The Ballad of Hazy Davy and Goodnight Jane
Courtesy of Bella Ventura
None of us really got the full story of how they got together.
She came from the future trophy wives of the world crowd, his scene was more matches and alcohol than leaders of tomorrow.
The only thing they seemed to have in common was a mutual distaste for Vitamin D.
However it happened they sure did seem to enjoy each others’ company...
...even if that company was usually enhanced by whatever additive he had lying around when she came over.
They were good together, like a cool summer breeze taking the edge off a midday sun.
But all good things come to an end, some with a fizzle, others... with a bang.
We were taking an extended 5 at Ventura Place (that'd be chez moi, but we'll get to that) when trouble found our gang.
Davy and Jane were slumming on the sofa. Her with her big doe eyes and long blonde hair, him with scruff along his face and a laid back air.
He had this lighter he'd flick and flack forward and back. Never left it lit for long but couldn't keep it cold either.
Me, Ms. Bella Ventura, sat beside them with a pink streak in my hair, a piercing in my nose, and the cool glaze of a zen master.
Davy's Doper Dudes dozed off opposite, joints in their mouths, bongs on the table, grins on their faces.
Unfortunately, Jane’s dad wasn’t one for entertaining notions of independent thought when it came to his little girl.
Once she was old enough to say “I love you daddy” that was old enough for him.
I mean Davy wasn’t exactly the sort of person you’d call a ‘good influence’, but his vibe wasn't exactly harsh.
But fathers have a way of listening to them that isn’t so good with new ways of thinking.
It didn’t help that Big Daddy had some pull with the sorts of people who rarely need pushing.
He came knocking with a couple of choice members of the goon squad and a 'tude in need of a cool down.
We’re not exactly the stand and fight types, we tend to break not bend. They needed a ride outta there, and I wasn’t keen to stay.
We slipped out the back as Daddy barged in. Davy's buds bought time as best they could but it was boys against men and this ain’t Peter Pan.
They needed a port in the storm, and I needed a place to stay. Chez Madam Marie may not have been the obvious choice but hey, it was warm.
Chez Madam Marie: the home of class and comfort. At least that's what Madam Marie will tell ya, and I'm not one to judge.
The Fair Madam took some convincin'. Seems our sort are quite unsightly. But kinder hearts prevail in my experience, this being no exception.
The star-crossed lovers flew in in a flash. I sauntered up behind them, but then I've always ran cool, not rash.
The girls at Chez Marie took a liking to the duo (seems Davy's cuter than I thought).
Davy's eyes couldn't help but wander, but his lovestruck heart would not.
We figured we'd hide till things cooled down then scamper off into the night. The girls suggested some disguises but Davy don't like it hot.
As their breath caught up to them their minds skipped on ahead. We pooled our thoughts for their next move, not sure where to turn.
They clung to each other like coral to reef. Not that that wasn't the norm with those two, but get why I'd mention it here?
I remember him telling me he'd die without her, dying with her never crossed his mind.
I'm not saying he tempted fate, but I wouldn't argue if you were so inclined.
Some stars burn bright but go real quick, others glow forever off to the side.
You can pick which you'd rather be, but I know the ones I remember and the ones I don't and they sure didn't flicker small.
Davy's lighter blazed and blinked. Jane whispered in his ear. I sat off to the side doing my own thing, but this ain't my story here.
We ran through all the usual haunts but none screamed sanctuary in a time of need (unless sobriety counts as it's own curse).
Our train of thought got derailed by violent knocking at the door. Seems Daddy's dirtier than we thought.
Him and his goons (now a gang of four) queued up outside ready for war.
The girls rushed to the window and peaked out to watch the bulls (or should that be asses?)
Jane and Davy looked to me but I was as lost as them. Madam Marie showed us her back door and we snuck out with nowhere to run.
Daddy knocked hard a second time (Guess patience is not his strong suit).
We braced against the back wall, ears perked for the sound of a lowered guard.
Madam Marie made her arrangements, then let Big Daddy in the hall. He wasn't keen to talk to her, but she was keen to stall.
The goon squad barged in after and their search started there. What they found they may have been expecting, but they sure weren't prepared.
The girls came out in numbers wearing dresses barely there or just barely dressed.
The slack-jawed thugs did their best to ignore them but it was girls against men and y'know it's just so hard to focus.
We got the signal from their sounds and snuck off out the back. We had no place to go but then we're used to that.
We stumbled into the nearest dive to catch our breath. We kept our heads down and slithered to the corner.
If I'd known then that Daddy doesn't distract so easy I might've tried to get more distance, some things you only learn the hard way.
The first two cops slipped in unnoticed. Who knew he worked both sides of the law? Sure seems like cheating.
The next two caught our eye. They slowly spread around us, All in favour of excessive force said ‘Aye!’
We stared each other down across the room, their shit-eater grins sucking the seconds right out of the air.
I wasn't waiting around for them to close the distance. It was time to hero up.
Now me I'm no fighter, I can't stress that enough, but when the moment comes a-callin', some things you gotta do.
The first guy made his move so I kicked the nearest stool real hard. He flipped right over at least two times before he hit the floor.
Next thing to go was our table, flipped right on it's side. I aimed the lovebirds to the kitchen and shoved them out the door.
The second pig waddled over baton drawn as I stood there blatantly unarmed. I felt the first swing and the next, the rest is just a blur.
But we're not here for my tale, we're here for those krazy kats. And what happened next, well I'm not sure you'll ever forgive.
They bolted through the kitchen. Pots hissing left and right, the flew right out the loading doors, thought that was out of sight.
They exploded into that alley, not ready for what came next. Big Daddy standing staring them down, a .45 to back him up.
Guess it's not hard to guard two doors, especially when you've blocked one off. Behind them lay a long walk, in front the pirate's plank.
Off to the side in their castles all the switchblade kids watched. Jaws-dropped, eyes-gaped, shells-shocked.
Jane tried to put herself between harm and Hazy, but nothing was going between guy and gun.
Daddy offered one last reprieve. “Just walk away kid, I'm sure your legs can take it”.
Davy took Jane and whispered softly, “Watch what happens next”. She tried to grab him but he was too quick, and all she caught was shadow.
He took his lighter in his hands, flicked it on for good luck. He took one step toward Big Daddy, and that was all it took.
Daddy drew and shot to kill. It rang longer than I could count.
They stood and gawked not sure what happened then drip... drip... drip...
He fell, she dived, they met halfway and then they hit the dirt. She looked at him with so much sadness, he looked at her with guilt.
Daddy came for his prize, he'd mount it on the wall. But the audience hadn't learnt that villains usually win, and so the missiles fell.
First toys, then shoes, then pots, then plants, they all came flying far. Daddy ducked for cover and called for back-up, as a door lay ajar.
Too kids came running out the door, frying pans raring to fight. Jane hoisted her babe up to her shoulder, he grinned a jester's smirk.
They slipped inside the fortress of innocence led by armed guard and waited for their breath.
Orphans orbited the lovers as Jane did her best to mend her partner's wound. That's when the knocking started.
They tried to ignore it as best they could, but they knew what knocking meant, and they were running short on doors.
Outside the cops and goons joined forces, and it's already hard enough to tell them apart.
Davy and Jane they're not religious but there they prayed real hard. From above came a shiny treasure: a pair of keys from their guards.
The light from the setting sun shattered through the window. Shards of light caught in the duo's eyes, then turned into winks of purpose.
Jane hoisted Davy up on his feet and they shuffled to the garage. A hot red thing lay in wait, primed and ready to go.
Jane slipped her Hazy into his seat, she slipped behind the wheel. One last kiss for good luck, one last look then GO!
Outside the mob stood sabres drawn, their guns primed to fire. Daddy was at the front of the line, his face stuck in ire.
They puzzled at the rumblin’ engine, but didn't worry what for. Wasn't till the kids were halfway down the street they noticed the back door.
The pursuit started quick as a flash, as sirens roared to life. The streets cleared out real fast.
Some say they drove forever, never stopping never caught. Others say they gunned 'em down, both of them getting shot.
Some say you can still hear their voices if you listen real good. Tune the radio to the far end if you're ever in the mood.
Me I know what really happened, but I've spoke long enough. If you're wondering what happened to the lovely duo, then all I'd say is tough.
Sorry to if you think me a pain, but that's all I've to say, of the Ballad of Hazy Davey and Goodnight Jane...
