i don't think that anyone should particularly listen to me when it comes to iran, but some of the posts here are just a bit frustrating to witness.
the vast majority of my family lives there. my entire family is very against the islamic republic. that's something i've grown up with my entire life. when i was in elementary school (i think first grade), i was gently reprimanded by a teacher for bringing up some current news in the classroom. and that was bizarre to me because the most frequent channel my parents had on was the news channel so if anything happened, we'd know. my extended family has tried countless times to get green cards, and it's only a select few who've gotten the chance. i can trace the pattern of messaging apps we used with family because new ones would get blocked off. i've visited a few times and i love my family. each visit is overlaid with the state of the country. my uncle spitting at a statue as we leave the airport, a cousin saying (this was at least 7 years ago now) that he can't imagine bringing a child into a country like iran, a distant relative (i think she was 12 at the time) railing at the renaming of one of the streets in tehran after soleimani.
i'm not as connected and close to my family as i'd like. i'm not good at farsi, didn't grow up in a very iranian community, yada yada yada. but i hear a lot through my parents, from my family. as the tiniest example ever, i was going through old coins with my mom once, and i just saw her face change when she realized that the coins and bills she could buy so much when she was a kid were genuinely worthless now. it's been so miserable for them, and my mother's side is on the higher class of citizens. they can afford more. they have a more stable life than the average citizen.
for reasons like this, it feels like i'm spitballing/talking out of my ass. the view i have is very insular and i'm sure if someone actually living in iran were to read this, they may roll their eyes.
the point is, over the summer when iran was struck, one of my uncles and cousins could've been killed. they were going to a house that was struck (thankfully it was empty). friday, my mom was telling her family not to go out to school/work and they were like lol. everyone is thankfully alive but those moments when the strike happened, multiple family members heard the strikes. One of them was I think about three streets down from one of my little cousin's schools.
my mom and i got into a mini argument when the u.s. kidnapping of maduro happened. i was not very pleased at the u.s. for i think reasons most people on tumblr also feel. or at least circles that i see. my mom didn't understand me. she was happy for the people, glad that he was gone, etc. I did manage to get through to her what my concern really was: i.e., the U.S.'s precedent with these invasions and all of that. She got it and she told me she was happy that I could think like that, but because of the state of the country, she couldn't. because law is such a flimsy thing in Iran (my aunt had acid thrown on her, my mom when she was young was questioned by the morality police, recently my uncle's neighbor hired people to beat him up for being loud, essentially). i forget how she phrased it but it was along the lines of "It's not lawful, it's not good, but when the law never mattered to begin with, you don't really think of it."
i visited home on friday and me and my dad were talking about iran. my dad said that he didn't see a way out of this or even forward without more violence---either externally or from the government to the people again.
this conflict isn't over. people are dying in iran, but the iran that i've known from this really disconnected perspective is one where there's always civilians being killed. usually by the government itself. either in blatant ways with how the government treats protestors or with the way it ruins its own people for its own profit. words can't describe how badly the sanctions affect the average civilian.
i... i can't say i "agree" with the u.s.'s actions. but i can't say that i'm not glad that khamenei is dead. i can't say i think the iranian people could've overcome their own government, at least not without a lot more death of civilians (more than what's currently happening at least). I believe several hundred civilians are now dead, including about 100 girls. and the iranian government killed thousands of protestors, including hundreds of children as well.
i don't know where i'm going with this. i guess i just want to say that like. in some ways, this (so far) is the lesser of two evils. i hate saying that so much. because the thing is while i grapple this, i message an iranian friend, hoping their family is okay.
and then they respond (this was very soon after the initial strikes, i think just when i learned my own family was safe) that everyone was celebrating. and i remember that most of their family, i believe, is in the united states. i remember speaking to them once and they mentioned how they could never go to iran unless there was a government change because of how awful the government was.
i didn't grow up in a diaspora community and sometimes, i'm really glad that i didn't. i already have had so little time with my family. i can't imagine if the time went down to almost zero. if i never got to meet my paternal grandparents or one of my aunts before they passed. i hope the next time i visit, no one else will be dead, but who's to say? and once again, my family are privileged. also i already deal with so much pahlavi glazing from my mom, i don't know how i'd feel next to an entire community wanting the shah to return. he may hvae been better than what followed, but there was a reason the people turned away.
i don't know what i really want to say here. don't know how to adequately express my frustration with the posts that fully condemn the u.s. (and israel) for its actions. yes, the u.s. is doing this for selfish actions. i don't think the administration (and certainly not the israeli administration) cares about the iranian people. but also the u.s. caused this with their actions against mosaddegh so isn't this just fair somehow? yes, the fall out is going to be terrible. Those hundred elementary school girls are dead. I'm going to lose it if I think about them longer, just like I'll lose it when I think of everyone else who's been murdered by one group or another. One thing my mom used to say was that no one gives a shit about Iranians---if we live or are killed.
i guess... just let some of this have this. i guess. and i get the urge to intellectualize but genuinely. and i am curious. what other way can things have changed?
