It's HG Girl on Fire

British, Lesbian, Pale, Awkward. I will ship Joniss until I die.

[itshggirlonfire725]

Gonna tell my kids this guy was H

[itshggirlonfire725]

Just me, or was anyone else thoroughly underwhelmed with the final?

[itshggirlonfire725]

The reunion starting with Millie singing "I kissed a girl" was such a power move.

[itshggirlonfire725]

Honestly, Henry saying that he can comfortably do his pies in an hour and a half and then being told that he's only got an hour left is such a mood

[itshggirlonfire725]

I know that the "reunion tour" line in the finale was probably just a joke, but it's got me low key hoping that Netflix is planning a spinoff in however many years when Alex is out of prison.

[itshggirlonfire725]

How DARE oitnb bring back Maritza just to do her dirty like that?

[itshggirlonfire725]

You wanna know something kind of heartbreaking?

In "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again", Donna is dead. It's also revealed that Sophie is 25. Assuming that Donna went straight from high school to university, she would have been 21 when she finished uni (assuming she did a 3 year course), most likely 22 when she gave birth to Sophie, and then she died 24 years later (as she's already been dead for a year in this movie). Therefore, Donna Sheridan wasn't even 50 before she died.

[itshggirlonfire725]

AAAAHHHHH TED SPELLED "DEFINATELY" IN THE SAME WAY THAT H DID IN THE LAST EPISODE. I CAN'T HANDLE MY AC-12 BABY BEING CORRUPT.

[robotmango]

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

[awed-frog]

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

[robotmango]

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

[scarylullabies]

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry

[skellydun]

It isn't fair that I still miss her.

i miss michelle obama too. it’ll be okay.

[jonissheadcanons-archive]

Modern au Joniss being YouTubers but Johanna also works as a stunt double in films and one time they do a Q&A in which Johanna reveals that sometimes she forgets to breathe while doing her stunts and Katniss goes “I know how to make you breathe” and winks at the camera and then you see her turn the camera off and the next few seconds of the video are a blank screen with the words “you know what happened next” and then when the video restarts they both have slight sex hair, Katniss isn’t wearing lipstick any more, and Johanna’s wearing a different shirt to cover up the hickey on her neck.

[itshggirlonfire725]

omg and the next question is "when did you two last have sex" and they both just give each other that look and then move onto the next one

[chizuu-deactivated20200817]

lesbian holding a can of juice… CAN you believe this?

[itshggirlonfire725]

How much are they paying you for that advertising?

[hopeswanmills]

I feel like if sarah paulson wasn’t an actor she would be that elementary school teacher who takes a swig of vodka when the kids are at recess and is dating the art teacher

[itshggirlonfire725]

I've never thought this before, but now I can't think of another way to describe Sarah Paulson.

[sassahi]

au where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate

[sassahi]

ADDITIONALLY: when your soulmate dies, the world goes back to black and white

[oooarchive]

THAT’S HORRIBLE i love it

[hopefulartandwriting]

No but can you imagine having a normal day at work or running errands but then everything suddenly goes black and white.

[elizabethismms]

LEAVE MY LIFE

[itshggirlonfire725]

What if you’ve lived your whole life in colour and didn't know that it was because of the soulmate thing,but then one day your best friend dies and everything goes black and white.

[chizuu-deactivated20200817]

lesbians with short hair=fuckin gorgeous

lesbians with long hair=fuckin gorgeous

lesbians with no hair=fuckin gorgeous

lesbians=fuckin gorgeous

[foreveryourss-]

Nah homie this is false

[chizuu-deactivated20200817]

actually it is true! my source is Me because i am a lesbian, and i find lesbians gorgeous,

[luckyfaeth]

I am also a lesbian ,,,and I also believe this is true, lesbians confirmed as fuckin gorgeous

[itshggirlonfire725]

as a lebian, i can confirm this is legit true. 100%. All lesbians are fuckin gorgeous. 

[katiebishop]

[dangerhamster]

100,000 notes and I wonder how many people realise this line was improvised by a 7 year old

[buzzfeeduk]

Queen

[zoecravitz]

“He’s a 57 year old fuckwit. He shot – he is – he shot three people at an abortion clinic, ‘cause he was pro life. How can you be pro life and shoot someone?” – Russell Howard on the man who attacked an abortion clinic in Colorado. [x]