I was pushing your baby brother in his stroller that was once bought for you and I felt you grab my hand. I saw your golden bouncy curls and your beautiful smile. You let go of my hand and you ran ahead. I attempted to call your name as you faded into the sunlight. You would have turned two next month. A sadness came over me and my heart grew heavy. I continued to walk and realized it's only what could have been but never will be. You looked just like your dad. It felt so real that as I entered home I cried and was confused. I think of you everyday. I am filled with joy holding your little brother my rainbow baby but behind that will always be the sadness that I wasn't able to hold you but once, hear you cry but once. Burying a baby is not something you get over quickly. Days go by, months go by and years go by and it still hurts. But on days like today I miss you and who you would have been. I hate that you left us even if it was for the better. I know how strong you were for the short time you were here with us. I think of you daily and I don't think that will ever change. I love you as I love my babies that are here with me now. One day I will join you and then I will grab your hand and fade with you into the sunlight.
