[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

SEIZURE WARNING TO ALL

Putting this out everywhere. Everyone has been telling me how good Stranger Things, a new Netflix series out, is. I got up to season 1 chapter 5+ and almost lost it the last few chapters. Not one of these had a warning about flashing scenes. I'm not talking on and off, throughout the entire last few episodes 40 minutes of nothing but flashing. I sat and couldn't take it. I was getting headaches and felt symptoms coming on. PLEASE DO NOT LET ANYONE YOU KNOW WHO HAS SEIZURES, ETC WATCH THIS WITHOUT WARNING.

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

Do me a favor.

Dip your hand in a bowl of iced water. Hold it under until the ice melts and the water turns to room temperature. Do it. You’ll go numb, tears will strike your eyes from pain but it’s going to get better. First though, you have to remove your hand from the bowl of now-warm water and dip it straight in the hot water.

Now give yourself a slushy. At least a liter worth. Skull it. Let it freeze your brain. That headache, that burn. Feel it.

Hold it there. 

This is how Anti-NMDA Auto-Immune Encephalitis feels.

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

Just imagine

Imagine this: Everyone names their kids after harry potter characters. The next war isn't going to be guns, etc but wands that shoot electricity like tazers and bottles of acidic potions or some shit thrown at each other sort of like grenades. 

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

The mind of an Encephali, spoonie, complete mental mess with a million other disorders before the encephalitis came about.  We may be messed up, but we have minds and hearts and souls.

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

The child I was, am.

So, as of last week I relapsed my encephalitis, however, I am happy to say it has done EVERYTHING for the better. My memory is clear. My speech is good but there is one big thing. I have always believed me being transgender is because my spirit fell into the wrong body, therefore could never live as the male child physically. Now, beause of my “Hallucinations” I am able to go back to that boy with the wild imagination. I am able to finally live as the small boy I was meant to be....

So I have decided there is no shame in standing for what you believe in. Sometimes this means taking limits to the extent. Since I was little I have believed mythical things exist, fairies, elves, etc. So. To stop the conflict of the mind telling my heart isuch things are fake and my heart telling me they are real, I have officially decided to let them be real. If you guys see me talking to things, etc, to me they too are friends. It's like a christian believing in Jesus, if they believe he is there, he is real. My hallucinations I have always believed in but the mind is telling me they are not real but the heart says they are. So instead of conflict, I am standing more for what I believe. I don't care how crazy this makes me sound. I don't like normal. Never have. Arguing with myself about real and not real when I believe in it seems more stupid than the steps I have decided to take. I like this world better than the old one. For once I have found my happiness in finding the depth of nature and life and am finally able to see it for what it truly is. I have gained talents such as arst, writing, music from this and I am notabout to change it. It feels as though if this were to go, I would be at loss. A huge loss because what I've tasted will never be tasted again, therefore it would be dull. As I found last night when I thought they had gone. It was empty without my little creatures. They make me smile, they encourage me and give me a sense of my childhood I lost far too soon. I feel myself again. I am complete. Taking that away from me would be taking my entire self. Many won't understand but it's a me thing. It's something I don't want to ever lose. It's who I have always been just struck into reality rather than imagination. In other words. I have allowed myself to finally allow my imagination to run wild. If anyone has a problem with this, don't tell me to change it. Just ignore it. I'll ignore you and we can be happy in our own lives. If you're okay with it, feel free to go along with me. I feel more secure when it is gone along with, whether this means finding tadpoles in a washtroth or fishing in a bathtub. As children we were able to use our imagination, who said that had to end? You guys have been amazing support and I can't word how privledged I am to have you all. <3 So, I'd like to introduce myself as the lost boy. The boy who not only became a guy but was finally able to live as the boy he never got to. This boy may look older than he is but I feel my spirit finally has a chance to live in the body it has chosen. This is my new beginning.

[happytripawd]

A photo I’d normally crop, but…. omg the cat’s head. I…. had no idea he was there at the time.

[happytripawd]

I can’t stop laughing

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

Black Sheep

I tell you something, you tell me, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” but you don’t tell me. You yell at me. 

I tell you something, you don’t answer me. 

He tells you something, you tell him, “Yeah? Well thanks for that. We’ll sort that out.” and you don’t yell at him. But like me, he was once a she.

I ask you something, you reply, “NO! DON’T ASK ME FOR ANYTHING. I CAN’T BE BOTHERED. I’M USING IT.” and you don’t let it go.

He asked you something, you reply, “Yeah, alright. As long as I get it back because I’m using it.

You need help. I am there helping you but you push me away, telling me I can’t do it properly or I fucked it up.

You need help. He helps you and you appreciate it and even help him to help you. 

I get angry. You yell at me to shut up and stop over-reacting.

He gets angry. You ask him what’s wrong and how you can help.

I clean up and now I have lost your eyeliner when I haven’t seen it in the fridge, where you keep it.

He cleans up and it’s okay, you’re happy with him and thank him.

Now I’m being yelled at for not knowing where it is.

He tells you he hasn’t seen it and now you’re just grumbling, looking for it, yelling at me when you can.

He has mental illness. He has bipolar and depression.

I have mental illness that stressed you entirely. It stresses you everyday but you loved me like all fuck when I was dying. Now I am better from my encephalitis and other ailments besides fibro. You cast me out. Everyone you meet is better than me. I am not allowed to talk to people without you talking for me. I am dumb though. I have no memory and no independence. I don’t see what you’re doing. You can deny it. You can love like you never loved since I was ten and deny the lot of how you’re treating me.

I am standing here. Right here, mum. I am always going to stand here. Always support you.

Even though I can’t be accepted. 

Sorry for being sick.

Sorry for being replaceable.

Sorry for ruining your life.

Sorry, your daughter who you will not accept as a son unless Blaze tells you to.

[zimbolt-deactivated20260716]

woah

[fake-pokemon]

This is great haha

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

I- I actually don’t doubt this. It had to be something first for it to be thought of. Or made something.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Games that give a long tutorial accompanied by forced actions should have an “I’ve played this game before, stop patronizing me ” button.

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

Fucking agree!

[extramadness]

More quotes here

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

I just want to be the very best, the best there ever was .... 

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

Why is it always me?

I have always felt like Neville when he was younger. He was me right from my beginning and I was him in my beginning and then I grew stronger. One thing that hasn’t changed is the fact odd things happen to me. Like today, I want pizza. I really want pizza. So, I go on Facebook and there. In my face, is pictures. Pictures of pizza. Pizza. In my fucking face.  So. I spazz out and land on a blanket that is being crocheted. I pick my head up and spazz again. Not because the blanket didn’t bring me pizza but something was touching my ear. 

I go to mum as I realize what had just occurred and she laughs, wondering how I managed it. The person living with us comes in, looking for her crochet hook and THERE. Right in my goddamn hair, is the fucking hook. Stuck as dried shit. Knowing my luck, I knew it would take hours to get it untangled if I got it out. Thankfully she saved me from the hook of doom.  And that, is today’s story. 

*Wishes to insert “Starring me. And not Annette Manure.”* HOLY FUCK DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THIS SHOW!? 

[wordsnquotes]

I wish people could just say how they feel like ‘Hey I really don’t like when you do that to me’ or ‘Hey I’m in love with you’ or ‘Hi I really miss you and I think about you all the time’ without sounding desperate. Why can’t everyone be painfully honest and just save people the trouble.

Unknown  (via wordsnquotes)

I’m painfully honest and don’t like anyone who isn’t upfront with me. That’s why I keep to myself a lot. 

And it bites how many people can’t do this and so few can. If you want to be friends, we can be friends.

[wordsnquotes]

It’s strange to be so physically close to someone who’s so distant.

Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games  (via wordsnquotes)

Indeed, it’s odd living with distant people too.. it’s actually scary

[eenymeenypia]

My favorite thing about being disabled is that the word is like a magic banishment spell.

I can use it to end pretty much any conversation I want to stop having.  Including phone solicitors.

[just-call-me-ella]

This is so true. If I don’t have patience for your stupidity then I’ll just be honest about my impairments and bam, suddenly you need to go because you forgot to wash your hamster.

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

They serve me first in now at Centerlink, literally, any appointments going, they just say, yep. You can come in now and then treat me like shit and now they don’t know what to do with me haha

[cutebots-moved]

when music continues to play after i closed the tab

[lostovae]

The way we perceive time and history is so weird I get so tripped out when I think about how Cleopatra lived closer tot he iPhone being invented than she did to the Great Pyramids being built. Or how Stonehenge would have already been ruins when Jesus walked the earth or how Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire or how Anne Frank and MLK were born in the same year like man this it’s all so crazy

[221bitssmallerontheoutside]

this fucked me up

[itchyandscratchyanditchyagain]

I- I’m lost. In my own planety timey thing 

[tastefullyoffensive]

Yosemite stick thief comes clean. (via imgur) [larger version]

[sosharky]

Please put them in nature awww