bpd talks

feelings, man.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

the cultural shift of how we all perceive tumblr fascinates me so much. it went from ‘home where all my best friends hang out’ to ‘horrible awful hellsite i hate it so much’ to ‘mess that’s shoddily taped together yet somehow the most bearable social network left’

[wizardshark]

It’s a bombed out shelter in an Apocalypse, it keeps a roof over our head

[neurotypical-karen]

After seeing multiple creators having to publically out themselves or reveal past traumas in order to get fans to stop yelling at them for representing a certain minority/concept in fiction, can yall learn to take a second to consider how your words and actions affect others? Especially in fandom spaces? By demanding that people can only talk about certain issues if they’ve personally been affected by them, you are directly forcing people to reveal their trauma/minority status.

[neurotypical-karen]

This was prompted by fans’ response to the latest episode of a TMA featuring substance abuse, but also remember a few months ago when Jameela Jamil was cast to play a queer woman in an upcoming movie and there was so much backlash that she had to come out as queer? That fucking sucked.

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

^^ and the same thing happened with Keiynan Lonsdale from Love, Simon?

[callmearcturus]

#hot take–‘you’re not x so you can’t write x’ is bad praxis#if you can’t find something actually wrong with the actual portrayal#maybe take a step back and ask yourself if perhaps your trauma is getting in the way of you’re enjoyment of the media#which is a totally valid but SEPARATE issue from creators being bigoted  (via @dinosaurrainbowstarfish)

[mindthelspace]

I hate “If you’re not X/haven’t experienced X, you don’t get to write about X.” Partly because of this- it forces people to make their traumas and identities public knowledge- and partly because it honestly seems inclined to shut down empathy. “You haven’t experienced X yourself, so you are dramatically and irrevocably different from people who have, to the point where you’ll never be able to conceptualise X well enough to write about it non-offensively.” 

Sorry, but that’s bullshit. To give an example I’m qualified to give- If a neurotypical person wanted to write about, say, an autistic person facing ableism, and put actual care and thought into it, that’s brilliant. Like, yes, please do this! Please try to understand and relate to us and think about how the world looks to us! Thank you for thinking our stories are worth portraying! 

“You’re neurotypical, therefore you’re Not Allowed to write about an autistic character facing ableism”? Fuck off. That sounds like a good way to discourage people from writing autistic characters, for a start, while also entrenching the (already very prevalent) idea that we’re too other for non-autistic people to comprehend. 

[self-winding]

I wrote a book about an autistic character and was pressured to out myself.  I’ve heard stories of authors being asked invasive personal questions about their sexuality or gender identity by agents who are deciding whether to take on their work.

The whole #ownvoices thing started as just a way to draw attention to existing marginalized authors, but once it became a trend and a “selling point” it really started to become harmful to those same authors.

To some degree, the identity of the author has always been treated as a commodity or a marketing tool in the publishing industry.  But it’s gotten worse in recent years.  And it’s hard to know how to fight it.  I want a world where stories are judged on their own merits and not by which identity boxes the author can check, but it’s harder to create a viral hashtag campaign around that idea.

[pigcatapult]

If you have put yourself in a position where you would be less upset if you learned someone went through something traumatic, you have not put yourself in a moral position.

[bpd-sol]

helpful Abandonment Chart™

[liefly]

having no emotional permanence means that if a friend isn’t actively engaged in your life then you assume they don’t care and hate you

[bramstrokerxxx]

The fact that a bookstore psychology section contains books about how to deal with someone like myself but no books which tell me how I can deal with my disorder speaks volumes to how society views mental health and those with psychological disorders.

[thesadghostclub]

[borderlinebravery]

DBT Distress Tolerance skills: TIP

Distress Tolerance skills are here to help you tolerate painful situations. When changing a situation/emotion is either impossible or ineffective, the other option is to tolerate it. These skills aren’t here to make your painful emotions go away. Allowing yourself to feel emotional pain as it happens is necessary in order to avoid suffering. Instead, distress tolerance skills exist in an effort to make feeling emotional pain a bit more bearable as a situation takes its natural course. One of the DT skills is TIP. Think TIP when you need help to calm extreme emotions. 

T (Temperature): Change the temperature of your face with cold water.  Put your entire face into ice water while holding your breath for 15-30 seconds. When you trick your brain into thinking that you dived into cold water, your heartbeat slows and more blood flows to your brain and heart. Do this in a calm place to maximize effectiveness. Use this when you have a strong, quick distressing emotion to help regulate your emotional response. (For a milder result, you can also do this by holding an ice cube in your hand, holding a cold drink, or running your hand under cold water. Reusable ice cubes are awesome. You can also step outside if you live in a cold area).

I (Intense Exercise): Physical exhaustion can calm down your body from a heightened emotional state.  Exercise intensely, even if only briefly. The goal is to use your body’s stored physical energy to give a feeling of calm.

P (Progressive Muscle Relaxation): Relaxing your muscles can help relax your mind. Start by getting into a comfortable position to relax and bringing yourself into a mindful state. For each area of the body, tighten the muscles while focusing on the sensation.  Release the tension as you breathe out, focusing on the sensation again. Do this for the hands, arms, shoulders, forehead, eyes, face, mouth, neck, chest, back, stomach, buttocks, thighs, calves, ankles, and feet. Practice this exercise in a calm, quiet state to best prepare you to use it during emotional stress.

Source: (x) Paraphrased by Rachel for Borderline Bravery / Images: (x)(x)(x)

[jesusbpdandme-deactivated201603]

Myths about emotions (DBT)

I should feel differently about this. The fact is, you feel the way you feel and there’s no right way to feel about anything. Invalidating your emotions is a dangerous trap! Notice any judgements and challenge them. You feel the way you feel. No one will react the same way to things because we are all individuals.

My emotions are bad. No emotion is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. The emotion you feel doesn’t make you ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Emotions aren’t sin! Emotions are human!

I’m overreacting to this. Challenge, challenge, challenge! If you’re unsure about your emotional response then check the facts. But your emotion is not an overreaction.

There’s a right way to feel about everything. Nope. The way you feel is the way you feel. 

Being emotional means I’m out of control. Being emotional makes you human. As a society, we’re not good about talking about emotions. Some people believe that you should not show emotion in church because it’s shameful and sinful! But the truth is, feeling emotions doesn’t mean you’re out of control.

My emotions are who I am. Actually, emotions are a part of us. They are not our identity.

Emotions should always be trusted. Emotions can sometimes be trusted, but not always. Check the facts before you decide that you can trust your emotion.

All painful emotions are the result of a bad attitude. Painful emotions tend to be the result of struggles, triggers and illness. Feeling low or angry or anxious isn’t the result of a bad attitude!

[hopeforbpd]

Don’t believe everything you think.

[bpd--ghostie]

me: *excitedly tells friend something*

friend: ahh nice

me: Enthusiasm deficiency of 8.7376% detected. If you hate me so much just say so

[bean-pd]

i just wanna like... take out my brain and factory reset it and not redo everything but definitely redo some shit especially like not developing bpd or an ed :)

[bpdtalks]

One of the good things about being an emotional clusterfuck in the past is that I have become a master at self-soothing.

[twisteddoodles]

[a-hurricane-thundercloud]

To those of you that fear recovery because you’ve become so comfortable with your suffering:

You don’t notice it leave. It goes away slowly and you don’t even notice it’s gone until youre happy and content.

You won’t miss it. It won’t hurt. You won’t be empty. I promise it will be so much better than your head tells you.

[hearts-hunger]

i’ve been saying this to myself this morning and i’m going to say it to you in case you need to hear it: you are not here to be physically attractive. that is not your purpose. you are here to learn new things and be kind to people and listen to your favorite music and pet cute dogs and read big books and drink good coffee. you are here to see beauty in the world and create it when you can’t find any. you are not here to impress people with how you look.

[toadallybpd]

It costs $0.00 to not abandon me

[bpdtalks]

I miss how Tumblr used to be for me. I didn't have a ton of followers or anything, but I had plenty of mutuals and there was a sense of community among us. A sort of bond. When I posted I usually felt like at least one person might see it and give a shit. It's not like we were all constantly messaging or anything like that. Just...I don't know. I'm so fucking inarticulate these days. I felt not alone when I was on here. But then I deleted my account when one of my exes found my account and was being creepy and I just haven't gotten back into it the same way. Now I feel like I'm old and irrelevant compared to most of the people on here. I'm just rambling now. I'm stupid.

[vacillating-bpd-queen]