Rants Against Humanity

A vent for frustration at everyday life, or occasionally things that make my day.

[ironfe26]

This is the first games console I ever owned. I was given it for Christmas one year in the early 2000s by my Uncle, it was previously owned by my cousins Liam and Lindsey. I remember being realled happy when I got it as at the time I was beholden to the whim of my brothers, one who had the original xbox and the other a PS2. This represented a small amount of gaming independance, no matter how theoreticaly obsolete. It went into storage in the back of my wardrobe a few years later and became forgotten about. When moving out in 2013 I found the box again but in some bizare twist, only the console was in the box, no controllers, no games, no leads. So there it stayed. In 2018 we cleared out the bungalow and grounds of my deceased great uncle, a man who was somewhat of a hoarder. While emptying a delapiated static caraven in the garden, I chanced upon a box of assorted cables. While checking to see if there was anything of use, I found a pair of controllers for a Sega MegaDive along with, a power cable and several games, half of which I had never seen before. So now the console rests, reinstated, under my T.V, though a litte temprimental (I think there may be a loose connection to the power supply) , stil played and still loved.

[ironfe26]

Fandoms and Fiefdoms

Well ladies, gentlemen and jerks, I feel that I'm am long over due another rant. So to let off as much steam as possible I will be spieling vitriol on a subject I have been thinking about for quite some time. Fandoms.

                                                                                              Lets first take a trip back in time shall we? say 1985 as a random date. You are a fan of a particular film or television franchise and wish to know more about it and meet and communicate with other fans. You are pretty much limited to two options;

1: Buy the dedicated fan magazines, allowing to find out all about whatever it is that your interested in, you can send in letters which may or may not get printed and read the opinions or thoughts of other fans who are both passionate enough to write in and reasonable enough in their views not to have have the editor simply commit their letter to the waste paper basket.

2: Go to a convention. Oh conventions, those wonderful events where you can meet up with all forms of fans from the passionate to the down right crazy, see panels and ask questions, by official and unofficial merchandise and frankly geek out with others like you.

But come the dawn of the digital era and suddenly a third way become open to you. The internet, the World Wide Web, The information superhighway. Now not only can you find a webpage/Blog/forums dedicate to your favourite show, but separate ones for your favourite characters. There is fan art and /fiction in abundant quantities and the world seems rosy. For you at least.

Because it seems with these fandoms, fences seem to have sprung up. Enclosing those cosy little groups and making it difficult for others to gain access. Back in our 1985 scenario it would be easy for someone to get involved, simply buy the magazine and find all you need, then maybe go to a con if you feel like it. But now, you don't only have to penetrate the cliques of whichever fandom has taken your interest, you need to segue your way through the bizarre terminology of the group, and god forbid if you get one of those wrong!

Now I know that what I am saying here is not true of all fandoms by any means, but it it something which is certainly prevalent. Because unless you are careful you will find the fences of these fandoms are patrolled. Self appointed aficionados of your interest lay in wait to pounce upon any error, miss-reference or  incorrect observation you may make. Ofcourse these people existed back in the pre-internet fandom day, but mostly they where the ones sitting at home, seething because the magazine didn't  publish the letter they had sent in for the fifth time, or because they weren't picked to ask a question at a convention panel. Most of the time in a convention situation, even if they did have the courage to make some kind of scornful or critical remark towards you, they would more than likely be rebuffed by other con goers or their friends for being an idiot. By now, behind the safety glass of anonymity and their LCD screens these keyboard warriors are free to roam the boarders of their perceived fiefdoms with few to oppose them. Most people in the group know them for what they are and therefore ignore them or simply cant be bothered to tell another moron on the message boards to shut up.  But to a new comer a reception like this can spell the end of an attempted inclusion in a group and they may simply return to watching their movies or show, or reading their comics or book series in solitude keeping their opinions to themselves and never again feeling like they can share there enjoyment in a wider forum. Not only does the individual loose out, but the group looses out on another member who shares their enthusiasm.

The thing is, these fandom fanatics, whilst off putting are not, in my opinion the biggest problem for me. My own personal bug bear are the Missionaries. Those whom see it as their sacred duty to spread word of the fandom far and wide, to get as many people to see the film or show as they can. The internet equivalent of a Jehovah witness.

This is a list of Shows/Books/Comics which ive not watched or read, because of how much people wax lyrical about them.

Firefly

Doctor Who, post Christopher Eccleston

Naruto

My Little Pony

Walking Dead

Sherlock

Agent of Shield

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Five out of the Seven Star wars films

This list could go on for quite some time. Believe me when I say that it is not out of a lack of wanting to that I've not indulged in that list. It is the simple fact that I have become so tired of seeing/hearing people discussing or arguing about them them, or trying to convince me to watch or read them because of how great they are. By the time that I do get around to watch a show I've seen extolled on facebook or that my friends have been telling me that I must watch Im either so sick and tired of hearing about it that I loose interest in the actual thing its self, or my expectations have been so greatly hyped that they can never be lived up to.

There are a great many Fandoms that I am a part of, an I know that most do not contain the Fanatical missionaries or have the guard demanding that you show an empirical knowledge of the subject before you can join. But I also know how off putting these things can be.

Im sure you do to. 

[ironfe26]

Tradesmen and women

So you have decided to employ a tradesman, well done, a good choice. Your chosen  trades person should be with you in between 2 hours and 2 years depending on trade type and demand. But before their arrival we suggest that you take some time to read this guide on how to treat your worker. 

Step one: Be polite to them.

Upon their arrival do not accuse them of being late, if they are, I'm sure they have a good reason. 

Do not accuse them of being too early. They have either arrived at a time specified by you, or at the time that their working day starts. If you require specialist working hours please contact head office.

Stop Two: Induct them into your premises:

Upon your Trades persons arrival please show them all available facilities. These include but are not limited to; Water supply, waste disposal (if applicable), Toilets and power supplies. This will help make your Trades person feel more at ease in their new environment. Nervous workers can often have little accidents if not eased into their environment. If you Trades person needs anything else they will ask.

Step Three: Offer them a drink.

Whilst not mandatory this is advised, its lubricative qualities will help to prevent your trades person overheating and allow them to work better. Even if only offered once during the day it's an instant way to help make your trades person better disposed to you.

Step Four: Leave them to it.

It's ok really, they know what they're doing. They've being doing it for years, some of them all their lives.

Do not Hang around.

Hanging around your newly acquired Trades person is likely to make them feel nervous, even if they are doing exactly what they would be doing if you weren't in the room. 

Step Five: Do not disturb your trades person whilst they are feeding.

Feeding is an important time for your trades person and they can become distraught or even abrasive if their meals are interrupted. Any questions, comments or queries unless urgent should be left until after this time.

Step Six: Feel free to ask questions.

Your trades person takes pride in their work and more often then not will be happy to answer any questions you may have about. Though some questions are best not asked, such as; Why is it taking so long? why is it costing me so much? should it look like that? Why are you still on break?

Step Seven: Avoid asking for more.

If your trades person is employed through a larger organisation it is best to avoid asking them to do more work than they have been instructed to do. Whilst "would you mind just?" or "Could you quickly?" may seem small and easy jobs to you, for your trades person it is annoying, takes up their time and may get them into trouble from their company. If you wish for more work to be done, contact their owners.

Step Eight: Compliment your trades person

Trade people, as mentioned above, take pride in their work and love to be complimented on it, do so and you will have made a friend for life. 

Step Nine: Avoid unnecessary call backs.

Whilst your trade person will take every necessary precaution to avoid returning to you if you find a genuine problem, feel free to call their owners and have them come back. However before doing this please ask yourself these questions; Can I live with it? Is it simply due to the fact that it is in a natural material? Am I just being a nit picking cunt?

Follow these simple instructions and your trades person and their work should give your years of happiness.

Don't follow them and prepare yourself for the likelihood of an annoyed Trades person who doesn't care about you or your house/work

[kixxarse]

Watchers of Ankh-Morpork - Sam Vimes by Zhorez1321

[dutchbarracuda]

Who watches the watchman? The Watcher. Giles!

[ironfe26]

Noobs and Enthusiasm (Noobthusiasm)

  Now bare with me here, im not about to go on a rant here about "why cant they just read the site" or "they had this stupid idea about…" if anything, exactly the opposite.

   Almost everyone on this site will has seen noobs in action at one time or another, they bound into a newly discovered website of forum, brimming with naive ideas. Inevitably these enthusiastic new members will come up against the old Vanguard of the site, those battle hardened, 1000+ post holding members who have seen it all before, and for most, this is the end. Their great new idea about building an ecto-plasm nerf rifle or using chocolate as a base of a costume paint get shot down into pieces. This is my problem.

   I was, and have been a noob to sites on many many occasions, and even as an experienced and seasoned member of many forums, each new site will often present this kind of trial by fire. Almost a right of passage, if you can last, you can stay. What I hate about it is that more often than not it can be soul destroying, your idea, something you believe that could work and chance things is shot to pieces by a cynical "seen it all before" members.

   I know and understand that some Idea can be bloody stupid, and some noobs far far too over enthusiastic and annoying by half, I also know the temptation to rip them to shreds just to maintain the Status Quo. But then I think, what about those old vanguard, when is the last time that they felt that excitement, can they remember what it felt like to be new, to be full of ideas that could revolutionize everything, and if so, do they remember what it is like to have an almost Caeser like forum member, turn his thumb down, sentencing their idea to a ridiculed and derided death in the Colosseum of the forums?

   What im really trying to say here is that maybe some of us, hell, ALL of us should look back and remember what it was like being a Noob, remember that excitement and drive, Especially the drive to impress our peers and those around us. Don't shoot the noobs down in flames, Maybe a gentle word or prod in a slightly different direction could change everything and rather than never returning to that site, they may in time become valued and active members, lord knows its happened on here enough times.

   So whether your dealing with an over enthusiastic noob from Hampshire who's telling stories which are alittle hard to believe, or one from Singapore who wants to brainwash people by flash mobbing the local news station. Take it with a pinch on salt, just talk to them, maybe encourage them, or just advise them it may not be a great idea. Don't shoot them down, and don't break them. It could have happened to you.

[persephhona]

[derekhalesprayercircle-blog]

I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’t remember the band, she dragged me along) when I was 16. They were starting a wall of death and this guy who was flirting with me decides it would be funny to pull my top down, exposing my breasts, then throw me in the middle of this wall of death right as it’s about to meet. When I stumble in the middle and hit the wall someone screamed “STOP! EXPOSED GIRL!” and I thought they were all going to oggle at me. Instead, one guy quickly helped me cover up, three more helped me to my feet, and another asked who did that. When I pointed out the guy, two of them looked at him, me, each other, then nodded and punched the guy in the face before forcing him into the wall that was about to form again.

Metal men are gentlemenly as shit.

[suicidemydarling]

This fucking this^^^ 

[despotic]

I’ve always loved this.

[dangerhamster]

I went to my first concert a few months ago and there were these really tall men with black vest tops and tattoos and piercings surrounding us screaming loudly when the music started playing, but then we realised this kid in the crowd had lost his mum so they tried to comfort him and when he started crying they asked him his name and he shakily sobbed “Eliot” at which point they lifted him in the air onto the shoulder’s and shouted at the top of their lungs “ELIOT’S MUM, ELIOT IS LOOKING FOR YOU. EXCUSE ME HAS ANYONE SEEN ELIOT’S MUM!!!” at which point Eliot started giggling between sobs until he finally found his mum while in the air.

[knitmeapony]

Seriously, I have felt safer in groups of death metal dudes than in the group of the preppiest preps that ever prepped.

[tevintersass-deactivated2015071]

Metal guys are one big family. Simple as that.

[youknowyourebritishwhen]

The Definitive Stereotype Map Of Britain And Ireland

[ironfe26]

My 6th finger and I find this offensive!

[whiskey-wolf-deactivated2020060]

And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.

Suck it, katana

[val-ritz]

And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.

Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.

Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.

In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.

[bloganddice-deactivated20190518]

Actually no. The vaunted differences between the katana and the longsword are largely myth. First off: longswords are nowhere near as heavy as everyone thinks they are, the weight difference between an average longsword and an average katana is very slight. Second: Longswords are not just random hack and slash weapons. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS JUST RANDOM HACK AND SLASH WEAPONS EVERY WEAPON IN THE WORLD REQUIRES SKILL AND FINESSE! To use a longsword requires precision and training and skill. If you think the longsword requires no skill I suggest you try fighting a master, or go read The Flower of Battle by Fiore dei Liberi. Third: The structural differences between a katana and a longsword make little to no functional difference. The reason the katana is so narrow and has a slight curve has nothing to do with functionality and EVERYTHING to do with iron being very rare in Japan. The curve on a katana is only enough to help increase the cutting length while using the minimum of material. The differences between Katana technique and longsword technique are about as large as the differences between Italian longsword technique and German longsword technique. Because there’s only so much you can do with a long sharp piece of metal. Fourth: The Katana did not evolve. They came up with one design and never changed it for thousands of years, not once. The design process of the longsword is well documented, it went through thousands of permutations and redesigns to make it more efficient, more useful and more adaptable. Fifth: Longsowrds took a fuckton of work and preparation. Ok, I’m about to burst your bubble here, but bear with me because you’re going to learn something. When the Japanese developed their folded steel technique it was in response to the fact that their iron ore was not only rare, it was also so full of impurities it was brittle and pretty awful at being a weapon.  All the Japanese folded steel technique really did was bring their steel up to the quality that was standard in most European steel. Why do I say Japanese folded steel? BECAUSE THE REST OF THE WORLD HAD ALREADY GOTTEN THERE ABOUT A THOUSAND YEARS BEFOREHAND! Japanese Folded Steel is primitive compared to some of the shit we were producing for weapons at the same time in Europe. And do you want to know who the masters of that were? THE FUCKING VIKINGS! Japanese folded steel involves hammering one piece of steel into a fucking sandwhich over and over and over again. Viking folded steel involves taking separate rods of Iron (For a flexible core) and Steel (for a hard edge) AND FUCKING BRAIDING THEM TOGETHER! LITERALLY BRAIDING TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF METAL IN THREE OR MORE PIECES TOGETHER AND THEN HAMMERING THAT INTO A SWORD! JUST TRY AND TELL ME THAT’S NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU’VE EVER HEARD! Sixth: The Katana was a backup weapon. It was literally the last resort. It got a lot of reverence in bushido because of how pretty it was and for no other reason. But the chief weapon of the samurai was actually their Kyu (longbow) followed by their Naginata (A spear, which was essentially like a katana on a stick and WAY more effective) or their Tetsu bo (A big conical wooden club covered in iron studs) and then if none of that worked then they would use the katana.  Seventh: The function of a longsword depends on the historical period you’re thinking of. In the 15th century and onward they were for dealing with plate armour and their design changed to reflect that. But they existed long before then and had many different functions, people of each period tailoring them for their specific needs. Eighth: Swords are expensive. Doesn’t matter what period or country you’re in a sword is a LOT of metal and metal is ALWAYS expensive.  In almost every culture spears and axes were FAR more common than swords. This caused a widespread phenomenon that historians/archaeologists/folklorists refer to as “the cult of the sword” where the rarity and beauty of swords causes them to become an object of reverence.  Almost every culture that developed swords also developed a weird spiritual reverence for them. The cult of the sword died off FAR later in Japan than it did in Europe which is why katanas have so much reverence and mythology attached to them even into the modern age. Ninth: Stop idealising other cultures because they’re over there.

[onslaughtsix-archive]

Fuckin’ weeaboos.

[necoho]

Adding to that (regarding the vikings):

That braiding technique described earlier on had the same reasons for its development as that of folded steel; bog iron was the most common available ore in Scandinavia and not very pure either.

Furthermore, that made metal indeed very expensive. Most warriors in viking culture wore boiled leather helmets and body armour if they wore armour at all. The most common form of defence was the wooden shield we all know from depictions (actually one thing out of very few that pictures get right).

The weapons that found most employment were spears (cheap because they largely consisted of wood plus practical as they allowed you to engage your enemy from a distance whilst you held your shieldwall intact). Axes were predominantly wood, too, and could be used when your spear breaks, falls or became lodged in a dead or dying body.

Swords and metal armour were the equipment of the wealthy (chieftains).

[gap-var-ginnunga]

i rarely reblog things for commentary, but here it is. (did i mention my hardon for longswords?)

[fuckyeahvikingsandcelts]

Freaking Vikings knew what they where doing

[abnest]

you can tell katanas were the last resort because they are shorter than their scabards.

this allows for a quicker draw; the idea is that if you are using a katana, your enemy is already upon you. you need speed, not range. plus, because the actual dimmensions of the inner katana could not be judged by the outside scabbard, it meant that even an experianced fighter could not gage how long it would take you to draw, and they were likely to underestimate it.

i dont want this post to make katanas sound like shit; they were very good at what they did, but what they did is more limited than what today’s media would lead you to believe.

[itzbatz-deactivated20240722]

[theinfamouschubbykitten]

MOTHERFUCKING BEAUTIFUL

[a-cumberbatch-of-cookies]

I’m going to pretend after this, these two wonderful ladies went for coffee and came to the conclusion they needed to become badass superheroines that fight bigotry and intolerance together.

[reyetso]

I love fouseytube. This guy plays pranks like this pretending to be a dick, kidnapper, bully, all kinds of things, on hidden camera, to see how people would react to the situation and try to show people how ignorant they can be and how things need to change. He’s so good at it. (For example, this girl who stood up to him, as opposed to everyone else who just walked away. He of course didn’t mean any of what he said, it was to make a point.)

[sigilyph]

yeah it’s here http://youtu.be/6XPjQrQs3JY it’s both nice and heartbreaking but it’s definitely worth a watch as an eye-opener

[ironfe26]

Technology.

Ok then, as of right now this minute, this is the first Blog entry, on the first Blog I have ever written. Until writing this I didnt even know that Blog was a shortened term for "Web Log", which is quite bad really, since its a word I hear most every day from various different sources, I knew what it referred but not what It meant, I guess thats just how much the internet has influenced the modern lexicon. 

I think my main problem is that ive become an isolationist. Much like America post 1918 I've shied away from becoming involved with others. Only unlike the USA I'm not detaching myself from the League of Nations and European politics to focus on my own domestic affairs. Rather I chose to ignore the existence of new or pre-existing forms of communication and expression such as Twitter and Tumblr, considering them strange and unwieldy, instead I chose to limit myself to the bastion of facebook afteral isn't that everything you could want online?!

I was finally kicked to my senses after I tried to dip my toe into the strange murky waters of Twitter. To me a world of short messages and were people called the number sign a hash tag. After signing up to twitter I was instantly bamboozled by this new world and promptly hid under my duvet. When I emerged several days later having almost forgotten the experience, I visited my parents  where upon my mother asked me whether it was my dormant twitter account she had stumbled across online. I replied yes and that I hadn't posted anything on it yet because I was confused. Cue my Mother....MY MOTHER, extolling the virtues of twitter and its ease of use to me. It was at this point I realised something was wrong. Isnt meant to be my generation explaining this kind of thing? Normally in a slow and clear voice and ending with the phrase "actually don't worry about it"?

This was what I needed! This was the kick up the proverbial backside that would be the catalyst to knock me out of my facebook induced coma, and into the multitude to other social and creative site out there! Did I happen? Did it Hell. After a few tweets on Twitter, mostly along the lines of "what the hell am i doing #confused"   I pretty much gave up, I still follow a few people on twitter, those I genuinely have an interest in, but I'm not going to follow people for the hell of it. Now a days the only person who seems to take notice of my tweets is my mum, make of that what you will.

So then, what am I doing here, shouldn't I have gone back to my self induced exclusionism on facebook? No, I thought I would try something else, something different from twitter, something that would let me rant and rave about whatever is on my mind without demanding that I condense it down to 140 characters, and since i'm pretty sure my other half puts up with enough of my diatribe on any number of subjects, I thought that I would infact try blogging, after all, why not, what's the worst that could happen?

ironfe26