I’m Alive

Hooray

[the-middle-eastern-feminist]

Fuck the double standards.

[celceta]

when i was a kid i used to have the first episode of camp lazlo memorized like shot for shot line for line so when i was on long car rides i would just be like “ok im gonna watch tv now” and my parents would be like wtf this kid talking about

[alkalinerock]

[kaijuno]

PIZZA🍕 PASTA🍝 PUT👏 IT👏 IN👏 A👏 BOX📥 DELIVER📬 IT👏 TO👏 MY👏 HOUSE🏠 AND👏 PUT👏 IT👏 ON👏 MY👏 COCK🍆 MY👏 COCK🍆 MY👏 COCK🍆 MY👏 COCK🍆 MY👏 COCK🍆 MY👏 COCK🍆 MY COCK🍆 CHEESY🧀 ON👏 MY👏 PEENY🍆 AND👏 SOME👏 SAUCE-A🍅 ON👏 MY👏 BALLS🍒

[ruinedchildhood]

[virgoboy]

lmfao i keep getting recommended family guy clips on youtube and i keep watching them i guess because i hate myself and it's literally so fucking bad gdjdhdjdhdj but because i keep watching them i keep getting them recommended

[elevenacres]

Harvey Ball- creator of The Smiley Face

[nursery-deactivated20160926]

he looks like hes seen the devil with his own two eyes! good for him

[yungbara]

todays mood is making out. I want a tongue in my mouth right fucking now

[i-raised-you-danker-than-this]

well have i got some news for you

[newestvegas]

“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

“What an unexpected -“

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

“You’re trapped!”

“By societal convention!”

“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”

[hummingbird-hooligan]

This show is fucking brilliant.

[laughing-llama]

did everyone else read that in his voice

[striders]

@ my dog: if you want the rewards of playing fetch you must first submit to the mortifying ordeal of DROPPING THE BALL

[moisok20]

*eyes snap open in the middle of the night*

Mr Incredible helped his clients find loopholes in their insurance claims because it was the closest thing he had to being a hero in a long time

[luidilovins]

*third eye opens* Mr. Incredible originally joined the insurance company thinking that it was the closest he could be to helping people and found out that insurance companies were the real villains and did everything he could to dismantle the opressive establishment.

[whiskeywhitemage]

*seventh chakra ignites* elastigirl thicc

[pervocracy]

Me in history class: Wow, humanity has been through some fascinating times!  I wonder if I’ll ever live through major historical events!

Me now: NO NO NO NO NO I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE

[sunmied]

it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space travel. it was supposed to be space tr

[chazelle]

Nathan Fielder interviewed by Vancouver News.

[stability]

me talking to my family about social issues

[securitylucy-deactivated2018102]

[basketballhoopshowerhead]

[catchymemes]

[justnoodlefishthings]

boss told me it was "my turn" to name the bettas

this naturally was a huge mistake

[justnoodlefishthings]