This is me

[itiswhatitis002]

I’m getting more and more ill

[dr0wnedperfectionist]

me trying to find someone on this earth who gives a shit about me

[fakingitdarling]

My brain feels like it’s about to explode.

[calefacient-bpd-deactivated2019]

No, you don’t understand. People with BPD notice everything. We notice when you don’t smile as wide at us one morning. We notice when you don’t hug as tight. When you don’t sound quite as happy when speaking to us. When you look the slightest bit uninterested in what we’re saying.

And when you talk to someone else. When you talk to someone else and look like you’re enjoying yourself, we assume that you’d rather be with them all of the time. So we leave before you can confirm or deny that.

And if you start telling us about a fun time you had with someone else it will not end well. We might be too shy to speak up about it, but it’ll still eat away at us. We’ll feel abandoned. 

And “You should have been there!” is the absolute worst thing to say. We know we should have been there. We want to have been there. We know you had fun and we’re happy that you did, but the sadness of feeling abandoned completely obliterates that. So don’t rub it in.

Instead, say, “Yeah, we had fun, but I’m glad I’m here now” or, “… that you’re here now”. It really makes us feel loved and appreciated. 

I know this barely scratches the surface of what we feel on a daily basis, but I hope this can help those who don’t know.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[ourcrushedhopes]

[heartbreakhur]

[itiswhatitis002]

Constantly put down, looked at like a piece of shit, not noticed missing from bed, not wanted.........

[itiswhatitis002]

And after everything

You carry on prioritising!

[itiswhatitis002]

I just feel sad

Empty

Fed up

Scared

Angry

Worried

Anxious

Unloved

And it's usually cause I fuck everything up

[itiswhatitis002]

Waiting

Always last on the list! Done waiting, done wanting and done needing!

[zwartewolk]

I’m not scared of death, I’m scared of time.

(via asblackasmysoull)

[thefaultinfiction]

[etherdb]

[itiswhatitis002]

Thoughts aren't changing this time

[wyattwesleywriting]

Just when you think you’re fine, when everything is okay, someone says one thing. They say that one word that pushes you into a spiral and your whole world turns upside down. That one word sends you back to your worse moment, your darkest corner. It’s strange how an innocent comment can make everything you’ve tried so hard to build go crumbling down.

KJS // Excerpt from the book I’ll never write #51 (via wyattwesleywriting)

[redmist36]

[better-off-deadx]

A part of me wants to get better. The other part wants to die.

(via better-off-deadx)