloud I was talking about. Maybe my remedy is just to listen to more Beatles?

That is definitely a-ok with me :P

#rant #life struggles #the beatles #blind melon

workinlikeadog

If I think too much about it

it really bothers me.

The guilt tripping and the lack of understanding really gets to me in my situation. In the moment it doesn’t bother me, but later on when I’m marinating in the conversations had it definitely gets to me. Working on improving how well things roll off my shoulders is happening in this noggin. Trying to anyway.

I often get caught up in fear - fear of lost opportunity, fear of missing out, fear of feeling sad emotions but 90% of the time I’m just wasting energy being afraid. I try and charge through this cloud of bullshit that shrouds everything and everyone I love to get to the real genuine goodness and love that want to remain in my memory.

If you compare anyone’s life to another, you can always say it could be worse. This is very true - but no matter how much money you have, how lucky you appear to be, or how much “better” someone seems to have it - we all have problems. We all are trying to navigate the human experience. Struggling is part of it, these are the times when you’re forced to pull yourself up to see the views as you climb.

I’m feeling a bit lost at the moment. Frantic. Emotional. Scared. Exhausted.

I don't handle change very well. I’m better with handling it these days but it hurts every part of my being and I’m just so exhausted with everything thats happened to me within the past few years. I get so overwhelmed with the thought of leaving everyone I love again. The fear of not being here for my family. I won't be here to watch my nieces grow, to cherish moments with my sisters and my parents. I will just have to live with the fact that all of this will still happen, but it will be few and far between. Theres something in me that feels like its my responsibility to be here for my family. I ALWAYS want to be, I know in my heart I can live somewhere else, but still feel like I’m a big part of my family’s lives at the same time. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this either - the familia obviously doesn't understand and thats okay. The man is sick of hearing it. So here I am, in yet another vulnerable phase of my life.

Some of the hardest roads we have to walk alone. If I can just cling to that vision of love I was talking about earlier - I can do this.

Music Has No Expiration Date

“You know this was released in 1969 right?”

I get it, people get a sense of empowerment because they were there when this music was new.

Similar to how an older sibling treats the younger sibling like they are naive.

This has been the only annoyance of being a music lover.

I dominantly listen to music from the 1960s, but really though I LOVE so many different genres from all different eras and timeframes - ranging from the 40s to present day. Music is a timeless powerful expression. It fills your air space and has the ability to change your mood, evoke thought, and serve as an inspirational motivator. You can’t touch it, but you can feel it. The love of music is something everyone has in common. Have you ever heard someone say they hate music?

When older generations make comments of me being too young to like the music, what are they trying to say? Are they being harmless? Are they showing superiority? Are they trying to make me change my mind about liking the music? Are they testing my knowledge?

Anyhow, Its like telling a history buff they can’t be passionate about what they are studying because they weren’t there for the civil war or the discovery of america, or the birth of Jesus.

If anything, these people should be happy that they were there to witness the coming of amazing musicians and that their music is STILL resonating with so many people today.

What do you guys make of these comments?

#music #musiclovers #yourtooyoungtolikethat #question