The thing I wrote first was too long so hi.

If i'm looking at tomorrow check my eyesight -- My policy is to call 'em as I see 'em

[officialunitedstates]

i feel like the discovery channel has like five shark weeks a year and we all keep forgetting when it is so they can get away with doing that

[falsebounty]

video games are a wonderful escape from reality until you see your reflection in the loading screen

[yiffmaster]

most tumblr jokes are utterly embarassing to say in public but today i said to someone “bold of you to assume i have dignity” and i won’t lie it was the most powerful I’ve felt in years

[nightmareshack]

I was in the car with my family and my mom was talking about how much time she thinks “our generation wastes on the internet” or whatever. And I was explaining how I use the internet to read and curate more interests and hobbies and expand my social horizons etc. and she was just like “Well fine if that’s how you want to live. You can waste all your time on the internet if that’s what you want but I beg to differ” and without thinking I just said “then beg.” and the entire car went silent until we got home. it was the biggest power move i have ever made to date

[toocooltobehipster]

“gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage”

[itmakesyousorry]

WHY DOES IT HAVE HANDS

[thebootydiaries]

Australian: making my way down town

Australian: walking fast

Magpie: aggressive bird noises

Australian: walking faster

[50shadesofyodaddysdick]

crush: why are you texting me its 3 in the morning?

me:

[trappunzelll]

[weeb-potato]

When your friend does something stupid in public and you can’t stop them:

[jesuisjournalistepopculture]

[itseasytoremember]

someone help me find that image of 4 cats being held up in front of a brightly coloured background. the cats look calm being held but each have their own personality

[itseasytoremember]

nvm i found it

[10938488482]

[pastweeks-deactivated20200512]

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[roslips]

I’m girlfriend

[cloudfreed]

THIS IS A FUCKIN HEIST MOVIE MY GOOODDD

[tempestpaige]

this deserves an oscar

[kawacy]

Following professional art tutorials like…

[kyashee-deactivated20170407]

i crACKED UP

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

*someone asks me to do something in my job, where i am paid to do things*

[mysharona1987]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I got a tattoo of Casper the friendly ghost on my thigh. When I would slap it, he’d whisper the answers to my math test to me. If anyone else tried to slap it, Casper would say “not so friendly now, huh?” and then proceed to choke them.

[queerasflux]

man, paying attention to who’s posting these makes a huge difference

[thefirstdayofhalloween]

Can u believe there are plants that are illegal Plants

[mylourrydiary]

Can you believe there is love that is illegal Love

[unplatziert]

Can you believe there are people who are illegal People

[bloomflowersbloom]