Well, I’m back. The year went by quickly, even though it felt long, and here I am again because I finally feel like I have something to say.
At the end of 2023, I made a mistake—I wrote a detailed action plan for 2024. For instance, I aimed to draw 20 portraits. It’s not a huge number, but since I had stopped drawing before that, reaching that goal would have been a significant achievement for me. There were other creative plans as well. I had a lot on my plate, but in the end, I didn’t accomplish even a third of them.
At the beginning of the year, it seemed like there was still plenty of time. Then summer came (and I constantly forget that in summer, I lose my ability to focus), and I faced health issues. When autumn started, I simply didn’t want to do anything anymore.
At the end of 2024, I didn’t make a list of plans because I came across a thought that resonated with me: you just need to choose a direction for the year, and that’s enough. I realized I had made a mistake thinking that after years of creative apathy, I could force myself to do something by placing myself in strict frameworks. Maybe this approach works for some, but it turned out not to be my path.
So, at the end of 2024, I chose a direction for myself: I want my inner fire to burn again, and it doesn’t matter what I’ll be doing. I just want to rediscover the person I used to be before my fire went out. For that, I don’t need a to-do list for the year. My course is set towards inspiration. To learn to love myself and what I do without devaluing it. Towards discovering something new within myself.
I know I’m not the only one experiencing something similar, and I just want to say that nothing is ever truly lost. Even if it seems like the inner fire is dead—it’s not. It’s just sleeping.
My fire is awakening, which is why I’m here now. And I wish for those who have lost themselves to one day close their eyes and see the light igniting within.
