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[itsfrantastic]

RANKED: All of the non-competition films I saw at Film Fest Gent

1. Love is Strange

John Lithgow and Alfred Molina play Ben and George, a couple who, after nearly 40 years together, decide to get married. This winds up complicated their lives far more than simplifying it, and Love is Strange depicts the changes they go through both individually and as a couple following this decision. It's a true, true romance film--one where you wholeheartedly believe in the couple's dedication and love and passion for the other. It reminded me of Beginners in some ways--all good ones--and is easily one of the best films I've seen this year. 

2. Pride

Pride depicts the historic union between an LGBTQ organization and a Welsh mining community in the 1980s. I'm gonna get a lot of flack for how much I liked Pride because it's a very surface-level-crowd-pleaser. One of the other critics here called it the "bread and butter sandwich of films" (and then went onto win the Grand Jury Prize for "strongest shade"). And sure, it is relatively straight-forward and vaguely emotionally manipulative, but it's also a good story. It's a really interesting and progressive union that feels worth shining some light on. There are a lot of nice performances from young British actors--Joe Gilgun is so, so marvelous, and Andrew Scott is quite subtle and tragic as well--as well as some firecrackers in ye olde British acting guard (Imelda Staunton, Bill Nighy, etc.). It's fun. I'm glad I saw it. It made me feel good. 

3. Mr. Turner

Mr. Turner is an objectively better film than Pride: it's better shot, it's better scripted, it's better acted. That all said, though, Mr. Turner is a difficult film. It's one that I understand to be objectively good, but I struggled with it. It depicts the last 25 years or so of artist JMW Turner's life as he falls in and out of fashion with the art community. It's very funny and interesting in parts, but also tonally all over the place. Whereas most biopics portray their protagonist as kind of a bastard with a heart of gold, Mr. Turner takes this to an extreme. You might like Johnny Cash at the end of Walk the Line--you love him, despite his flaws--Mr. Turner doesn't give a shit if you like Turner by the end. I certainly didn't, as tragic as he may have been. It's going to be one worth seeing this awards season, but you may come away as uneasy as I felt.

4. 20,000 Days on Earth

This movie is really cool. That's just the best way I can describe it: cool. You feel cool when you watch it. You come away thinking Nick Cave is really cool (if you didn't think this already). It completely takes on the docu-concert-drama genre in an interesting way. I struggle with silly movies like Never Say Never and This Is Us because despite being marketed as documentaries, they always seem so woefully scripted. Musician-writer Nick Cave turns this on its head: why bother marketing as a documentary? Have a film that is essentially shot like a standard drama with everyone playing themselves. It's still a little staged, a little scripted, but ultimately feels more honest. 

5. Fury

Fury is serviceable in every sense of the word. As far as World War Two films go, it's not adding anything particularly new to a dialogue about the horrors of war. It might be more graphically violent than Saving Private Ryan (though despite all the attention paid to gore in Fury, I think they're equally gross), but it still shows World War Two soldiers as fairly disturbed but still honorable men. Fucked up dudes with hearts of gold. That's fine. It tells the story of a tank crew spearheaded by Dad Pitt and featuring such artists ("artists") as Shia LaBeouf (not an artist) and Michael Peña (definitely an artist). After one of their gunners is shot and killed, total fucking n00b Logan Lerman joins their crew and they have to teach him how to commit murders ("How To Get Away With Murder"). The cinematography is quite good and interesting. I thought Dad Pitt was a strong performer, as well as Shia LaBeouf (I know). Logan Lerman doesn't do anything special beyond his trademarked Logan Lerman panic attack (see: The Perks of Being a Wallflower). It's not a bad film, it's not a great film. It's got some things, and it's also missing some things. No other film this season has Michael Peña in a top hat, though.

6. Adieu au Langage (in 3D)

There's a picture I see on Tumblr from time to time of a pigeon with a sign around its neck that says "I'm stupid." Either the movie is the pigeon or I'm the pigeon. This was my first Jean-Luc Godard film and well, you know, you get it. It didn't make any sense. It's a lot of footage of a dog shot on a iPhone plus nudity plus sensory overload. Don't let your mom see it because it'll confuse and upset her. Also: it should say a lot about how much I hated the final film on this list that the Godard film that I didn't even begin to understand gets ranked higher than...

7. White Bird in a Blizzard

This is one of the dumbest films I've seen in my whole life! It's so dumb. It's unbearably stupid. Kat (Shailene Woodley) has issues with her weird abusive mother Eve (Eva Green) who then just ups and vanishes one day. Where did she go? Who is the white bird? Is there a blizzard? No one cares. Every performer is acting like their an entirely different film than everyone else. There are a lot of bad wigs. The highlight of NO FILM EVER should be, "um, well, Thomas Jane is still pretty hot for being in his 40s." Just the worst. The worst!

8. The Loft

This is an American remake of a Dutch remake of a Belgian film. James Marsden, Karl Urban, Eric Stonestreet (???????!!!why???!!!), Wentworth Miller (lol), and Matthias Schoenaerts ("Belgium") star as five terrible men who share a stupid loft where they can keep their mistresses from their wives they hate (HASHTAG WIVES SUCK). It might actually be a little less stupid than White Bird in a Blizzard but it's wildly chauvinistic and obnoxious and still very stupid. No amount of shirtless Karl Urban can reverse misogyny (sry, Karl). They're having distribution issues in the States and to that I say GOOD RIDDANCE. 

[itsfrantastic]

RANKED: All the official competition films at Film Fest Gent

1. Turist, from Sweden (or as it will be more commonly known, Force Majeure)

A family takes a ski vacation, has a close call with an avalanche, and suffers the consequences for the rest of the trip. It's an astoundingly funny family drama, reflecting predominantly on patriarchy and fatherhood and relationships. It's really entertaining and smart, with wonderful performances and great special effects. In case you need more motivation, Tormund Giantsbane from Game of Thrones is in it and he is very good, with fantastic comedic timing and also he wears a hoodie, which is weird. This is Sweden's submission for the 2015 Best Foreign Film Oscar, and if it plays on a big screen near you, I highly urge you to go see it.

2. Je Suis a Toi, from Belgium (no trailer, sorry, bbs)

Je Suis a Toi is one of the films for which I'm tasked to write a formal review which will pop up on Photogénie at some point soon. An older gay baker buys a young Argentinean escort, who promptly falls in love with the female sales associate at the bakery. Love triangles are pretty passé at this point, but this is a good one. This is such a wonderful film about indulgences and sexuality and desires. It's a bit genre-less, but ultimately a romance, but it plays on awkwardness and intersectionality in such an amazingly progressive way. It also takes place in a bakery most of the time, and it features a wonderful and diverse soundtrack with everything from operetta to electropunk.

3. Leviathan, from Russia

Leviathan is a religious allegory--a modern take on the Story of Job set in present day Russia, practically Siberia. It's long and immense, taking an intimate political story, and transplanting it into one of the world's most unforgiving natural and social environments. It was thought-provoking and stunningly shot. It's not the type of film I'm typically drawn to, but I felt so surprised and moved by it as a whole. This is Russia's submission for Best Foreign Film.

4. The Kindergarten Teacher, from Israel

This is one of the most disturbing films about art I've ever seen. A kindergarten teacher notices that one of her students is essentially some kind of poetic prodigy, pacing around at recess and reciting verse aloud. She makes it her goal in life to foster his talent, alienating the two of them from the rest of society. It's an anti-Dead Poets Society. It's the kind of teacher you don't want alone with children. There's no type of sexual abuse in it, but emotional, no doubt, and a blatant manipulation of childhood trust. Tough to watch, but also dazzling cinematography and musings on poetry, plagiarism, and educators.

5. Une Nouvelle Amie, from France

This is a very campy and very melodramatic French film that may not be the best in quality but was one of the most entertaining films I saw from the competition selections. The death of a woman's childhood best friend brings her closer to her friend's widower than she can imagine. I want to say more, but this is a film with a ~twist~, and while I felt like knowing the twist would have made me more interested from the start, I don't want to spoil anything. It plays out a bit like a soap opera, but it's also very funny and heartbreaking in parts, with interesting commentary on sexuality and relationships. 

6. Still The Water, from Japan

TEENS JUST WANNA FEEL FEELS. Two Japanese teenagers living on a small island village learn about death and love in what is maybe the worst/best summer of all time. I don't know if it's summer. It looked like summer. There's a lot to say about the passage of time and it's very long and poetic with very stylized romantic language, but it was one of the more visually stimulating films we saw. Its two teenage leads are very empathetic and strong performers.

7. Reality, from France

A girl finds a mysterious videotape. A director promises to produce his best-received film yet. Another director screens a new feature film for a producer, and that film happens to be about the other director, as well as a girl with a videotape, as well as a--sound very confusing? It was very confusing. Sound like a movie that has Jon Heder in a rat suit? It was a movie with Jon Heder in a rat suit. Reality doesn't necessarily make sense, but it almost doesn't have to (emphasis on almost). Entertaining and funny and features Eric Wareheim in drag. I'll take absurdist humor now and then, though I'm not sure if it'll leave a very lasting impression.

8. Violet, from Belgium

A group of young BMX riders mourn the loss of one of their own, led by the boy who was there for the death of his friend. It's a simple story and a very simple film, essentially a series of very long uninterrupted shots portraying the complex nature of guilt for teenagers in particular. The whole thing felt like an audiovisual mural. I might not like dialogue-less films like this, but it was very moving to some others in the group.

9. White God, from Hungary

This is an animal movie. This is a film about a girl's mean dad (DADS SUCK became a fun thesis of a lot of these films in the bottom half of my list) who sets her dog free when it becomes a nuisance. From there, it follows the young girl as she roams the streets of town trying to find her dog, as well as the dog's adventures (or misadventures, given most of them are wildly violent and involve fighting other dogs) with the city's stray animals. Think Incredible Journey except a lot more maiming. This is Hungary's official selection for Best Foreign Film.

10. Jauja, from Argentina but predominantly in Danish

Viggo Mortensen stars as a Danish military officer whose daughter goes missing while he is on duty in Argentina (HASHTAG DADS SUCK). He wanders through the desert to find her. It's like a Western, but a lot less people get shot and the whole thing looks like it was filmed through an Instagram filter. This is only as high as it is on the list because it has Viggo Mortensen doing what he does best: trolling through gorgeous landscapes on a horse while being dirty and sad. 

11. Gente de Bien, from Colombia

A wealthy woman "adopts" her carpenter and his son, in hopes of making their lives easier by paying for them and providing better food and shelter during the Christmas season. Money can't fix all problems, and being forced into an entirely new social class puts strain on the relationship between the two (HASHTAG DADS SUCK). This film was well-made and good, but doesn't really add anything new to the whole "money can't make us happy" argument.

12. Waste Land, from Belgium

I've already lampooned this film on the internet enough in the past few days, essentially for being a MEAN COP W/ A HEART OF GOLD drama starring a Belgian actor named JEREMIE RENIER (I mean, seriously). A mean cop with a heart of gold explores a case that involves some kind of scary voodoo magic from Congo, all the while trying to appease his recently pregnant wife who just doesn't get it (HASHTAG WIVES SUCK) and deal with his Alzheimer's-ridden father who used to be abusive (HASHTAG DADS SUCK). The hero commits a sexual assault and faces no punishment for it beyond his own personal torment because, ugh, being a cop is hard. I give this points for the spooky edge it has in parts; I take away points for being like so many other films in its genre.

13. Black Coal, Thin Ice, from China

Here we go again: a mean cop with a heart of gold explores one very disturbing case over five years. It was a wildly confusing film with twists and turns that didn't make sense other than characters blatantly lying about some things. Here we go again: the hero commits a sexual assault and faces no punishment for it beyond his own personal torment because, ugh, being a cop is hard. This got points for being visually stimulating (with a lot of cool neon lights as well as winter landscapes); this lost points for being 45 minutes too long.

14. Stratos, from Greece

Stratos is a hitman who's been in the business for too long and now everything sucks (HASHTAG EVERYTHING SUCKS). There's a mob family he doesn't want to work for, there are some neighbors of his that he maintains a steady friendship with, there's the brother of a criminal he "owes" who starts demanding money. Stratos has a lot on his plate and the dude is stressed out. There are a lot of crime movie tropes in this film which is almost two and a half hours long, and none of them felt new. The only points this film gets is that its mean-spirited with a heart of gold protagonist doesn't sexually assault anyone. Congrats, I suppose. I'm sick of the antihero cop genre. I'm sick of the hitman genre. I have no interest in seeing another movie about a hitman unless the hitman is multiracial and/or a lesbian and/or literally anything beyond a sad dude. Call me then, but otherwise whatever. I like that noir is making a pretty significant comeback as a genre, but I'd like to see it feature someone beyond righteous but misguided men. 

[addelburgh]

[madamecuriewasmymother]

[itsfrantastic]

“It’s after labor day, I’m wearing whales.”

— Schmidt, New Girl 2x03

[littlealienproducts]

[ectojammer-deactivated20170613]

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

stepping over the haters

[bestrooftalkever]

BEAST MODE

[itsfrantastic]

Oh my god, I laughed so hard.

[itsfrantastic]

Squints McIdiot @ Niagara

[itsfrantastic]

Movies of 2013: Life of Pi (2012) Starring: Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan, and Rafe Spall Directed by: Ang Lee For the record: I always really liked this book. I know it gets a lot of hate (namely from my mom who said it was "kinda bullshit" or something when it came out back when I was in middle school), but I always found it really beautiful and profound. Visually: this movie was easily the most beautiful film of all of the ones nominated--and probably all of the times in general for 2012. I tend to have a lot of hate when it comes to movies that are predominantly CGI, but this one uses it to its full advantages without the whole thing looking fake. Like I said halfway through: Richard Parker is a huge achievement. Gollum-level CGI achievement. Hyenas: are the actual worst. Far more upsetting to watch: than to read! Maybe it's because I can handle violence and trauma better in literature than on-screen but I had a very difficult time watching a lot of what was happening in this.  All of the performances in this are great (and I don't mean to discredit Suraj Sharma): but I would especially just watch Rafe Spall and Irrfan Khan talk to each other quietly for hours. Irrfan Khan has been one of my favorite character actors over the past few years, and it was really nice to see him get more screen time than he usually does. When he speaks at the end of the film and starts crying a little, I was so, so moved.  I feel deeply betrayed: that no one told me there was an anglerfish in this? The scene where Richard Parker is looking down into the ocean started out being beautiful and trippy and complicated and then suddenly there was an anglerfish swimming at my face, which I know would have been even MORE traumatic in 3D. But still. Someone should have said something, like the way people are like, "oh, the torture scenes in Zero Dark Thirty are rough." "The anglerfish scene is rough." Open ocean: is officially the scariest thing ever, and even without a tiger, if that was me, I just would have had a giant anxiety attack until I died. I thought about that a lot during the movie. Just, like, looking out over water. I'd die. That's that. No floating island, no whale jumping over my head. Bye.

[itsfrantastic]

Thursday Evening Pro-Tip

If the "alternative music magazine" approaches you and asks you to write for them, seemingly without the awareness that you don't know anything about music except for classical and top 40, don't try to be a funny asshole and answer, "yeah, sure, if you let me write about One Direction or something." 

Because then they'll think for two seconds and go, "yeah, that works," and you'll be up at 11:30 on a weeknight trying to figure out how to write a 600 word thinkpiece about One Direction using Tumblr as a primary source.

[itsfrantastic]

A brief morning note that The Great Mouse Detective is up on Netflix Instant which means I can revisit my uncomfortable childhood crush on Vincent Price-voiced villain Ratigan whenever I damn well please.

[itsfrantastic]

I am 21 years old.

I am a pretty accomplished writer--both analytically and creatively.

I have a larger-than-average vocabulary.

I am a senior in college, and I am still writing essays that "compare and contrast" or "identify the similarities and differences," and I still have yet to find a more intelligent way of saying "there are similarities but also differences between these two things" than, well, basically just saying that.

[itsfrantastic]

That means I'm doing it right.

[itsfrantastic]

Movies of 2012: Singin' in the Rain (1952) 

Thoughts in 10 words or less: I just saw this Wednesday! It's delightful, OBVIOUSLY.