this is not the blog you should be on

meat is delicious meat is the best. nom nom nomels noming 26, goober, nsfw shit, MDNI, WEIRD SHIT

[the-californicationist]

John Price gets home early from work and catches you touching yourself in bed. You think he’ll take over and finish the job for you, but instead he just kneels at the foot of the mattress, unzips his pants, and begs you to let him watch while he jerks off to you fingering (vibing? dildo-ing?) your hole until you come??

Is this anything? Idk. I can’t stop thinking about it though.

Perhaps this calls for an impromptu Cali Challenge? If you’re game, that is.

Pick your poison, COD authors, and help out your poor, feral Cali Cat:

John Price wants to watch…

Simon Riley wants to watch…

Kyle Garrick wants to watch…

Johnny MacTavish wants to watch…

No pressure tags: @fireya-x // @sageyxbabey // @pricesugarwife // @ghouljams // @gemmahale // @mikichko // @deadbranch // @/you. Yes, you!! C’mon!

[sw11ft]

The community is great and all but some of y’all are unhinged… 😅

Also shoutout to @pampanope for drawing my name in a cool way I’m gonna use it as a watermark more often now :D

[anyknotrants]

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

[quarterlifekitty]

Imagine he still gets a morning wood the first few days on deployment because his body got used to having you wake up next to him/you waking him up nicely when he's home.

I'm a john price girlie but this works with all of them.

Who am I to deny a John price girlie? God knows you could use a win in your life. And an older man to express approval for you while telling you he’ll never leave. (This is JOKES I am also a John price girlie)

So. cw: somno/free use but I totally believe that when you’re in a relationship with John and living with him? That’s consent, babyyy. Maybe you have a bracelet you can take off for when you’re really not in the fucking mood, but otherwise? He doesn’t care what you’re doing. He’s getting in there whenever and wherever he wants.

And this especially goes for when you’re all drowsy and nodding off when he’s around. Doesn’t matter if it’s on the couch or in bed— he’s pulling you into his hold so he can grind against you, pushing your clothes aside so he can use your bare cunt to get himself off.

God knows he’s doing it constantly when you go to bed. And it’s conditioned him— he’s so used to waking up hard and having you accessible. When he feels sweet he’ll be gentle, try his best to preserve your beauty sleep, the only evidence that anything even happened will be the sticky load dripping out from your pussy when you get up. But sometimes he feels a little more hungry for it— so he’ll just manhandle you however he likes, probably get you prone under him while he fucks you hard and kneads at your ass cheeks.

And sometimes, you’re the one who gets cute about it. If you wake up early you might push your ass against him, or he’ll blink awake to see you under the covers, swirling your tongue around his tip before lazily sucking it into your mouth, spit mixed with his pre trailing down his shaft.

So when he wakes up on deployment after a long leave? He’s not a happy camper. Ask the rest of the team— they notice the way he scowls after he’s worked up, feeling the edges of whatever shitty cot is his current bed, and not finding a soft, warm little body for him to shove his leaking dick into.

He doesn’t like to jerk off when he’s away from you. Waste of perfectly good seed. So he’ll take his icy cold showers and save up for when he’s home and it can find a home inside your womb.

[connorsui]

"Girls like it when men ignore em"

LIEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

I WANT THAT MAN OBSESSED WITH ME

I WANT HIM THINKING ABOUT ME LIKE A PRAYER, EVERY BREATH, EVERY MOVE, EVERY CHOICE HE MAKES ANCHORED TO ME. I WANT HIM LOSING SLEEP BECAUSE THE IDEA OF ME IS TOO LOUD IN HIS HEAD TO LET HIM REST. I WANT HIM TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS—LIKE THE WORLD COULD BURN TO ASHES AROUND US AND HE WOULDN’T CARE AS LONG AS I’M STILL STANDING THERE.

I WANT HIM TO SPEAK MY NAME LIKE IT’S SACRED, TO LOOK AT ME LIKE I HOLD THE UNIVERSE IN MY HANDS. TO BE HAUNTED BY THE SOUND OF MY LAUGH, THE TRACE OF MY SCENT ON HIS SKIN, THE MEMORY OF MY TOUCH. I WANT HIS OBSESSION TO BORDER ON MADNESS, TO FEEL ME IN EVERY PART OF HIM LIKE A HUNGER HE CAN’T EVER SATISFY.

I WANT TO BE HIS FIRST THOUGHT

[baduzzxy]

thinking about your baby boy patting his little chubby tummy and pouting, mumbling “daddy hungy” while his bright blue eyes stare up at the man he inherited it from.

and Johnny delightfully kneels down to his son’s level to pretend to eat him, and it triggers the hyperactivity only a toddler can possess.

so now instead of having meal time then nap time after, you now have to deal with the hour long running and giggling session with the both of them 😒 but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[sunni-stuff]

Am I the only one who thinks Ghost fucks with fat bitches?

He loves sinking his fingers into your plush waist, burying his face into your tummy on lazy days, and quite literally picking you up whenever he can to show anyone watching that he's not afraid of a little weight, what else was all that training for?

This may or may not be self-indulgent, but I know there's big girls out there who love this freak.

[drizzledrawings]

I’m gnashing my teeth like a child of Cain

If this is a prison I’m willing to bite my own chain

[drizzledrawings]

This is one of my favourite pieces I’ve ever made, but it’s also the most controversial

Since posting it I’ve become even more comfortable in my identity, and I think the support I got from this really helped solidify and validate my experience. Seeing so many people relate to it, despite the hate was fucking awesome

[coolstuffeee]

[skeptiql]

Was in an old man mood tonight

[thursday]

[gutterviking]

Forth wall reinforced by Kermit The Frog

[officialqueer]

I choose to believe.

[apriicus]

how i process fiddlestan

[lazerblues]

Happy aniversary you dumb fucks @staff

[true-king-of-monsters]

Happy anniversary, you stupid fucks!

[homopower]

[backseat-burner]

happy anniversary

[dialupmodern]

happy anniversary shitheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chalkboard-wolf]

Happy anniversary peebrains

[backseat-burner]

lmfao shoutout to whoever queued this in 2022 and destroyed my notifications today <3

[luckywildgirl]

Summer of Love by Gene Anthony

[aysweezy]

[p1nkmic]

(Really Late) Happy New Year!

One of the goals I set for 2023 was to do more studies and practices in various areas where I felt that my art was weak, sooo I drew these trying to improve structure and stylization and I’m satisfied with the result but there’s still a long way to go!

[rejected-reapermain]

Was thinking… should I make a cozy Ghoap sticker bundle?

[ghostslollipop]

inexperienced!reader, but not in a sexual way but a romantic way. inexperienced!reader who has only ever been someone people hook up with, but never someone dated. inexperienced!reader who has all but sworn off love because it just never seems to find her. inexperienced!reader who starts to get real freaked out when Lieutenant Riley starts dropping by the admin office and stares at her through the windows. inexperienced!reader who starts to bring bear mace to work and keeps it in her purse in fear that she is being stalked by the large man. Lieutenant Riley who has, for the first time in his life, become absolutely smitten with a bird. Lieutenant Riley who never once stepped foot in the admin building before her started working there. Lieutenant Riley who always sent Sergeant McTavish to take the finished paperwork over, so his presence is immediately noticed among the admin staff. inexperienced!reader who really starts fearing for her safety after a note was left on her windshield with a time and place. inexperienced!reader who sprays Lieutenant Riley with the bear mace when he moved from around the car next to her when she is examining the weird note. Sergeant McTavish who watched it all unfold from the inside of the weapons building. Sergeant McTavish who breaks out in a full sprint to see if Lieutenant Riley was okay and if you had lost your marbles. inexperienced!reader who gets in her car and locks the doors before calling her boss who is still inside. Laswell and Captain Price who comes out to Sergeant McTavish bent over laughing, Lieutenant Riley on the ground in pain, and inexperienced!reader sitting shellshocked in her car. Laswell who gets the whole story and mandates workplace safety and harassment training for all the 141. Captain Price who formally apologizes to her the next day on behalf of his ‘muppets’. Lieutenant Riley who sends Sergeant Garrick, who you find quite sweet and charming, to explain that Lieutenant Riley thinks you’re absolutely stunning and wants a do-over, but is worried to approach you for not only his safety but out of embarrassment. inexperienced!reader who gives Sergeant Garrick a second phone number she has, as she is still extremely weary of Lieutenant Riley. Lieutenant Riley who definitely doesn’t sulk after you don’t answer his ‘Hello.’ after 3 days. inexperienced!reader who is freaking out, now not because she’s being stalked but because someone is showing interest in her and she’s confused on how to handle it. Lieutenant Riley who makes a lot of noise before he walks up to her while she is leaving a day later. Lieutenant Riley who finally apologizes in person and admits he’s very embarrassed about scaring a pretty bird like you. Sergeant McTavish and Sergeant Garrick who watch on from a distance ready to intervene incase we have another bear mace situation. inexperienced!reader who gives him her real phone number and scurry’s off to her car. Lieutenant Riley whose smirk is wide under his mask, knowing that he is going to court the shit out of you to prove he is exactly the man you need.

a/n: wrote this instead of working. enjoy. maybe i’ll expand on this, maybe not 💋 xoxo