March 8, 2019
More birthday’s are here as my family members all start to grow a year older.
But I am not in a celebratory mood. Not even close. I have had a roller coaster week. I started off high and great all because of the amazing trip I had in NYC last weekend and today I am slipping deeper into not so great. I don’t know if it is the less eating because of my fasting on Wednesday and well to make it short work. I have found myself slipping down and my gut is saying prepare for the other foot to drop. My gut and I are not friends because I want to be feeling better and happier and all this stuff but it is saying hold off just wait because soon it’ll be like this again or worse.
It could also be the fact that it is Lent and I have already had to either given in or alter my Lenten promise and worry too much about following the rules. I do not think that I will be damned to hell if I break the rules I just wish 1. I would stand up for myself and 2. that some people close to me would acknowledge this shit, excuse the language but just so you know I cuss more than a little. I know they are not Catholic so give them grace but I am not sitting here holding it in, not telling anyone, plus they have made it very clear that they know all about Lent and therefore should take into account the fact that I am a practicing Catholic. But alas that is not how my life goes because well most people have started to only think of themselves and I for one just can’t be that person. So here I am sitting at lunch wishing I could have some tacos and debating how to get through dinner tonight because it is burgers. I also really need the protein because of the lack of food the other day.
Cheers to Friday night.
