whatever

she/her, 27

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my mom has this little habit of making you feel worse when you're already feeling bad. love that.

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I need people who, when i tell them I'm on my third workout of the day and I've already went on a 5 kilometer jog and only ate a bowl of salad and a protein shake, I need people to not say "slaaay stay consistent!! I'm so proud!! you inspire me to work out again too!" or people who don't agree that *water* with beans in it (coffee) has hella calories. at least a million. or people who tell me not to eat too many what? bananas? eggs? grapes? cause they're too many calories and too much sugar. that's like so incredibly bad and there's only very few tiny gaps in my mind where I realize that this is not normal but in fact so fucking bad for me but maybe in the society we've created people just truly checked out to an extent where health is not important anymore whatsoever. like who can fuck their body up the most, let's give them a medal and praise them into heaven

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people have to keep fighting their eating disorders even after recovery every fucking day because we normalize shit that isn't normal in the slightest. watching a tiktok of someone saying they skipped breakfast that day because they were running late so they just grabbed something from a bakery on their way to work and every other comment was "who even eats breakfast these days 🙄" can yall get a mother fucking grip on reality?? holy shit it's hard out here and people just purposefully make it harder just for shits and giggles. God I hate it here sometimes

[is-this-how-it-is-now]

I need people who, when i tell them I'm on my third workout of the day and I've already went on a 5 kilometer jog and only ate a bowl of salad and a protein shake, I need people to not say "slaaay stay consistent!! I'm so proud!! you inspire me to work out again too!" or people who don't agree that *water* with beans in it (coffee) has hella calories. at least a million. or people who tell me not to eat too many what? bananas? eggs? grapes? cause they're too many calories and too much sugar. that's like so incredibly bad and there's only very few tiny gaps in my mind where I realize that this is not normal but in fact so fucking bad for me but maybe in the society we've created people just truly checked out to an extent where health is not important anymore whatsoever. like who can fuck their body up the most, let's give them a medal and praise them into heaven

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this whole eating disorder culture we've created is kinda wild. I could literally tell my girlies that I haven't eaten in 3 days and only drank 5 cups of coffee a day and they'd be like "yaaaaas slay!!! get that summer body ready" like what the fuck? xD since when is it normal for everybody to skip meals and be on diets all year? people used to go to therapy for that shit because hey... that's an eating disorder 🤙 when'd we normalize that so much?

i literally told a friend of mine that I made a poached egg on toast the other day and she said "can't have eggs every day, there's a lot of calories in them" girl what the fuck

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oh my god!! those who wait by haley cass has me giggling and kicking my fucking feet 🫠🫠 stooooop! I can't. Jesus fucking christ

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now what in the fuck is this?? I'm at 85% and they just broke up? tell last 20% of romance books are supposed to be happy. that's the rule! you can't just change the rules now! I've read 539 pages just for them to break up now? well I'm so glad I got invested then

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oh my god!! those who wait by haley cass has me giggling and kicking my fucking feet 🫠🫠 stooooop! I can't. Jesus fucking christ

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I was talking to a coworker earlier and they asked me how I manage to read so much cause I always seem to be reading a new book every other day. so I explained to them that i have insomnia so whenever I wake up at like 2am and can't sleep, I read for a couple hours. and they said, and I quote, "oh my god I'm so jealous, girl I wish"

🙃 what?

it's giving those two girls on the podcast going "I dont wanna get rid of my mental illness, my mental illness is what makes me me ✌️😋😋"

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my toxic trait is that when I'm sick I feel like I'm never gonna get better. I'll just be miserable for the rest of my life. and then I wake up the next day and feel absolutely fine. maybe I'm just dramatic lol

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when I say I want a girl that looks like she could kill me, they are who I'm talking about

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currently reading 'saving Noah' and so far I've played devils advocate. I've tried to feel for the mom and keep my mind open, as someone who got sexuallt assaulted as a child, I've tried my best. halfway through the book now, she's lost me. going behind the fathers back to have Katie sleep over? no. not acceptable. she's a cunt. and Noah literally knowing that she lied about the father saying yes and just supporting her and enabling it?? he didn't have any leeway to begin with but he deserves the worst. the mom deserves the worst. I hope the dad takes the daughter, gets a divorce and fucks off with her.

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finished it. flip that shit. fuck the dad. love the mom. cried a little.

[is-this-how-it-is-now]

currently reading 'saving Noah' and so far I've played devils advocate. I've tried to feel for the mom and keep my mind open, as someone who got sexuallt assaulted as a child, I've tried my best. halfway through the book now, she's lost me. going behind the fathers back to have Katie sleep over? no. not acceptable. she's a cunt. and Noah literally knowing that she lied about the father saying yes and just supporting her and enabling it?? he didn't have any leeway to begin with but he deserves the worst. the mom deserves the worst. I hope the dad takes the daughter, gets a divorce and fucks off with her.

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okay I finished it all. Now I just need someone to tell me when I'll stop crying cause so far it's not looking like anytime soon.

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so let me get this straight, the first book is: murder is bad. real bad. need to find the murderer because - justice!! the second book is: well maybe its not black and white. maybe grey is a color that exists sometimes. and the last is just: ehhhh well actually, hear me out!!

wild. wild ride in absolutely beautiful words and sentences and paragraphs.

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just finished the first part of As good as dead. I'm gonna go on a mental health walk now.

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okay I was wrong about Ravi. I apologize, I didnt realize that he's americas sweetheart (I think I might be too gay to see that, my bad)

but can we at least agree that Daniel da Silva is a little bitch?

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it's ravi, isn't it? the one leaving her notes to stop searching?

also andie is def still alive, right?

for background: I'm about 2/3 into the book

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so that was 0/2 who would've thought. I still have 2 more books to maybe prove me right.

please i need this

[is-this-how-it-is-now]

it's ravi, isn't it? the one leaving her notes to stop searching?

also andie is def still alive, right?

for background: I'm about 2/3 into the book