but cake tho

hey i'm chrissy and i'm aesthetic as fuck sometimes nsfw

[luxlightly]

Listen, yes of course Eddie Brock is an exceptional example of an alien fucker but I need everyone to understand that the symbiote is canonically from a planet where not only does everything reproduce asexually but the even idea of wanting any kind of relationship with a host was considered so insane and devious that the Venom symbiote was sentenced to death for it. And consider how weird a human must be to them. Humans are as much aliens to symbiotes as symbiotes are to humans.

What I’m saying is in terms of being an alien fucker, NOBODY beats the Venom Symbiote.

[meltyneon]

Symbiote society: Loving and respectful relationships shall be punished by death.

Venom symbiote: Guess I’ll die

[katness-lovelace-deactivated201]

You can thank Deadpool for making Venom go against the grain.

[concealedblade-deactivated20210]

when you know he only likes clowns so you spend all day getting your makeup on and he’s grinding his 8.5x7″ shit against your lime green overalls and youre about to drop that circus pussy down on him when he asks if he can be the top in the stephen king roleplay this time

[unfaggy]

am I hallucinating

[lickystickypickyzzz]

[bundyspooks]

reblogging for the sheer Halloween ambiance of these pics

[365daysofhalloween]

!!!!

[sarenderpity]

The black cats are witches that summoned their pumpkin friend for a cuddle party

[queerhannibal]

Absolutely bonkers shit that legitimately happens in NBC Hannibal (an incomplete list):

Will beats a furry to death while fantasizing about Hannibal getting off to being beaten to death

A man??? Gets folded into an origami heart???????

A villains actual honest to god evil plan is to steal Will’s face so that he can eat Hannibal’s penis with it

Said villain then gets eaten by his pet eel??? After having his sperm harvested so his sister’s girlfriend can bear his child and inherit his wealth??

Honestly just Mason Verger in general: ??????

That time Hannibal waves at another serial killer and says “hello I love your work” before killing him

Hannibal wears at least four patterns at the same time and no one gouges their eyes out or tells him it looks awful

Fish jello treated as a delicacy that the average American would consume without vomiting

Feel free to add more

[existingcharactersdiehorribly]

“Is your social worker in that horse?”– a legitimate question that gets a rather heartbreakingly sincere “Yes” in response.

[granpappy-winchester-deactivate]

Hannibal getting caught sniffing Will during their session, then critiquing how he smells and Will deciding this is totally acceptable behavior and coming back for more????

Hannibal getting off to Will telling him he’d kill Hannibal with his hands

Will sailing across the ocean to find Hannibal in Europe while making a pit-stop at Hannibal’s childhood castle 

Hannibal being the King of Pettiness and the Queen of Drama and sending a serial killer after Will’s new pre-assembled family because he did not spend three years in a glass cage manned by his ex-girlfriend and the Disappointing Chilton to be disrespected like this

[thosejuniper-berries]

Hannibal stuffing an ear down his only friend’s throat to frame him for murder then murdering the judge that pronounced said friend guilty, because he got lonely.

Frederick Chilton’s entire existence

[theredfields]

Hannibal breaking a guy’s neck out of second hand embarrassment

The entire fifthsome scene

Hannibal feeding a man his own baked leg and the man’s first comment after taking a bite being ‘My compliments to the Chef’

Hannibal straight up making cannibal jokes in front of a Criminal Profiler, three Psychiatrists, a Reporter and an FBI Agent specialized in Behavioral Sciences

[queerhannibal]

Hannibal and Will just decide to adopt a daughter together after having known each other for like three days; still aren’t sure if they’re even friends

Jack goes to dinner at Hannibal’s house even more often after he finds out it’s all human meat

Will spends months having seizures and somehow never has one in front of anyone except Hannibal, nor drives off the road

Hannibal eats a Raw Human Lip that was bitten off its native face by someone other than him and then mailed

[queerhannibal]

Some more from the replies and tags:

The human cello

The man who castrated himself, then flayed the skin off his own back to make wings, then strung himself up in a barn????? (Who could also somehow See evil people??????)

The man Hannibal grafted into a tree (not formed into a tree, not stuck branches on, but literally grafted into a living tree)

Dolarhyde eating that painting. He just fuckin cronches it

The time there is a LIVING BIRD inside a cadaver

The human totem pole how could I forget this most iconique creation

A pig is used semi-successfully as a surrogate host for a human embryo????

Hannibal realizes that he’s heartbroken and LITERALLY says “I have to eat him” (then proceeds to attempt to do so)

[rosewater1997]

all i ever think about is skincare and getting rawed

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

have you guys considered hobbies

[retroactivebakeries]

all i ever think about is tabletop roleplaying games and getting rawed

[swampfevercapital]

have you considered skincare

[dankmemeuniversity]

[montparnassee]

Soon it will be Autumn and Persephone can go back to pegging her husband in peace and I can wear a fucking jumper

[madderhatter]

[goblincrystals]

Did Roy ever find his boyfriend?

[madderhatter]

he did

[troyesivan]

happy for him

[rissi18]

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART THEY ADOPTED A DAUGHTER NAMED TANGO BECAUSE IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO!!!! This is them:

and they even had a book written about them:

[thebusylilbird]

guys Tango found a girlfriend :’)

[nonbinarysapphic]

This is gay lesbian solidarity

[funkytownmp3]

ah yes peaches……… the lesbian apple

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

plums .. the goth peach

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where when men give me shit at my job, I choose to instead speak to their wives/girlfriends/female counterpart. I had a dude today try to yell at me and I ignored him and instead spoke in a very level voice to his wife instead. He literally stomped his feet like a fucking toddler and said “stop ignoring me! I’m talking!” And his wife said “George, please use a quieter voice. You’re embarrassing me.”

[afronerdism]

You are a genius and I’m using this

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lol I learned it from my mom. She does this all the time and eventually the guy either sulks off somewhere or adjusts his behaviour and THEN she’ll address him. I did this with my friends puppies when I was training them and it works the same tbh

[jamaicanblackcastoroil]

[theybby-deactivated20231001]

My family are farmers from my mothers side and when I was a kid my gradmother said something along the lines of “If you can grow anything you have a pure heart, plants feed off your soul as much as they feed off the earth. Be kind of them , they pray to god” she told me this while taking off the spikes of cactus pears. Now I buy dying plants from the hardware store on Clarence and easily bring them back to life, everytime I doubt my heart I bring home hoards of plants to bring back to life as if it’s a test of the purity of my soul.

[capngorgeous]

Every plant I have dies…

[theybby-deactivated20231001]

According to an old lady in a old ass village in Palestine you a bitch then

[vanessagillings]

Unlike most of my work, this is half-traditional, half-digital.  I wasn’t happy with how I painted his coat so I painted it twice and digitally composited the two paintings…but anyway, may I present the king’s cartographer!

[with-practice]

wilddd

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

Shut the fuck……

[vegetans]

I knew she was that girl.

[chikier]

whenever somebody responds with “I beg your pardon?” assert your dominance by announcing “Then Beg.”

[did-you-know]

A stray dog in Bolivia joined a monastery and became a monk. The resident monks of St. Francis Monastery, named for the patron saint of animals, decided to adopt a dog they call ‘Friar Bigotón’ from the Cold Nose Project, which hopes the dog’s story will now inspire more monasteries to take in homeless pets. Source Source 2 Source 3

[t-rexinavneck]

@sskullsandb0nes

[thisiswhereireblogmymusic]

AKJSDFKLSD THEY MADE HIM A MONK

[sandstonesunspear]

are we just going to ignore the fact that they named him friar moustache?

[doujinshi]

ariana looks at pete with the same devotion bottoms look at their top once they’ve done the bare minimum

[doujinshi]

[ahou-dori]

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